Without You I'm Not A Survivor
by corruptedPOV
Summary: After the past two years events, Danny couldn't look after Tom anymore, so he had to send him away. But with Tom's insecurities getting the better of him on his own, and the media -survive the strain and the lies? Sequel to Nowhere Left To Run. Flones, Pudd, Floynter, Junes, OT4. Possibly triggering for some people.
1. Chapter 1

**Here it is! Sequel to Nowhere Left To Run! I hope you all enjoy this, and if you do read, its only polite to comment on it too! **

**xxPUDDxx - and thank you for the comments, they really cheer up my day and it makes me so happy to know you enjoy my writing as much as i enjoy physically writing it! :D and yeah i'm okay after all my operations, one leg is shorter than the other and growth spurts make them go a bit weird, but i'm okay, it doesn't affect my ability to walk or anything, so its all good! :D**

* * *

Prologue

"welcome back Danny, is this Tom?" a man asked, looking at me weirdly. Danny was shaking, he looked so sad again. "y-yeah, yeah this is Tom." Danny nodded, holding me close to him. Who was this man? What did he want? "we have his room ready so if you'll follow me." The man walked off, through a set of doors, they were covered in metal strips... I was confused. "Danny, what...whats going on?" I asked, turning to look at him. His cheeks were getting wet as water ran down from his eyes, he looked so scared. "nothing Tommy, nothing, its just...nothing. Follow me okay?" Danny pressed his face to mine for a few seconds, before pulling me through the doors.

He took me to a room, it was bright and white like the hallways we had gone through, there was a bed too, it wasn't big enough to fit both of us in there though. How were we going to fit if we were staying here?! "thats too small! We're bigger!" I told Danny, he just hugged me tightly, making sounds that sounded so upset! I didn't understand, why was he so sad? "we'll manage it somehow Tommy, we'll manage it." Danny said, his voice was shaking like he was, my shoulder was getting wet. "I think its best you left it to us now, is there anything you need to say?" the strange man asked.

"yeah, make sure that its warm before bed time, and that James and the Star Wars blanket is there. When he gets stressed just back off and let him calm down, give hugs whenever they're needed. And, and...take good care of him, please! Don't make him eat by himself, you've got to give it to him, just mind your fingers. At night, don't forget to leave a light on, or leave the TV on a cartoon channel, just have it on silent...Don't hurt him, don't force him into things, its not good to force him into things. Please, just be gentle... Tommy I love you so much, I really do. Don't forget that, don't forget the past few weeks either, I did it because I love you so much. Be a good boy for me, alright? Be a good boy and do as these people tell you, I'll be back later on, I promise. I'll bring Harry and Dougie too, and Carrie, and anything else you want. I love you Tommy, I promise I love you so much... I've got to go do something, so stay here for a little while and I'll be back. I love you." Danny leant forward and pressed his lips to mine, hugging me tightly, before letting me go and leaving me in the room with this strange man. What was going on?!


	2. Chapter 2

**LittleLouiseeee - thank you! :D**

* * *

1 Tom's POV

Danny didn't come back, he left me there for hours, with the strange man and another person. I didn't know who they were at all! They kept on trying to talk to me, about things I didn't understand, I wanted Danny! I wanted him here! I was scared, I didn't know who these people were or what they wanted! What was this place too? Was this a holiday or something? Was this a holiday? But, if it was, why wasn't Danny here?! Why did he leave me here? It wasn't a fun holiday when there were weird people here and Danny wasn't either. None of our friends were here either, I only had James, the teddy Danny had got me for Christmas. But he didn't want to talk back to me today. I felt so alone and scared, why couldn't I know what was going on?!

"Tommy, can you hear me? Are you paying attention to what I'm saying? Nod at me if you can hear me." The man asked, why did he call me Tommy? He wasn't Danny! Only Danny called me Tommy! "y-you're not Danny!" I told him, he couldn't call me that name! "no, I'm not. My names Doctor Anthony Head, do you mind answering some questions for me?" a doctor?! What?! Why was I in a hospital?! "why am I here?" I asked, I didn't hurt anywhere, so why was I here? And why didn't Danny tell me? "because you need help Tommy, you need some help. You're not...well, at the moment." The doctor said, why was he calling me Tommy?!

"not Tommy! I'm not Tommy!" I told him, he shouldn't call me Tommy! Danny wouldn't be happy if he found out someone else called me Tommy, he didn't like it, and I didn't either! "really? Thats what Danny called you, whats your name then?" he asked, he knew Danny? Could he get him for me? "Danny! Get Danny!" I just wanted him, I missed him and I didn't know where he was! I wasn't supposed to wander off from him, or leave him, I had to be with someone we knew, so he could find me. Why wasn't anyone we knew here? "thats not your name, thats your friends name. What is your name?" the man ignored me, I would tell him if he got me Danny! I didn't know if I was allowed to talk to this man, what if he was bad like other doctors? I didn't want him to hurt me. "get Danny! I want Danny!" I felt water fall down my cheeks, I was so scared, I didn't know where I was or what was happening. I just wanted Danny to hug me and make me feel better, that was all! "tell me your name first. You don't want me to call you Tommy, so what is your name?" why didn't he let me see Danny?!

"Tom! I'm Tom! Now get Danny!" I cried, hugging James to me, I didn't like it here, I wanted a hug from Danny and him to tell me what was happening! "okay Tom, do you have any idea where you are?" the doctor asked, no I didn't! "no! Where's Danny?" he said he would get him when I told him my name, I told him, where was Danny? "he's not here right now, you're in a hospital. A special hospital, so you can get better." The doctor told me, but I was fine! I didn't need to be in a hospital! I needed to go home! I wanted to go home! "I'm fine! I want to go home!" I told him, but he didn't listen. He told me I couldn't go home, this was my home for a while. But, how could it be my home? My home was where Danny was, that had a big bed, and nice squishy things to sit on, and a big screen that we could watch films on...and a garden! It had a really big garden to play in! This wasn't a home!

"not a home! I want my home!" I got off the bed, it was too hard and it wasn't big enough, it wasn't my bed! "this is your home, now sit down and calm down so we can talk about what is going to happen here." The man gave me a mean look, but, I wanted to go home. To my home, why couldn't I go home?! "b-but home! And Danny! I-I want them!" I just wanted them, I didn't like it here. It was too bright and scary, there were more metal strips on the door and the window! Why were they here?! "you need to accept that you can't have them, not right now. Just sit down and we can talk this through, I'll explain to you whats going on." The doctor man told me. I didn't believe him, I refused! Doctors lied, they hurt me all the time! I wanted to go home!

I ran out of the room, not wanting to be here anymore, and down hallway after hallway, so confused over what was happening! All the hallways looked the same, they were all white, and had three doors in each one. They all looked the same! All white, all with metal strips on the windows and little doors under the window, the doors were closed, and locked. What was that about!? "Tom stop right now!" someone shouted at me, but I couldn't! I didn't like it here, I wanted to go home! I got to the doors me and Danny had gone through, and tried to get them open, but they wouldn't open! Why didn't they open?! "Tom don't run away like that! That was wrong! You shouldn't run like that!" the doctor told me off, grabbing my arm and pulling me away. "get off, no! Go away!" I shouted at him, pulling on my arm, but he wouldn't let go! Another man grabbed me too, I couldn't get out! "take him back to his room and don't let him out until he's calm." The man ordered, what?! I wanted to go home! I needed to go home! Why wasn't Danny here? What was going on?! I didn't understand!

2 Danny's POV

What had I done?! What had I done? Oh my god what had I done?! I had left Tom on his own, he was on his own in the psych ward with no idea what was going to happen to him! He had no idea where he was and what was happening, who the people who were talking to him were. And I had just, _dumped _him there, like he was trash. Like he was completely unwanted, like I didn't care about him. I felt terrible, and so ashamed of myself. I should have stayed until Tom was settled in, until he knew what was happening. He was probably so scared right now, he had no idea what was happening. I hated myself, I hated myself so much for doing this. I was a horrible person, I was a terrible boyfriend. I was so sorry, but I couldn't handle being there at the time, I got so emotional, I couldn't take being here. It had gotten too much, knowing what was going to happen to Tom, that I was leaving him there, I didn't want to do it, I regretted even getting in the car.

"Danny, stop beating yourself up, please. You did the right thing, Tom's going to get help there, he'll be fine in a few days, once he's realised whats going on and gets used to it." Harry sat down next to me, putting his arm comfortingly around my waist. "no I didn't! I should have kept him here! This shouldn't have happened! I've just dumped him there! I've just dumped him like some unwanted thing I can't handle!" I cried, practically tearing out my hair in hatred for myself. I had promised to not give up and I had given up, I had given up on my Tommy, and just left him in a strange place for him to get on with it. "you didn't dump him Danny, you took him there and left when you needed to. You've done the right thing, Tom needs the help, he's going to get it and he's going to be so happy afterwards." Dougie sighed, he looked so pale. I had made him look like that, by deciding to send Tom away, he had been gone for four hours now... it felt like months already.

"but, its _Tom. _He's probably scared and alone, with no idea where he is. He didn't have a clue before I left, he didn't know what was going on at all. Tom thought I was staying with him, he said the bed was too small for us both, he actually thought I wasn't going anywhere... he's probably waiting for me, waiting for me to come back." I realised that Tom was probably waiting for me to come back, he was probably waiting for me to walk through the door to his room and cuddle him until he fell asleep. I had told Tom I would be back later on, he was going to stay up all night waiting for me, I could tell. Oh god I was a horrible person for doing that to him!

"Danny, he's going to be alright, Tom will be alright. He'll be fine when we go round tomorrow, he'll be alright, I promise." Harry whispered, pulling me close for a hug. "fat chance. Its Tom, he's not going to be alright." I disagreed, scratching at my arm. "don't think like that. He could be, Tom could surprise us, you never know." Dougie squeezed into our hold as well, grabbing hold of both of our hands. "I hope he does, I can't stand the thought of causing Tom so much stress because of this. He's going to hate me if he has a really bad night, or if they just hit him with the news of where he is. I should have stayed a while, I really should have stayed, but I couldn't, it was too hard to stay, it was awful. Knowing what was happening and what was going to happen." I shuddered, just thinking about it was making me feel sick, my stomach twisting into tight knots.

"it had to be hard, but, the worst bit is over. Now its just a case of leaving it to the doctors to look after Tom and make him better." Harry squeezed my hands, leaning his head on mine and Dougies. "walking away is the hardest thing I've ever done." I whimpered, pressing into Harry's chest, wishing it was Toms. I missed him so much, and it had only been four hours, I wished I could go back and get him, bring him home. Or at least go back and sit with Tom, until he knew what was happening, when he was settled down and understood why these things were happening to him.


	3. Chapter 3

**littleliouseeee- oh please don't cry! *hands tissue***

* * *

3 Harry's POV

Eventually, Danny managed to worry himself into exhaustion, and then it was just the case of getting him into bed and getting him comfy, then he dropped off. We were staying at mine and Dougie's house, so we took him to our bed, thinking it would be better to keep him here instead of Tom's or his own house. Tom's house would just be a kick in the teeth for Danny, and his own house would probably just hold constant reminders of Tom. So we thought it was best that Danny stayed at ours, where it was less...Tom-like. Obviously, there were pictures of him around, but not as many clothes, toys, and other things Tom owned.

As it was gone ten in the evening, me and Dougie decided to go to bed ourselves, and so crawled into bed too, surrounding Danny's body with our own and curling in so we were all in a huddle. It reminded me so much of when Tom thought that Danny was cheating on him with us, when he had crawled into bed with us, needing some love. Or when Tom was still missing, I don't think Danny spent a week without crawling into bed with us at least once. At least we knew where Tom was right now, just not how he was feeling, or what he was doing, or anything like that. But, at least he was safe somewhere.

I waited until Dougie fell asleep first, and then let myself go to sleep too. We were asleep for hours, none of us waking up until morning. I had thought that Danny would have woken up after a few hours, but he stayed asleep. I guessed he was just so tired that the second he could fall asleep, half knowing that Tom was safe somewhere, no matter how subconscious it was, he managed to actually stay asleep. Hopefully seeing Tom today wouldn't completely freak him out or scare him half to death. And hopefully Tom wouldn't be too stressed out, or anything like that.

I dreaded waking Danny up in the morning, so I left it until midday, so he had enough sleep, and so he woke himself up. "Tommy, Tommy come closer, I wanna hug!" Danny whined, reaching out across the bed. He stopped suddenly, eyes opening slowly with a groan. "sorry Dan." I sighed, sitting back on the bed and holding his hand for support. "I know, he's not here." Danny whimpered, squeezing my hand, crawling to sit up and lean on me. "but we can see him today, thats good, isn't it?" I hugged him close, hating how worried Danny looked when I said that. He was so worried for poor Tom, all of us were. I was really starting to hope that Tom was settling in well and was getting used to where he was, or it would kill all of us. It would make it even harder to walk away, to know Tom wasn't coping at all with his situation, and that we had to just leave him there and hope he would get used to it.

I broke myself from thinking about that and pushed us all to go get ready, before getting in the car and driving off to the hospital, hoping to god that Tom was okay.

4 Dougie's POV

I hid between Harry and Danny as we almost crept into the hospital, clinging to my husbands side like it would stop anything bad happening. I could feel myself shaking, this place was huge and scary, all the walls were plain white, and there wasn't a speck of dust anywhere, there were no pictures on the walls, and all the doors and windows had metal bars on them. We had honestly sent Tom here? He was actually staying _here? _It was like a prison, only more clinical! This was the first time I had seen this place, it scared the living daylights out of me, who knew what it did to poor Tom! Finally, we reached Tom's room, room 128, and slowly pushed open the door, terrified of what we would find in there...

We found nothing. Tom wasn't in here, the room was empty. The sheets were a little messed up, and there were some of Tom's clothes on the floor, along with some of his other belongings, but there was no actual Tom. "Tom? Are you in here at all?" Danny called, stepping into the room hesitantly. He got no reply, which made him look so much more worried. "Tom, answer me. Its Danny, are you here?" Danny called again, as footsteps came down the corridor. I turned round, seeing Tom walking down the corridor, he was looking down at the floor, shying away from the man with him slightly, looking a bit scared of him. "Tom!" we all shouted at the same time, running towards him and hugging him.

"Danny!" Tom grinned and brightened up within seconds, grabbing Danny close. "its me Tommy, I'm here." Danny managed to relax himself, saying the words more to himself. "you were late to bed last night!" Tom told him, he hadn't realised where he was yet, had he? D*mn it. "was I? Sorry, I didn't realise, but I'm here now, and thats what matters, right?" Danny smiled, stroking Tom's hair gently, bringing him close again, "how was your night last night then?" he continued. "it was okay. These men kept on talking to me though." Tom pointed to the man who had brought him down the corridor, I assumed he was in charge of Tom's care or something. "ah, okay then. Well they're supposed to be talking to you, and you need to answer them, alright? You need to talk to them and answer their questions." Danny relaxed a little more, probably thankful that Tom didn't seem to have had a bad night.

"okay... I'm not sick, am I?" Tom bit his lip, now looking awkward. "huh? No, of course not! You're perfectly fine Tommy." Danny shook his head, panic starting to invade his features. "then...why am I in hospital?" okay, maybe Tom had sort of clicked on to what was happening. "erm... I'm not sure I should be the one to answer that. Just, don't think about it, alright?" Danny paled, bringing Tom forward to lay his head on his shoulder. But Tom still had questions he wanted answered, he knew something wasn't right. "when am I coming home? That man said this was my home now, why is this home now? Why is the bed too small for us both? Why is everything bright white? Why does it smell funny? Why did you miss bed time last night?" were just some of the questions Tom had, some quite silly and some that were painful to here. Tom sounded scared when asking why the 'strange man' told him that this was his home now, and why we couldn't tell him when he was coming home. It hurt so much to hear him ask those things and be so worried about it. Tom was verging on figuring out what was happening, but still didn't know exactly what was happening to him. I didn't want to tell him though, it would break his heart into pieces. I couldn't sit here and listen to Tom's questions, for us to just try and change the subject, distract him from the situation. It shouldn't have been that hard to distract him, but it was, for once, Tom had his head set on something and he wasn't taking no for an answer.

"tell me please! I don't... I'm scared, whats happening to me?!" Tom pleaded, with the biggest set of puppy eyes he had ever used, he looked so close to tears. "nothing's happening to you Tommy, nothing. You're here because...because you need to be. Its hard to explain properly, but, you're here because you need some help." Danny explained to Tom what was happening, in the kindest way possible. "they're just going to help you feel happy again, you want to be happy, don't you?" Danny whispered, stroking Tom's face and wiping away the tears falling. "b-but I am happy." Tom was shaking, his voice quivering madly. "I know, but, you're not..._totally _happy, are you? You know that there's things wrong, don't you? You're here to make that better, so you're happy, really, really happy." Danny explained, kissing Tom's hair, joining his boyfriend in tears.


	4. Chapter 4

**LittleLouiseeee - *hands Tom over for a hug* xD**

* * *

5 Tom's POV

But, I was happy! I always felt happy! I sometimes felt sad, but not all the time! Everyone got sad sometimes, why did I have to be here just because I got sad sometimes?! "I-I am happy! I am happy!" I cried, I was happy! I promise, I was happy! "oh Tommy, I wish I could explain to you properly, I really do. But trust me when I say, its for the best, honestly its for the best. I'm so sorry." Danny wiped away the water on my cheeks. _Its a plan to keep you away from everyone. They want you gone. _I didn't understand, why did they want me gone? "baby we don't want you gone! This is a good thing, for you, to make you feel better. I promise, thats all. I love you so much, we're doing this to make you happy." Danny shook his head, pressing his face to mine. _He's lying! _

But I didn't understand! Why was this lies? I felt good, I didn't need to be any better, did I? _You do, you're sick in the head. And you're a pain, just there, annoying people. _I wasn't annoying, was I? How was I annoying, I didn't do anything! _Exactly, you sit there and don't move. How annoying is that? And then of course, you start hitting. I told you it would get too much for Danny, didn't I? _But I was sorry! I didn't mean to hit anyone! I promise, I didn't mean it! "I-I didn't, I d-didn't mean to hit you. I-I'm sorry!" I didn't like it here, it scared me! I wanted to go home, I promised to be good if I went home right now! I told Danny that too, but he didn't listen, he said I had to stay!

"please! Let me go home!" I begged, looking at all of my friends, why didn't they want me to go home? _They don't want you to go home. _"we can't, not yet Tommy. I'm so sorry. But its going to be over soon, I promise. This'll all be over soon, once you're better, and then you'll come home, and it'll be okay. We'll all be together, and it'll be alright again, I promise. We'll put this all behind us and carry on like normal." Danny promised, his hand running down my face. I grabbed it, not wanting this to be happening, I wanted to go home! I wanted to go home and cuddle up in bed, this bed was too small, people tried to talk to me here, asked me weird questions. The man from earlier had been asking me about how I felt, and asked me to tell him what some weird objects were, he didn't like that I couldn't name things like the squishy thing I had sat on. He gave me disappointed looks, I didn't like disappointing people. _You've disappointed Danny, thats why you're here. _

"boys, its time for you to leave." The man came into the room, what?! Why were they leaving? Couldn't they stay? They hadn't been here that long! "what? Don't make us go yet, please." Danny looked up at him, hugging me close. "you've been here for the full time given for visiting hours. Its time for you to leave. You still have a phone call later on if you want." The doctor pushed his glasses up his nose, he didn't look like he cared at all! I didn't want him to make Danny and the others leave! I missed them, why couldn't Danny stay too?! Why was the I only one who had to stay?!

"Danny, don't leave, please." I grabbed at his shirt, I missed him so much when he wasn't here. I couldn't sleep without him, I didn't sleep last night until someone came in and made me take some more vitamins. "I have to, I'm so sorry Tommy, I am so sorry. But I have to go. I wish I didn't, but I have to. Doctor Head says I have to. But I'll be back tomorrow, I promise. Is there anything you need me to bring for you?" Danny asked, _razor blades. _Why would I need them? _For punishment. _"you! I want you!" I just wanted Danny, not the razor things the stupid person said. He made me feel good, he gave me hugs when I wanted them, and I couldn't sleep or eat without him! I was so hungry, no-one had given me my meals, they had just left me with the plates! And I couldn't sleep without hearing his weird sounds he made as he slept! I needed his hugs, his weird sounds, his voice, I needed him!

"I'm sorry, I can't give you me, but I can bring you things like toys to cuddle, where's James? You still have him don't you?" Danny grabbed James off the edge of the bed, giving him to me, "James will keep you company, alright? And remember why he is special, that should make you feel better. Now we really have to go Tommy, I am so sorry." Danny hugged me, then half let me go so I could hug my other friends, the both of them were crying. Danny was crying too, so was I, if we were all sad, why couldn't everyone stay? If I had to stay because I was sad, why didn't everyone else? It wasn't fair!

"I'm so sorry Tommy, so, so sorry. But we have to go now, I love you so much, I really do. We'll bring Carrie with us tomorrow, alright? She was busy today but she'll come tomorrow too, I'm sorry we have to leave so early. Be good for me, listen to the doctors and try to do as they say. I love you." Danny pressed his lips to mine again, hugging me so tightly, before he got up and went with our other friends. He just left me, on my own, no-one to wipe away the water falling from my eyes, no-one to hold or talk to either. _Told you he would leave soon, didn't I?_

6 Danny's POV

Half way down the corridor I could still hear Tom crying helplessly, he was so upset, he barely had any idea why he was here and why he couldn't come home. It broke my heart, I couldn't just walk off like this, could I? I had to go back and make him feel better, I was the only one who made him get better, no matter how bad it got, I was always made Tom feel better. I couldn't just keep on walking, I had to go back.

Before we reached the doors, I doubled back, running back into Tom's room, ignoring the shouts for me to come back. Tom was in my arms in seconds, right where he belonged and should have been for the past 48 hours. "its okay Tommy, I'm here. Shhh." I whispered, kissing Tom's hair gently. "d-don't leave m-me please!" Tom cried, grabbing hold of me. "I won't leave you forever Tommy, I promise. I'll see you as much as I can, and talk to you as much as possible too. And when its time, we'll go home together." I promised, kissing Tom's hair over and over, rubbing his arm gently.

"I-I want go home now!" Tom cried, clinging to me helplessly, tears falling down his face faster than a waterfall. "I know you do, but, its not possible right now. Maybe in a few weeks, when you're feeling better, yeah?" I knew for a fact that this wasn't going to take 'a few weeks' this was going to take months. To get Tom to become the functioning human being who could feed and look after himself, and not feel so down about his weight/looks/personality/everything that made him, him, it was going to take months. But I had to give Tom some sort of hope, didn't I? I couldn't just say to him that he wasn't going home for months and he was just going to have to get used to it. That would kill him, I had to be nicer than that, even though it was lying. "b-but I don't like it here!" Tom shook his head, curling up in my arms and hiding away. "why not baby? Whats bothering you here?" I asked, wondering if I could fix any of it as Harry and Dougie came in and held onto Tom too.

"its-its-its scary! Bright and cold, there's no cuddles, no you! My tummy is rumbling!" Tom explained, holding onto his stomach as it rumbled loudly. It sounded like he hadn't eaten since yesterday! But hadn't the staff been feeding him?! Wait, did they know that they had to actually physically feed Tom, is that why he was so hungry? "we have given him food, he just doesn't seem to eat it. Weren't you guys supposed to be gone by now?" Doctor Head gave us a disapproving look. "I told you that you needed to feed him! And I couldn't just leave, knowing he was crying!" why didn't he remember about the feeding thing? I started to feel like this wasn't the right place for Tom, they weren't remembering how to treat him. "alright, well we'll get right on that as soon as you leave." Anthony held open the door for us, Tom made a sound of protest, grabbing hold of me and refusing to let me go.

"please, let me stay today, just to get Tom settled in, please." I didn't want to leave, not without Tom in tow. I couldn't just leave knowing he wasn't being fed or treated properly, leave him scared and alone here. I wanted to make sure that Tom was alright first, make sure he was settled in properly, so I knew I could leave him here and trust that he wouldn't fall to pieces. "it could be an observation thing! To see how Tom usually behaves!" Harry supplied for me...that was a good idea! "yeah! It'll be an observation thing!" I nodded, Dougie nodded beside me, Tom just hiding in my chest, tears still rolling down his face. "alright, just for a couple of days, so I can get an idea of how Tom is, then you're going home." The doctor agreed, I sighed in relief. Thank god for that!


	5. Chapter 5

**LittleLouiseeee - he may be a bit happier with Danny there, but we'll have to see about that! ;)**

* * *

7 Tom's POV

"hear that Tommy? I'm staying for a couple of days, I'm not leaving you." Danny said really quietly, rubbing my arm gently. "you're not?" I looked up at him, hoping that he wasn't lying. "nope, I'm not going anywhere, I'm staying here with you for a couple of days." Danny smiled, not letting go of me at all. "alright, now the rest of you need to go, we can't keep all four of you here." The mean doctor said, meaning our friends. "alright, bye Tom, we'll see you tomorrow." The bigger one of our friends hugged me, I hugged him back, and then hugged my yellow haired friend. "bye guys." Danny hugged them too, sitting on the bed with me and watching them walk away.

"better now Tommy?" Danny asked, pressing his face into mine, pulling me closer to him. _He's only doing this because you cried._ "yeah! I missed you!" I grabbed hold of him, I had missed him so much. I knew Danny missed me too, he always missed me when he walked away from me. "I missed you too baby, I missed you so much." Danny squeezed my middle, "right, you said you were hungry didn't you? Shall we sort that out?" I nodded, my tummy was grumbling really loudly and I didn't like it much. It hurt a little now, it made me feel all wobbly. _Good, it should hurt. _"good, doctor, any chance we could have some food? Tommy hasn't had anything for a while!" Danny tickled my side, I made a squealing sound, wriggling away. "alright, if you would follow me to the canteen we can sort out something. Tom hasn't been shown round the facility yet." The doctor lead us round the corridor, until we got to a big room, filled with tables. There were a few people in here, all of them had smart clothes on, like the doctor with us was wearing. They turned to stare at us when we came in.

"this is obviously the canteen, there's a lot of food here to choose from. So Tom, would you like to choose what you would like today?" the doctor pointed to a really big window, that had no glass in, people were on the other side, behind a whole load of glass boxes with light in, and there was food in there too. My tummy growled like a lion at me. _Pick a little thing, don't have too much. _Why not? I was really hungry! _Its not good, thats why. _I looked up at Danny, he knew what was good, he could choose, right? "go on Tommy, pick whatever you like. Look, there's some chocolate there, or do you want a meal, like this chicken and roast potatoes?" Danny showed me the things in offer. Well, he seemed to think it was okay to have something big, I really was hungry.

"can I have the chicken?" I asked him, just making sure. "of course you can, no need to ask me, its up to you." Danny smiled, pressing his lips to my head again, taking the plate from the person who served it up and taking me to a table. "did this happen yesterday when you got hungry?" Danny asked, I shook my head. Some man grabbed me and pulled me here, and I didn't know what to have, so he chose for me, and then he watched me sit in front of the plate with no idea how to eat it. I couldn't use knives and forks well, it didn't work properly, and I couldn't put my hands near my mouth. Something stopped me, it felt like I couldn't, like something was going to be there and I didn't want to know if there was something there or not. I told Danny that, he looked worried about it, but told me that the people here didn't know that I needed help, and they knew now so they would help me like he did.

"aren't you hungry?" I asked, because Danny didn't have anything for himself. "no, not yet. I've got some chocolate, I'll be fine with that." Danny smiled, finishing giving me the last bit of chicken, stopping my tummy rumbling at me. _Say thank you then. You've kept him here, better thank him. _"thanks." I hugged him close, getting a big hug back. "no worries Tom, anything for you, you know that." Danny squeezed me again, before leading me with him as he followed the doctor around the rest of the hospital. He showed us a room with a big screen in it, where other people without smart clothes were in. They were weird, one was walking round and round in circles until they fell over, another few were sat staring at the ceiling, another was rocking back and forth on the floor. All of them were doing weird things, I didn't like them, they scared me. There was another room like that one, and it was filled with people doing weird things again, one of them gave me a bad look! A really, really bad look! She stared right at me and gave me a horrible look, even though I hadn't done anything to her! _She hates you. _Why? I had only looked at her! I hid behind Danny, not liking the mean lady.

"its alright Tommy, lets just move on, alright? Move somewhere else that you'll like." Danny pulled me away, down to an art room. I liked this room, there were lots of painting things in here, I liked drawing! And there was a music room, like the one I had in our house! Only this was bigger! It was really, really big! There were guitars and pianos and drums in here! I could play all of them I think! Or at least our friends could! "aw, you like this room don't you?" Danny smiled, I nodded, I liked music a lot! "thats good, see, this is place isn't too bad, now is it?" Danny picked me up, carrying me back to my room. "I'll leave you to it for a while, see you boys later." The doctor left us alone, closing the door, leaving us to hug each other close and forget where we were.

8 Danny's POV

I sighed in relief to know that Tom was settling in a little bit more now, but I couldn't help but think it was because I was here. Tom was always more relaxed when I was with him, I didn't know if it was just my influence or if he was getting more used to the idea of being here. I really, really hoped that Tom was getting used to being here now, and not just relaxing because I was with him. Though, either way, it was nice to have Tom in my arms again, knowing that he was safe and being looked after properly.

It was calming to hear Tom's breathing, as he rested against my chest, his head under my chin, looking out the window. It was so calming at the moment to hear his breathing, feel his warmth radiating onto my chest, his hands squeezing mine. I loved to do things like this, sitting here and just being ourselves, not even needing words, we were just happy to hold each other. Hopefully I would get more of this, when Tom was better, when we got home.

"why are there metal strips on the windows?" Tom suddenly asked, reaching out and tracing the bar on the window with his finger. It snapped me completely from my happy moment, but, I guess it that was a genuine question that needed an answer. "its because its an old building, they all had bars on then." I lied, not wanting Tom to know it was because it stopped people escaping. "oh... I thought it was like in Harry Potter where they didn't want Harry to go anywhere. Do you think a flying car would pull them off?" Tom mumbled, maybe he had more of an idea of his surroundings than I gave him credit for. "yeah, maybe. Don't get any ideas though." I teased, poking his side playfully. Tom giggled, pushing my hand away, before pulling it around his waist and cuddling into my chest. "no ideas, don't worry." Tom smiled a heavenly smile, his hand placed on my arm so delicately. "good, no worrying me by trying to run off, or escape. That wont be very nice." I kissed Tom's hair gently, pressing my nose into the same spot.

"okay." Tom nodded, grabbing hold of my hand. "boys, its dinner time for the rest of the patients, I think it would do you some good to come down with me now." Doctor Head came in suddenly, making us go with him again. I sighed, knowing already that Tom didn't like the other patients. He showed it by hiding behind me as we got closer to the canteen, moving so he was completely behind me, clinging to my shirt. "shhh, its alright, they won't go near you." I turned round and whispered in his ear, hugging him close. "scary people." Tom whimpered, hiding in my chest. "they won't come near you, don't worry. It'll be fine, deep breaths, alright?" I kissed him gently, rubbing his back. "is there a problem?" Doctor Head asked, coming back to us. "no, its fine. We're all good, you just don't like being in crowded places, do you Tommy?" I lied a little, letting Tom nod gently, "ready to go in now?" I ran a hand over Tom's face, waiting for him to nod. "good boy. This won't take long." I promised, making sure Tom's meal went quickly, as far away from other patients as we could get. They didn't bother us at all, some gave us some weird looks, especially some woman, but I ignored that and kept Tom focused on me so he didn't notice either.

We cuddled up in Tom's room again until bedtime, going back to the normal routine we had grown to love. I laid down with my boyfriend (slightly awkwardly, the bed was a little small) resting his head on my chest, wrapping him up in the duvet, talking quietly to him. "I love you Tommy, I'm not going to let you go." I promised, gently tracing patterns over Tom's back. "I like you too." Tom answered quietly, shivering at my hand movements, "don't leave me here alone." He whispered. "I won't, I promise, I won't." I winced slightly, wishing I didn't have to lie to him. "thank you." Tom smiled, relaxing against me and started to snore, signalling that he was asleep. Safe and sound at last, hopefully he would manage to stay like this.


	6. Chapter 6

**LittleLouiseeee - well we'll see how Danny changes Tom's experience of the ward ;)**

* * *

9 Harry's POV

Dougie seemed to be calmed by the fact that Danny was staying with Tom, and managed to relax a bit that evening. He was still worried, but not as worried as he had been. "do you think they'll keep Danny in as well if they realise that he's not well?" Dougie asked, looking up at me, breaking the quiet that had been surrounding us. "I don't know, maybe. But would that really be a bad thing? For the both of them to get some help and be happy again." I answered, not sure if it would be a bad thing or not. "and Danny would be there to keep Tom safe the whole time." Dougie continued, sliding down the sofa to lean on me a little more.

"exactly, now stop worrying. Tom and Danny are safe and together, neither of them are going to be hurt." I kissed Dougie's head gently, squeezing his hand gently. "I hope so." Dougie whispered, curling a little closer to me, resting his head on my chest, his hand slipping under my shirt to rest on my muscled abdomen. "they will be, you'll see." I promised, wrapping his little body into my arms, knowing how worried he was. Dougie hadn't been looking forward to this at all, he hadn't exactly hated the idea, he just didn't like the idea of not having Tom around all the time. So to have him out of sight completely, in an unfamiliar place wasn't exactly the best situation, but at least Danny was there for a while, to make things better. I squeezed Dougie close, trying to make him feel better.

"can we go to bed now? I feel tired." Dougie asked, yawning a little. "yeah, if you want. Its been a long day." I sighed, taking Dougie upstairs, but when he got into bed, he couldn't sleep. "it doesn't feel right! I miss Tom, and Danny!" Dougie offered as explanation, he looked so upset, it broke my heart into pieces. "I'm sorry Dougie, I'm sorry...wait, where did Tom's old tshirt you borrowed go?" I asked, noticing that Dougie wasn't wearing it. "it stopped smelling Tom like." Dougie pouted slightly. "want to go get another one then, and maybe get something of Danny's too while we're at it?" I suggested, secretly wanting Dougie to agree, I couldn't sleep, I hoped being able to smell some of my friends stuff would help. It usually helped when I had a tshirt or hoodie of Dougie's with me when we got separated for signings or whatever else we had to do. I found I could never sleep without at least being able to have a little something of Dougie with me.

"okay, if you think they won't mind...and Carrie won't either." Dougie bit at his lip, looking shy and sheepish again. "nah, we'll be fine I'm sure. Come on." I pulled on some trousers and a hoodie, pulling Dougie down the road once he had done the same. "hey guys, whats up?" Carrie answered the door, dressed in her pyjamas, and one of Tom's Star Wars tshirt. "er, we were wondering if we could borrow some of Tom and Danny's stuff, we can't sleep." I could feel myself blush in embarrassment. It hadn't felt silly when we asked Danny while Tom was away, but with Carrie, it felt a little weird, I had no idea why. "yeah sure, take whatever you want. You miss them as much as I do?" Carrie sighed, pulling on her top a little. "yeah...wanna come with us tomorrow? Tom misses you too, I think it'll cheer him up to see you." I asked, letting Dougie run madly upstairs for whatever he wanted. "yeah, I'll come!" Carrie grinned as Dougie ran back downstairs, wearing a hoodie that both Tom and Danny had worn recently. "got everything Doug's?" I pulled the sleeves up so Dougie's small hands could be seen. "yep! All good!" Dougie held my hands, wrapping my arms around him. "good. We'll pick you up around 10 tomorrow if thats alright." I turned to Carrie, stroking Dougie's hair affectionately. "yeah, thats fine. I'll be here, as always." Carrie smiled, so we went back to ours, finding that Dougie had also stolen a tshirt that Tom and Danny had shared on occasion.

"you think you can sleep now?" I asked, laying us down in bed, tucking us in under the duvet. "yeah, I think so. Night Harry, thanks for letting us go and get stuff, I love you." Dougie curled up to me, hiding in my arms. "I love you too and its no problem, I know you like feeling safe before you go to sleep." I kissed his hair, tracing patterns over Dougie's back gently. "thanks anyway. Night." Dougie sighed, doing one more movement to get closer to me before falling asleep, practically on top of me. "night Dougie." I squeezed him one more time, before falling asleep myself.

10 Dougie's POV

I managed to sleep like a baby the whole night through once I had Tom and Danny's tshirt and jumper with me, and so did Harry, so we managed to pull ourselves out of bed and get to the hospital with Carrie a little early. We had to sit and wait for Tom's 'session' was finished, it wasn't too bad really, it gave us a chance to explore the room a little. It wasn't what you would expect of a room in a psychiatric ward, I mean, the bed was uncomfortable and there were bars on the windows, and the door, which had a little hatch inside it too, for whatever reason. But the actual room itself wasn't too bad. There was an en suite bathroom, and a walk in wardrobe, a TV on the wall, with built in DVD player, an iPod dock (Toms iPod already plugged into it) and a book shelf, with a few of Tom's books already on there. Obviously Danny had been busy setting things up for his boyfriend at some point.

It didn't really take long for Tom and Danny to turn up, they looked reasonably happy, not like they had had a stressful night or anything. "hey guys." Danny grinned first, letting Tom run forward into Carrie's arms. "heya Tom! I missed you too!" Carrie wrapped her arms around her brothers neck, pressing close, smiling widely. "I missed you loads!" Tom grinned almost madly, rocking from side to side playfully. "aw, well, Harry and Dougie have missed you loads too." Danny reminded him, and we were all of a sudden attacked into a massive Tom hug. "hey Tom, its nice to see you too." Harry laughed a little, I just pressed closer to Tom, I had missed him so much. Words couldn't describe how much I missed Tom, I hadn't realised how hard this would be. To know that Tom wasn't within walking distance, but also wasn't on holiday, it was horrible. I liked being safe in the knowledge that the three people I relied on the most were all within walking distance of me, not having that scared me, because I had no idea what they were doing, whether they were okay, or anything! I liked knowing that my friends were safe, it made me feel better, safer in myself.

Finally, we let go and fell to sit on the bed together, going through the necessary questions, about how Tom and Danny's night went, was Tom feeling any better today, did he like this place any better now that he had had an exploration with Danny? "last night went well, didn't it? We found the art room and the music room, didn't we? That was good, to find something to do when you have free time." Danny explained, running his fingers gently over Tom's side. "yeah, but I like it here." Tom mumbled, clambering onto Danny's lap, I felt my hope start to build, hoping Tom meant that he liked this place now.

"you mean you like it in this room, or being in this whole place?" I asked first, reaching out to hold Tom's hand gently. "this room." Tom answered, wriggling around on Danny's lap until he got comfy. My hope shattered again, well, at least he liked something. "well, at least thats something. So anyway, anything you wanna do today?" Danny asked, pushing Tom's hair so it was ordered on his head. Tom paused for a few seconds, then shrugged, turning to look around the room, his rocking starting up again. "Tom, why don't you show me around a bit, I would like to see the art room." Carrie stood up, holding her hand out for Tom to take. "no! Danny!" Tom whined, backing into Danny's hold. "alright, maybe not, sorry Tom, we don't have to go anywhere if you don't want to. I was just suggesting something to do." Carrie explained, crouching in front of her brother. "Danny, want to stay with Danny!" Tom shook his head, curling into Danny's arms even more, clinging to him. "okay, okay, don't worry, I'm not going anywhere Tommy, you don't have to go either." Danny whispered, kissing his boyfriends hair.

"we'll stay here if you want Tom, don't worry, we don't have to go anywhere." Harry joined in, shuffling us closer. "no going places! Strange people, don't like them, not going anywhere!" Tom whimpered, curling into Danny so much it was impossible to get any closer. "alright, we'll stay here then, we won't go near the other people. Though they're not strange, they're just...a little different." Danny sighed, starting to rock his boyfriend back and forth slightly. "don't like them." Tom whimpered, I now started to dread the day the doctors would tell Danny he had to go home. If Tom didn't even like going out the room, even with Carrie, I dreaded to think what was going to happen when we all just to leave him on his own completely. "sorry Tommy, I know you don't like them. But you have to get used to the others, and going places without me." Danny looked like he was expecting a fight, I was too. "not today! You're staying!" Tom gripped even harder onto Danny's shoulders, refusing to let go of him.


	7. Chapter 7

**LittleLouiseeee - well, we'll see how these things pan out ;)**

**monkeywaiters - we'll see how Tom's sessions go and how he interacts with other patients soon, wait and see! ;) and thank you SO much for being so enthusiastic, i've come home from a long, boring day at school and your enthusiasm and compliments have just put a massive smile on my face! and i shall try to update as often as i can, so you're not kept in suspense for too long!**

* * *

11 Danny's POV

"yeah, I know. I'm staying today." I hoped I would be staying today, Tom was going to go mental if I had to leave today. "please, don't go today." Tom whispered, grabbing hold of me and pushing into my chest. "I'll do my best for you." I promised, managed to calm Tom down a little. Was it bad that I thought that he looked so cute as he pouted with the big puppy eyes he always used? He just looked so cute, like a lost little boy who just wanted a cuddle from his mum, or his boyfriend because I was closer to him right now.

"hello boys, Danny, can I talk to you for a minute?" Doctor Head came in, Tom tensed. "don't go, please don't go!" Tom whimpered, grabbing onto me tightly. "sorry Tommy, I'll only be a minute. I'll stand by the door, alright? So you can see me." I promised, kissing Tom's hair gently, hoping to god this doctor wasn't about to send me home. I was half tempted to tell him about my self harm so I could stay, but I clearly hadn't done anything in a few weeks, so there would be no point. "no, please!" Tom grabbed hold of me, looking so scared. "don't worry, I'll only out there. Harry, Dougie and Carrie are here to look after you, I'll only be a minute." I promised, setting Tom down between Harry and Dougie, gulping and going over to the doctor.

"we've decided on a treatment plan, and I thought it was a good idea to go through it with you. What we're doing is giving him some different medications, to try and see if we can get his brain working a little more. At the same time, we're going to try and make him more dependant, by teaching him to do things by himself. Also, we'll try to work on his speech, to get him talking more. Then, we'll see what we have left to treat. I will warn you, this isn't going to be quick, it'll take quite a while to get Tom better." He explained, I gulped again. "don't push him too far though, please. Or hurt him, please be gentle!" I could just imagine in my head the staff forcing Tom into doing things he wasn't ready for and working him into a state. I shuddered, I hated that thought. "we'll try our best, so do you agree to this treatment?" Doctor Head asked, I nodded a little, hating myself again. I didn't want Tom to be scared and forced into things, but he did need it, to get better. I would be allowed here every day right? So I could make sure he would be okay and help him out, yeah, that would be fine.

I walked back to Tom, letting him jump into my arms and cuddle me. "told you I would be back, didn't I?" I sighed, trying not to think about making Tom so scared, just to make him better. "Thomas, its time for you to take these." A nurse came in, carrying a cup of water and a couple of pills. The doctors must have decided on Tom's medication too then, I sighed, hating how Tom was now starting to get his proper treatment, so I couldn't change anything now. Tom looked to me, like I knew what to do. "go on, take them. Its alright." I encouraged, wishing Tom didn't look to me like he was silently asking my permission to do things. Tom looked a little worried, but, he managed to swallow them once I gave them to him, mumbling something about being a good boy. "you're a very good boy Tommy. Always have been." I kissed his hair, wanting to know what was now going on in Tom's head, what this medication was going to do to him.

I didn't see any sort of improvement at all with Tom, he just carried on like normal, curling up in my arms, playing with my fingers. He didn't really seem to be in the room with us, just sat there, twisting my fingers around and doing whatever else he was doing. It seemed to keep him entertained, though there was no sign of improvement as such. But I guessed that would happen when Tom started proper therapy, today was more about discussing what we had been doing for the past couple of months, to see where to apparently start with Tom.

12 Tom's POV

Everyone left a little bit later, I missed them already, I liked having everyone here. It felt like home when everyone was here. At least I still had Danny, so I still had someone, and a really nice someone too. "alright Tommy?" Danny asked, I nodded, pressing into his chest, it wasn't as soft as usual. But it was still nice to lay on, I liked laying on Danny, I felt safe. "good...so do you feel a little better about being here now Tommy?" Danny asked again. I didn't know. It felt better with Danny here, but, the other people here were weird. I didn't like them, they did weird things. It scared me when they did weird things. "hey, I asked you something. Do you feel a little better about being here?" Danny repeated, I shrugged. I didn't like the people, and the man that told us to do things was weird. I didn't like him either. But, I liked the music and art rooms, they were nice.

"the people are weird." I said, I didn't know how else to say it. They were just...weird. Some screamed at nothing, and cried at nothing...they talked to themselves. I didn't like them. "ah, well you don't have to spend much time with them, only meal times, and maybe share the art or music rooms with them if you go in there with them. Thats all, not too bad is it?" Danny promised, pressing his lips to my cheek again. "okay. What about the doctor?" I didn't want to spend time with him either. He didn't like me much, and asked weird questions and said things that I didn't understand. "what about him?" Danny asked, his hand going up and down on my side. "he's weird too. I don't like him." I looked up at the door, checking he wasn't there. "well you only have to spend about an hour a day with him I think. And he'll only come and get you when he needs you to do something. So its not that long either." Danny answered, I hoped so.

"so, anything else bothering you here?" Danny asked, I shook my head. "good, thats good. I'm glad about that." Danny squeezed me close, moving so he was leaning on the wall with me. He hugged me close for ages, holding me close to his chest so I couldn't move much. I didn't mind, I liked hugging that close, it was comfy. I drifted off to sleep in his arms, not waking up until dinner. We had some sort of pie I think, and then we went back to our room, hiding away from the other people here. One of them was still glaring at me, I didn't like that person at all. "she's ill Tommy, she doesn't mean it." Danny told me, hugging me close to him until I stopped thinking about her.

"hello, its time for bed, do you think you'll be able to go to sleep naturally?" another person came in. What did she mean by that? "yeah, yeah we will." Danny smiled at her a little, I was confused. She walked off and closed the door, it made a clicking sound, and the little door also closed. Why did that happen? "well I think its time you went to sleep Tommy, we have another long day tomorrow, its way past your normal bed time!" Danny laid down on the small bed, pulling me with him. "what did she mean? And why did the door click?" I asked, I didn't understand why the door clicked or what she meant! "she was asking if you needed any help sleeping, so I told her that you wouldn't. The door clicked because it was closing, so no-one can get in here while we're in here." Danny answered, oh, that made sense. "okay, are we going to sleep now?" I put my head on his chest again. "yeah, its time for bed." Danny nodded, pulling the blankets over us and cuddling me close. I fell asleep on his chest quickly, hearing him make his funny sleeping noises like he always did.

I woke up when the sun was outside our window, and we were told to go down and get breakfast, and then go to the doctors office again. We ran down there quickly, like we always did, hiding from everyone else. Though Danny had to stay outside, which wasn't fair. "hello Tom, there's someone I want you to meet. This is Doctor Andrew Scott, he is going to be looking after you for the rest of your time here." Doctor Head told me, I looked up at this new man. He had black hair, and dark eyes, he was in a suit. I didn't like him. "hello Tom, is it okay I call you Tom?" he asked, I nodded, he wasn't calling me Tommy, that was Danny's name for me. "okay, is it alright if I ask you a few questions today? And in turn, you can ask me a few things too if you feel the need to?" he sat down at the desk, starting to write things down.

I nodded a little, hugging my knees. I didn't like this man, I didn't trust him. "excellent, so, I want to start by asking you do you know why you're here?" the doctor looked at me, I looked away, I didn't want to look at him while he looked back at me. "I-I need to be happy. So I'm here, to be happy." I answered, thats what Danny told me. "alright, fair enough. Who is the guy outside who brought you here? Do you know him?" well that was a stupid question! "thats Danny, he's my boyfriend. He's staying with me." I told him, trying not to call him stupid. Doctor Head said something in the other doctors ear that I couldn't hear. "ahhh, alright. Okay, you have two friends that see you everyday too, don't you?" he continued. "three! Carrie and our friends!" how did they forget Carrie?! "three, of course, I was just testing you. What are your friends names?" er... I didn't know. They hadn't told me their names. "I don't know." I would ask them today their names, I wanted to know their names. "interesting. Whose that in your hands?" he wrote down a lot on the paper, looking at James. "James." I told him, hugging him tight. "is he your friend too?" he asked, I nodded.

"okay, one last question. Why do you have a key around your neck?" the doctor asked, writing some more things down. "Danny gave it to me cause its pretty. Its his." I grabbed it now, I didn't want it to be taken from me! "ah, thats sweet. Bit random, but sweet. Well I think I have enough to be working with for a little while. Any questions for me?" the man finished writing. I shook my head, I didn't have any questions. "alright, we'll I think I can let you go back to your Danny for a while." The man let me go, I ran into Danny's arms the second I saw him. "hey Tommy, how did that go then?" Danny hugged me tight, so I told him that there was a new person who was going to look after me. Though I didn't need looking after because Danny was here, so no-one else needed to look after me.

"alright, well the guys should be here soon so I think we should get ready, don't you?" Danny pulled me down to our room, helping me shower and get dressed into blue jeans that hugged my legs and the McFly hoodie. Our friends came with Carrie again a while later, I found out their names were Harry and Dougie. They looked a little weird when I asked them, but they told me anyway. I liked Harry and Dougie a lot, they were funny, and like me and Danny, always hugging and holding hands. They had rings on their fingers too, I wondered why.

We watched filmed and cuddled up together all day, hugging tight, until they had to go. "Danny, I need to talk to you for a second." The new doctor pulled Danny away again, he gulped loudly before went. "no! Not now, please, not today!" Danny almost shouted after the man finished talking to him. Harry, Dougie and Carrie all went very still when he shouted. "I'm sorry, we've let you stay for a few days. Tom's settled in, its time for you leave now." The doctor said, what?! Danny was leaving! But why?! I thought he was allowed to stay! I thought he was staying! "no!" I stood up, running into Danny's arms, holding onto him, I didn't want him to go anywhere! Bad things happened when he wasn't here! I didn't like it when he wasn't here! "please, let me stay, look what happens when I'm not here!" Danny begged, water started falling down my face and my chest went _thump thump _again! I didn't like it! I wanted Danny to stay here! "I'm sorry, we can't keep you here too. You'll start to disrupt Tom's recovery, and we don't want that, do we?" the doctor smiled weirdly, ignoring our begging. "please! Let Danny stay!" I cried, I needed him! He kept me safe! I wouldn't be safe without him! "just let him stay a few more days, look at poor Tom, he can't handle being alone." Harry... I think, hugged me, Dougie and Carrie holding onto me too. Danny was clinging to me like I was clinging to him, water falling down his face so fast.

"we've given you a few days together to get used to things, its time you left now." The doctor shook his head again, I hated him! I didn't want to be alone, I really didn't, I didn't like being on my own! I didn't like not being safe! Hospitals were bad places I didn't want to be on my own in one! "fine, give me a minute, alright? Tommy, I'm so sorry, I really am. But he isn't going to let me stay like last time. I'm so sorry, but I'm going to have to go. Now remember what I've told you, James is here to keep you safe, and do what these people tell you, you'll be fine, I promise. And I'll come back tomorrow, alright? I'll phone you tonight as well, so we can talk for a little while. I'm so sorry Tommy, I love you, I promise." Danny squeezed me close, pressing his lips to my face over and over. "don't go! You said! You said you wouldn't go!" I cried, Danny promised he wouldn't go! "I know, I know I said that, but they're making me. I'm so sorry Tommy. I'll be back tomorrow, I promise!" Danny squeezed me tight, a man came in, grabbing my arm. "don't go!" I begged, my chest tightening so much I couldn't breathe. "I have to baby. Breathe for me, it'll be okay. They won't hurt you, I promise. Just do as they say and it'll be fine." Danny pressed his lips to mine, making my stomach go all funny, before he went away, leaving me on my own again. Leaving me so, so scared.


	8. Chapter 8

**xxPUDDxx - its okay! welcome back to fan fiction land and congrats on finally getting an account! and i had to put him in at some point, i love that man and his portrayal of Moriaty! and we'll see what happens with the woman glaring at Tom, she may be important :P**

* * *

13 Harry's POV

"I hate them! I hate them! I hate them!" Danny cried helplessly into my chest, almost hitting me with each shout. "I know Dan, I know, but you know its for the best. We want Tom to get better, right?" I sighed, knowing how hard this was for Danny to leave and not turn back. It was hard enough for us to do it, I could barely imagine how hard it was for Danny to walk away from his lover, who he had spent the last few months practically glued to, and leave him in a place he was scared of, while he had no clue on how to look after himself.

"I hate them! They shouldn't, they shouldn't spring that on me! I should have had time to prepare Tom for me leaving, he's going to work himself up into a state now!" Danny worried, whimpering quietly into my chest, crying helplessly. "I know, they're stupid, but, its happened now. Tom's going to fine in a few days, once he gets used to being on his own." I sighed, I had no idea what else to say but the truth. "but he's not fine right now! I could go back in there and make him feel better! Why can't I go back?! Why don't they see that Tom needs me!" Danny whimpered, pressing into my chest almost painfully.

"I don't know, they just can't. But Tom does also need to learn to be on his own though, he needs to know how to be on his own too. He'll be fine in a few days, once he's used to it, I'm sure." I hugged Danny close, trying to calm him down so we could go home. We were still in the hospitals car park, thats as far as we had gotten before Danny burst into tears and just lost any type of composure he had left inside him. This had been building up for days, I could tell, the stress and the pure guilt for almost leading Tom along by making him think that Danny was staying must have been tearing him apart for days. I felt so sorry for him, he couldn't do anything right now to stop his boyfriends pain, and I knew how much Danny hated knowing Tom was in pain. "he's going to hate me, he's going to hate me so bad for leaving him!" Danny sniffed loudly, tears soaking my shirt, his hands clawing at me.

"Tom won't hate you Danny, I promise, he might be a little annoyed and scared for a while, but he's going to get used to it. Its Tom we're on about here, he's strong and he knows that you're coming back tomorrow. We can phone him later on tonight too, and make sure he's okay. Now come on, lets get in the car, Doug and Carrie will be back soon." I lead Danny to the car and got him in it, seeing Dougie and Carrie wander back over. I had sent them back into the ward to ask the receptionist about when we could phone and what things we could bring Tom that wouldn't be taken off us to distract them from Danny's crying. "we can bring food like cookies in, as long as they don't need to be cooked here before they're eaten, but no sharp objects or things that could be used to hurt yourself with. Also we can phone at seven tonight, so thats good." Carrie explained and got into the back of the car with Danny, giving him a hug straight away. "he's not good, is he?" Dougie came over to me, whispering quietly. "no, not at the moment. But we'll cheer him up tonight, alright?" I sighed, gently pressing a kiss to Dougie's forehead and giving him a squeeze, before letting him go and getting in the car, driving us home.

It was no better there really, Danny curled up on his sofa (in his own house) and whimpered helplessly to himself, scratching at his arms until they went bright red and painful looking. "Danny stop it, just calm down will you?" I pulled his hands away from each other, being careful to not squeeze too hard, in case I hurt his arm more. "I can't! Tom's scared and alone again! I have no idea what they're doing to him, I need to know that he's safe! He's my Tom, he needs to be safe!" Danny cried, diving into my arms again, clinging to me so tightly it almost hurt. "he's safe. Tom's probably watching TV in his room, or reading a book. Or he could be in the art or music room, doing the things he loves." I hugged him and checked the time, only five, d*mn it. It needed to hurry up to seven so we could talk to Tom and put Danny's mind to rest, before he completely lost it.

14 Dougie's POV

Danny worried endlessly until seven, then almost ran to the phone, phoning up the hospital the second the clock showed seven in the evening. "hello, can I speak to Tom Fletcher please? I'm his boyfriend, they said I could phone him now." Danny's voice shook a little, hiding in our arms before his shaking legs gave out from under him. It seemed like Tom literally kept Danny upright, he just fell to pieces without him. It was scary, Danny was the strong one of the lot of us, who usually let everything go straight over his head, or just ignored the negative things, without Tom, he couldn't ignore anything.

"put it on speaker." I told him, squeezing him that bit tighter, wanting to hear Tom's voice too. I felt a little wobbly without Tom myself, I was desperate to know he was alright. I wouldn't believe it until I either saw him or at least talked to him. The phone was put on speaker and we all crowded round it closer, the four of us hugging tightly. Danny was clinging to Carrie, probably thinking that she was the closest thing to Tom he was going to get right now. "Danny?!" Tom's voice came out of the phones speaker, he sounded confused. "hey Tommy! How are you doing? Is everything okay down there?" Danny breathed a huge sigh of relief, edging closer to the phone. "no, they're mean here! I don't like them, come back please!" Tom whimpered a little, I could just imagine him pouting sadly to himself.

"I can't come back until tomorrow Tommy, I'm sorry. Why are they mean?" Danny asked, gnawing on his lip. "they pull me everywhere, it hurts! And they pushed me to the floor when you left! They didn't let me move until the water stopped! It hurts Danny! I want a cuddle." Tom broke my heart, he sounded so upset at it, I could almost hear his wide kicked puppy eyes. "I'm so sorry Tom! I didn't know they would do that. I'm sorry, I'll give you a big hug when I see you tomorrow, alright?" Danny teared up a little, his hand scratching again, we all grabbed his hand away before he caused damage again.

"can you fix the ouchy stuff tomorrow too?" Tom asked. "I'll see what I can do." Danny smiled a little. "so apart from that, is everything okay?" Harry jumped in, there was silence for a few seconds on the end. "erm, yeah, I think." Tom answered, he didn't sound so sure of himself. "what have you been doing for the past of couples hours then?" Carrie joined in, somehow managing to hold both of Danny's hands and one of mine, and one of Harry's at the same time. "nothing, the TV was on, but there wasn't any cartoons." Tom sighed, he carried on answering our questions for a while longer, he sounded mostly alright, just in need of a good long hug and some friendly company.

"Danny, I have to go, my tummies growling and the man says I have to go." Tom suddenly said, Danny physically slumped a little. "alright, well, I'll see you later Tommy. Don't forget what I told you." Danny managed to keep up his light and happy tone he had been using for most of the conversation. "do as they say, I know." Tom sighed again. "good boy. I'll see you tomorrow alright? I love you." Danny sighed too. "I like you too." Tom replied, before the dial tone signalled the phone had been put down.

"only another fifteen hours until I get to see him again." Danny mumbled, mostly to himself I think. "its not that long Dan, you'll be sleeping for most of that." Harry encouraged, hugging the Northerner close. "yeah, if I can. Look, I'm going to go and write a song or something. I need to distract myself for a bit." Danny got out of Harry's arms, slumping off downstairs, the sound of a guitar playing starting to fill the house.


	9. Chapter 9

**LittleLouiseeee - haha, i can't spell that word either! and thank you! :D**

**monkeywaiters - i love him too! he makes a freaking AWESOME Moriarty! and thank you so much! i found the email with this comment this morning when i was on the way to school and you had me grinning like an idiot all the way on the bus! i'm really glad you like the little details that i've put in with the names and things! and i couldn't just let Tom and Danny be together all the time, that would be too nice of me as a writer ;) **

* * *

15 Tom's POV

"come on, its meal time, you need feeding." The man who had pulled me to the phone pulled me down a hallway by my arm. His hand was squeezing my bumps, it hurt! I didn't like being hurt, my arms already hurt, I didn't want more hurt! "owwy!" I told him, he didn't do anything. He just carried on pulling me through the hallway to the food room. My tummy grumbled and tightened at the same time. How was I going to eat without Danny here?

The man picked up a plate full of food without asking me what I wanted, pushing me onto a table in the middle of the room. I wanted to sit in a corner though! I didn't like being in the middle of the other people here, they were scary! "are you going to eat this or not?" the man asked in a mean voice. I couldn't, I didn't know how. I shook my head, why didn't he know about how I ate? Danny had told the doctors, why didn't this man know too? "Tom's a special case, didn't you get told about how Tom is fed?" my doctor turned up, putting his hands on my shoulders. I wriggled out of his hands, I wanted a hug, but not from him. I wanted Danny's hugs right now, or Carrie's, or our friends, no-one else.

"no, what do I have to do?" the man was told about me, he looked annoyed at it. _He is annoyed. You can't even feed yourself. _Oh, I didn't mean to, I just, didn't know how to eat. The knives and forks confused me, and my hands couldn't go near my mouth, I felt like there something there. I didn't know what, but there was something there when my hands went near my mouth, I couldn't see it, and no-one else could either...but it was there. _Thats just weak and stupid. _Sorry, I couldn't help it. _You've annoyed this guy now, and probably annoyed Danny for making him do this to you too for so long. _But, I thought Danny didn't mind! _Thats what he told you, he could have lied. _I hoped he hadn't, I didn't want to make him annoyed.

I pushed the fork away from me as the man who was sat with me came near my mouth. My tummy had stopped grumbling now, and I didn't want to annoy this man. He was big and scary too, I didn't want him to hurt me. "come on, just eat it will you?" he looked even more annoyed, _good job. _But, I wasn't hungry anymore, I didn't want to bother him anymore. I wanted to go back to my room, so I couldn't annoy anyone. _Like you normally do? _No, I didn't annoy Danny, I know I didn't. I would have been able to tell if I was annoying him, I was just annoying everyone else here. "come on, I've seen you before, you've not had a problem with eating before. Just accept this now and get it over and done with." The man forced the food into my mouth. I choked and he didn't care, just made me eat some of it, before dragging me back to my room, closing the door on me.

"I'll be back later." He closed the little door too, the door making a clicking sound, leaving me by myself. I didn't like in here by myself. It was too bright, too cold, and I didn't like being on my own! I wanted to be with Danny, I didn't like being by myself. _You're not alone, I'm here. _But I didn't like this person! They were mean! I turned round, trying to see where they were, but I couldn't see them! They weren't here! _Haha, you can't get rid of me! _I checked under the bed, and in the bathroom, and in every corner I could find. There was no person in here apart from me! How was that happening?!

_I'm a special person, thats how. _But I wanted to be left alone, unless someone I knew was here. _There's no-one here you know apart from me. _No! I did not know this person, they were mean, I didn't know mean people! _Yes you do, and you're not getting rid of me, no matter how hard you look for me. _I didn't want them here! I didn't want to be told mean things! _Well you can't do anything about it now, I'm here, I'm staying. _No! Go away! I grabbed James and hugged him close, needing some sort of safety right now.

"I love you Tommy." James said in Danny's voice, making me feel a little better. I missed Danny so much, and I wanted him to be here with me, at least I had his voice and his key...and his picture. "sorry James, I need this!" I opened up James back, finding the picture of me and Danny, and another two. One was of me, Danny, Harry and Dougie, we were in black smart clothes. Harry and Dougie were hugging in the middle. I was on Dougie's side and Danny was on Harrys. We looked so happy. The other one was of me and Carrie, she was sitting on my back, we looked happy too. _But how long ago were they? You're not happy anymore. _Yes we were! _Then why are you here then? _To make me more happy, because I wasn't always happy. But I was happy, we were happy together! I promise we were all happy together!

16 Danny's POV

I stayed in my studio downstairs for most of the night, trying to write a song, that would make Tom feel better, that I could try and record and somehow give to him. He was going to find the next few days so difficult, because he was going to have to survive most of the day without me, something he hadn't done in months. Tom hadn't had at least one of us with him at all times in months, ever since we were at the hospital and made up again, we hadn't left each other alone. Being separated from Tom was killing me, who knew what it was doing to poor little Tom, who still didn't really know what was happening to him.

"Danny, its bed time, come on. You need to be awake for Tom tomorrow." Harry came down, already dressed in his night time boxers and baggy tshirt, rubbing his eyes. "what? I'm not tired." I mumbled, I was actually, but I wanted to finish my song. "well you've got to go to bed anyway. Its almost 2am." Harry mumbled, coming in and pulling me up. "but I need to finish! And you know song writing hours are between three and six in the morning!" I moaned, most of our songs have been written between those hours. I needed this song to be good, needed to make Tom feel better. "yes and we've got to be at the ward by ten, unless you want to oversleep and miss some time with Tom." Harry just had to know which things would make me do what he wanted me to do, didn't he? "fine, just, let me get on with it tomorrow, when we're home, alright?" I growled, following him upstairs and getting into bed with him and Dougie, who had decided to stay round.

I managed to somehow fall asleep, probably because Dougie had Tom's hoodie on, so I could smell my boyfriend, and I was wrapped around bodies that we were warm and little, so I could fool myself into believing that it was my Tom. Waking up the warmth hadn't left, I was still laid in the middle of Harry and Dougie, being protectively held between them, even though they were awake, talking quietly to each other. "morning Danny." Harry noticed I was awake. "morning. I'm getting a shower." I wanted to see Tom _right now, _I missed him so much, I wanted to feel him in my arms, know he was alright, keep him safe and sound. I had promised him that I wouldn't leave him there alone, I wished that I could have told him something else, so his hopes weren't set up to be shattered again.

In twenty minutes, I was washed, dressed, hair styled and ready to leave. I was just so desperate for Tom to be back in my arms again, I was rushing everything, and everyone else around me. "Danny slow down will you?! We still have an hour, and you need some food, you're neglecting yourself now." Harry pushed me roughly back to the kitchen, shoving a bowl of cereal into my hands. I wasn't really hungry, but I ate it quickly anyway, wanting to just get to Tom. He was having his breakfast right now, probably coming up for therapy with his new doctor. I wondered what they would talk about, maybe about how he felt from being left by himself all night. I bet he didn't like it, and needed some help to get to sleep...that would have caused trouble. Major trouble.

"Danny, hey, stop scratching! Its not good to scratch like that." Dougie grabbed my hand, I didn't know I was scratching. "huh? Oh, yeah, I know. Just kinda...thinking." I stopped myself, knowing having a glowing red arm would only cause suspicion. Tom was going to be fine, he probably took some medication to help him sleep and was fine. He couldn't get into trouble when he was knocked into sleep like that, it was impossible. And anyway, how much trouble could Tom cause in a room on his own, that was free from sharp objects? He couldn't have caused that much trouble, could he?

"stop thinking, Tom's fine." Dougie smiled a little, giving me a hug. "I'll try. I'll be fine once I see him." I always was fine, as soon as I saw that Tom was fine and well. If he wasn't, well, I'd have to see what happened. "I know you will, its time to go now anyway, we better get a move on. " Dougie smiled a little, going to the car, where Harry and Carrie were getting in too. "right, time to go. Cheer up Danny, Tom's going to be fine." Harry sent me a smile, before driving off, but it didn't stop me from worrying the whole way there, scared that Tom wouldn't be okay, that he was hurt, or scared, or if he hated me for leaving him on his own.


	10. Chapter 10

**LittleLouiseeee - hmmm you'll have to see about that! xD**

**xxPUDDxx - hmm well, that'll have to be seen to soon! and Andrew Scott may be good, but he may also be like his character of Moriarty, we shall see xD **

* * *

17 Harry's POV

Danny hurried through the corridors almost expertly, finding Tom's room within minutes, bursting in and wrapping Tom into his arms before the poor boy had any idea what was going on. "Danny! You're here!" Tom scrambled to get his arms around Danny, clinging to him so tightly. "I am, I'm here like I said I would be. Come here, I missed you so much!" Danny picked Tom up, tangling one hand in blonde hair. "I missed you too! I couldn't sleep and there was so much talking! I didn't like it!" Tom pouted, he looked so scared and tired. His pale face was even paler, the dark bags under his eyes making him look ill. "aw baby, did you tell the doctor about it so he can stop the talking?" Danny ran a hand gently over Tom's cheek.

"yeah, he said he would give me something to sleep tonight. But I don't want something, I want you!" Tom whined, leaning in closer to his boyfriend, clinging to him. "I know, I can't sleep without you either. I was up half the night song writing, but I think its best if you let the doctor give you something to sleep, it'll be better than laying awake all night." Danny sighed, putting his boyfriend on his own two feet again, holding him close. "I don't want it though. I want to go home." Tom stuck his bottom lip out, I was waiting for him to start on that. "we know Tom, but, you can't go home just yet." I told him, thinking it was better if I told him, telling Tom 'no' as always difficult for Danny. "why not?" Tom turned to me, looking so confused.

"because the doctors said you can't leave just yet." I explained, hoping he wouldn't ask questions. "but you took me home from a hospital before! A doctor was saying no then!" Tom made us all wince, how was it that he couldn't remember things like mine and Dougie's names, yet he could remember that?! "that was a different situation Tommy. This is completely different to that." Danny whimpered a little, playing with Tom's hair until it was flat against his head. "but he said no, but we went." Tom gave us such a pleading look, it hurt to tell him no again, see his face fall. "we just can't, not this time Tom. They weren't doing any good that time, this though is going to help you get better." I winced a little when Tom's face fell and he looked so upset. "b-but I'm not sick." Tom whispered, not looking at any of us. "its not that type of help Tom, its a different type. Kinda like what dad needed." Carrie grabbed one of her brothers hands, making him look so frail.

"but he left after that!" Tom cried, that was a point...probably not the best thing to say that. "I know, those doctors didn't help him in the right way. These doctors will. It'll be fine soon Tom, you'll understand whats happening and it'll be alright. This will be over before you know it." Carrie smiled a little, Tom nodded. "okay...can I have a hug now?" Tom looked up at Danny, like a helpless puppy, it was truly heart breaking to see just how much Tom wanted to go home, be safe in his lovers arms. "of course, come here then Tommy. You wanted me to fix the stuff that hurt right?" Danny brought Tom into his arms as the poor boy nodded.

So ,Tom told him that his arms hurt, so Danny ended up kissing them better, which made Tom smile, so I guess it worked a little. "Danny...we are happy, aren't we? Like in the pictures." Tom asked suddenly, breaking the quite we had fallen into. "huh? Yeah, of course we are Tommy, why wouldn't we be?" Danny nodded, looking a little worried. Tom shrugged, reaching out for his teddy, "where's this picture from?" Tom pulled the picture of our wedding day out of the back of James. "thats our wedding day!" Dougie jumped in, talking for the first time in hours. "so it is, when did that get put in there?" I smiled at the picture, sliding my hand into Dougie's as he climbed onto my lap to get close to the picture. "er, that would be me." Danny blushed a little. "why are we in the picture too? Did we get married too?" Tom asked, seemingly cheered up. "no, we didn't Tommy. We were the best men, so we got in the picture too." Danny explained, leaving us to explain the rest of the day to Tom until we had to go home.

18 Dougie's POV

Walking away from Tom never got any easier, it was always so hard to leave him, especially seeing as he always gave us huge puppy eyes, whimpering that he wanted to go home. It broke my heart every time to leave him and just walk away, hearing him start to cry helplessly, knowing he wasn't going to be comforted by anyone. At least the song Danny finished writing seemed to help him a little.

"Danny, can you sing me my song please?" Tom whimpered one night over the phone, his speech has been getting a little better over the past few weeks, which was a start. "of course Tommy." Danny reached out and grabbed his guitar, which he always had with him now during phone calls. "thanks...they hurt me again today." Tom whispered, like he was ashamed. "why did they do that then Tommy?" Danny started playing the tune gently, looking worried. "I felt so scared, one of the other people here started screaming, and I got scared. They pulled me away and took me back to my room...they weren't happy with me." Tom explained, his voice in the saddest tone I had ever heard him use. "oh, I'm sure they were fine. You didn't do anything." Danny encouraged, continuing playing his guitar, the tune of his song always in the background. "if you think so." Tom sighed, going quiet, seemingly sending Danny a signal to start singing.

I remember tears streaming down your face

When I said, I'll never let you go

When all those shadows almost killed your light

I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone

But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

Just close your eyes

The sun is going down

You'll be alright

No one can hurt you now

Come morning light

You and I'll be safe and sound

Don't you dare look out your window

Darling, everything's on fire

The war outside our door keeps raging on (on)

Hold onto this lullaby

Even when the music's gone

Gone

Just close your eyes

The sun is going down

You'll be alright

No one can hurt you now

Come morning light

You and I'll be safe and sound

Oooo (Oooo)

Oooo (Oooo)

Ah, Ah, (Ah, Ah, Ah)

Ah, Ah (Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah)

(Oooo) (Oooo)

Ah, Ah Ah, Ah, Ah

Just close your eyes

You'll be alright

Come morning light,

You and I'll be safe and sound

Oooo Oooooo (x6)

"thanks, I've got to go now. Bye guys." Tom sighed, the dial tone sounded, signalling he had hung up. "bye Tommy." Danny mumbled to himself, pocketing his phone and wandering aimlessly to his sofa, falling on top of it. He had gotten so depressed since he had left Tom on his own, mostly curling up on his sofa, or in bed, hugging either one of the dogs, his guitar, or the pillow Tom used to sleep on. We tried to comfort him as much as possible, but it was a bit difficult, considering Tom was the only one who did make Danny happy, and he was almost an hours drive away. "cheer up Dan, Tom's getting better, its going to be over soon." Harry slid onto the sofa, pulling me down with him.

"still doesn't make Tom here, right now, where I can hold him and make him happy." Danny whimpered quietly, hugging Brucie as he climbed onto the sofa with him. "but you cheered him up with his song again. So thats good." I added, wanting to somehow make him feel better. "yeah, but, he doesn't like it there and he needs to come home." Danny replied, pouting and practically glaring into thin air. "I know, but, he will be home soon. Its just until Tom's better, and he's already getting better." Harry encouraged a little, though it didn't work on Danny, it never did. "soon never comes." Danny grumbled. "it will, we just have to stick this out, Tom will be better soon, I promise." Harry promised, leaving it at that, like he that Danny knew it wasn't going to believe him.

**the song is Safe And Sound by Taylor Swift :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**LittleLouiseeee - mwhahahaha! xD**

**monkeywaiters - haha, i'm glad you think that that song fits, i spent ages going through my iTunes library, trying to find something that would fit! and i post whenever i get home from school when there's comments, most days i get home around about 4pm English time, so about 4am Australian time, i think. and then if i get more than one comment that evening, i'll update again, which can be any time between about 9 and 12pm English time! Andrew's Moriarty was AMAZING, i freaking loved it! its a shame he killed himself in the show though :( my boyfriend loves Moriarty almost as much as i love Sherlock and has now decided to give me Moriarty type riddles near his birthday as to what he wants! and there is a lot more of Tom's therapy sessions and his interactions with other patients, all of that stuff is in here, including his diagnosis and the boys reactions to it, which will hopefully not disappoint! **

* * *

19 Danny's POV

I somehow managed to get to sleep that night, it took a while, let me tell you. I was still dead on my feet the next morning, wanting nothing more than to go to the hospital, pick Tom up, and carry him home, curling up in bed together. I would have liked that, to curl up in bed with my lover again and just _sleep. _Maybe have a random conversation about whatever came to mind at the time, filled with sleepy mumblings about hopes and dreams. I liked those conversations, and missed them so much, hearing Tom's random sleepy mumblings always put me in a good mood. I missed being in a good mood, I felt so depressed lately, being without Tom just worried me and made me feel empty and lonely. I wanted him home soon, but I knew I couldn't, I just wished Tom would be home soon, so he was safe, happy, and so the both of us could actually sleep.

I wandered around my house lazily, getting ready at my own pace, knowing I had hours to wait until I could actually get into the ward. So, by the time I was ready, I was running two hours early, and that was even after taking the dogs for a walk. I sighed, falling to sit on the floor in my room, nothing else better to do. I wondered what Tom was doing, probably sitting in his room, by himself, wide awake and scared. I knew he was still scared to be by himself, no matter what he said or how he acted. He may have acted like he was happier at the ward, but I knew as Tom started understand more of what was going on, he was getting more and more scared. Tom wasn't telling us everything either, he wasn't...he wasn't as calm there as he said he was. I knew that they had 'disciplined' him quite a few times now, the poor guy.

"Danny are you ready?" Harry finally called out, at last, time to go see Tom. "yeah, I'm coming!" I wandered out to see him, checking in the mirror that I looked alright. I wanted to look good to see Tom, I knew he wouldn't notice what I looked like, but, I didn't want to let him see that this was affecting me. "you look like cr*p mate, have you eaten anything, or slept recently?" Harry asked, his hands going to my shoulders, like he was steadying me. "yeah, I'm fine. I just didn't sleep much last night, was worrying again, like always." I sighed, I had eaten this morning too, just a slice of toast, but I had actually had something. "alright, well how about we get a move on. Maybe Tom needs a sleep too so you can have a cuddle together, maybe have a doze together too." Harry smiled a little, pulling me to the car. "I hope so." I yawned a little, leaning on the window in the car the whole way to the ward.

Today, I ran into Tom's room, needing to see my little guy and make sure he was alright. I missed him so much, if I had to wake up one more time without Tom I was going to go mad. "Tommy!" I ran into Tom's arms, grabbing hold of him, feeling him wince. "Danny!" Tom grabbed hold of me too, hiding in my arms. "hey baby, feeling okay?" I asked, trying not to make him wince again as I hugged him tight. "better now you're here!" Tom grinned at me, pressing so close we were almost touching at every available point. I laughed a little and kissed him, like I did every morning, even though I knew I wouldn't get a kiss back. Tom never could kiss me back, he couldn't kiss, I don't know why, he just couldn't kiss...or say he loved me.

"I'm glad." I smiled, kissing him again, knowing Tom did like my kisses. "okay you two get a room!" Harry laughed when we broke apart. "or you know, give us a hug too!" Dougie finished for him, smiling uneasily, this place always gave him the creeps. Tom didn't say a word, just wriggled in my grip round to face the boys, hugging them tight too, managing to hug without wincing at all, which was a good thing.

20 Tom's POV

I let go of my friends and fell to sit on my bed, curling up in their arms again seconds later, I had missed everyone so much. I knew it was about twenty hours since I had last seen everyone, but I always missed them, I missed being hugged, being kissed, being talked to like I was friend. Here, my doctor talked to me like I was child, and the orderlies didn't really talk to me, just shouted at me and told me to behave. The only time I was touched was when I was pulled somewhere, or when I was being held back from something. It hurt, and made my skin hurt in places, leaving purple marks everywhere.

At least with Danny, Harry and Dougie I felt like I was a friend, and that I was loved. They didn't hurt me, they just hugged and kissed me, talked to me like I was equal to them. "so did you sleep well last night?" Danny asked, running his fingers up and down my side, it tickled a little. "no, again." I sighed, I couldn't sleep here. It was too cold, the bed was too hard and there was no Danny there to hold me. I needed to hear him snoring, be wrapped in his arms, I never slept otherwise. "but you're making me sleepy now." I continued, his hand was nice, and hearing his voice was calming. I liked it when Danny was here, he made me feel calm and good by hugs and kisses. The doctors, nurses and orderlies made me feel calm by sticking things in my arm which left more bruises and made me feel weird, or they held me against something until I calmed down.

"aw, are you saying we're boring?" Danny teased, tickling my side. "no! No, you're all just warm, and comforting." I explained with a laugh, wriggling out of his hands way, squashing into Dougie's chest, feeling more tickling hands on my sides. I screamed and wriggled around, trying to get away but I couldn't! There was nowhere to go! I was trapped between them! "no! Stop it please!" I squealed loudly, kicking out wildly. "whats going on in here?! There was screaming." a deep voice ordered, the tickling stopped right away. "we were just playing about, nothing bad, just tickling matches." Danny sat up, looking scared at the orderly. "right, just making sure nothing was happening." The orderly walked off, Danny fell to lay next to me with a sigh.

"killjoy." Dougie mumbled, getting agreements from us all. "yeah, like all of them." I sighed, none of them liked fun, they didn't like me either. They said I cried too much. "I can imagine, oh well, doesn't matter anyway. Its just their job." Harry squeezed Dougie's hand. "yeah, I guess. So where were we?" Danny tickled my side again, but it wasn't funny anymore. And he was resting on a bruise, making me make a weird hissing sound. "did I touch a sore bit? Sorry baby, I didn't mean to." Danny whispered, moving his hand to the bony part of my side, drawing patterns over me. "its alright." I told him, he didn't know where I hurt the most, because everything hurt at the moment. And it felt like no matter how many kisses I got, the pain wasn't going to go away. I wished it would, I didn't like hurting like I did.

Too soon, it was time for everyone to go home, I felt like crying again. I wanted to go home so badly, I missed home more and more with every minute that went past. I missed our big TV, and being able to cuddle up on the comfy chair and watch a film together. I missed the cat, even if he had gotten me lost, I missed Carrie, I missed the food we had, I missed my bed, the freedom to do whatever I wanted. I just missed home, I couldn't even go outside here, and all the windows didn't open that much, so I couldn't even put my head out of window. It was raining right now, I wanted to go out and run around in the rain, feel the water fall over my skin.

As soon as Danny left through the doors I wasn't allowed to go through with Harry and Dougie, I started crying, wanting to follow them so badly. But an orderly was with me, so I couldn't go anywhere without him catching me. "stop crying will you? How many times have you been through this now?" he growled at me, didn't he understand that my best friends and my boyfriend were walking away from me right now? Didn't he know how that felt?! "come on, we're going to the day room, Doctor Scott wants you to go socialise with other patients." The orderly dragged me away from the doors and almost threw me into a chair.

"now sit here and watch the TV." The orderly told me, walking off, not caring that I was crying still. People were looking at me again, they looked disappointed and like they hated me. I didn't like it, I wanted them to stop staring at me! I didn't want to be here anymore, I wanted to at least go back to my room and hide in there. I was safe in there, no-one came near me. No-one watched me crying in there. "Tom, right?" a nurse came over, bending down to my height. I nodded and curled into a ball, not wanting to talk to her. "do you want to go somewhere quieter and do something in there?" she asked, I nodded. "but he said I had to stay." I told her, I didn't want to get into trouble.

"he means that you doesn't want you back in your room just yet. He didn't say anything apart the art room or the music room, did he?" she smiled, pulling me up, ignoring my tears. She told the orderly where we going and pulled me to the art room, sitting me on a table with a big pad of paper there. "do some drawing for a while, it'll make you feel better." She told me, handing me a pencil. But I didn't want to draw, I wanted to sit in my room and cry, not draw! "draw out what you want to do, then we'll go to your room until its dinner time, unless your doctor wants to talk to you." The nurse told me again, rubbing my back. I pushed her off, not wanting to be touched. An orderly coughed, telling me not to shove people.

I ignored him and started to draw, drawing out me and Danny, hugging in my house. We were in my bed, cuddled up under the covers, I was crying into his chest, while he was holding me, like Danny always did. "thats what I want to do, can I go now?" I pushed the pad away, wanting to go back to my room, I had left James in there, I wanted him back. "not yet, how about we go to Doctor Scott and show him this, so you can talk about how you feel right now?" the nurse suggested, no! I wanted to go back to my room now! I wanted James! "no, I want to go back to my room! You said I could!" I shook my head, why did she have to lie?! "don't get agitated, you need to talk about these things. It'll be best to go to him now, and get your medication, you're due another dose." The nurse held onto my arm, I didn't want medication either! I didn't like it! "no! I don't want it! I want to go back to my room!" I pulled out of her grip, I didn't want to be touched by these people! I didn't like them!

"Thomas, carry on like this and you will be forced to calm down." The orderly came closer, the both them backing me into a corner. "just let me go back to my room please! I want my room, I want James!" I begged, feeling my chest start to tighten again. "well he's gone home, you can't have him until tomorrow." The orderly grabbed my arm, what did he mean James went home?! He was supposed to be staying with me! "don't touch me! James is supposed to be with me though! He's supposed to stay!" I cried, ripping out of his arm, only to be grabbed again, held against his chest. It wasn't like when Danny did it, he was comforting, this man felt cold and mean, I didn't like it! "well he's gone home. Calm down right now and we'll _calmly _get your medication and take you to see Doctor Scott about this." The orderly almost crushed me, making my chest tighten even more, making it thump so loudly at the same time. "but I want James! Let me go!" I cried, everyone is staring at me, I hated it! "stop looking at me! Stop it! Go away!" I pleaded, trying to get out of this mans hold, I just wanted to go to my room, why couldn't I go to my room?! I could breathe in there, I couldn't breathe here! This man's grip on me hurt so much, I couldn't move either! My chest was pounding and I couldn't breathe! "stop shouting and calm down then." The nurse ordered, glaring at me.

"please, just let me go, please! I want James!" I wanted my teddy, I wanted my pictures and Danny's voice! I needed them to be okay, I wasn't okay! "you're not getting him, stop being pathetic and calm down. This is your final warning." The orderly warned, crushing my chest even more. I cried out in pain, I couldn't breathe! "right, give him the dose." The orderly told the nurse, a sharp thing digging into my arm and everything slowed down and my legs felt like jelly. I fell to the ground, still shivering and crying, but I could breathe, I could breathe and wasn't being touched.


	12. Chapter 12

**LittleLouiseeee - i don't think the orderlies know that James is Tom's teddy... and it can't be nice to be stuck there, without really knowing properly what was going on, away from everybody you love and hold dear :/ **

**xxPUDDxx - apparently they don't realise the harshness of their actions :( and thank you! :D**

* * *

21 Harry's POV

Somehow, we managed to keep Danny distracted until it was phone call time. He was almost shaking as the phone rang, as usual, being picked up by a nurse. "I-Is Tom Fletcher there?" Danny asked, gripping his guitar so tight I thought he was going to snap it. "erm, I'll have a check for him, I'll be back in a few minutes." Footsteps were heard walking off, Danny was practically bouncing on his heels in desperation. "calm down, he'll be here in a second." I put my hands on his shoulders, stopping him moving.

"I'm sorry, Tom is busy right now. He's having a session with his doctor at the moment." The nurse explained, all of our hearts broke. "b-but he's had his session today." Danny whimpered, hugging his guitar now. "well, he's having another one. He'll be busy for a while, don't try to call again, you'll be interrupting the routine." The line went dead...what the hell was that!? "but, I need to sing Tom's song to him." Danny whimpered weakly, pocketing his phone with such a down hearted look. "aw well, never mind, we saw Tom today, and made him laugh. So thats something. We'll see Tom again tomorrow." I encouraged, worrying that Tom had done something wrong and now he had gotten himself into trouble.

"yeah, but what if he's done something wrong and they're punishing him?" Danny turned to look at me worriedly, all wide eyed and scared. "then we'll find out about it tomorrow and it'll be alright. Its all part of the treatment, learning to behave and be well, to put it bluntly, normal. And the 'punishment' can't be that bad, Tom's not that bad, so he can't be punished that bad." I smiled encouragingly, giving him a hug. "I hope so, I don't want him upset or anything." Danny whispered, pressing into my shoulder. "I know, but its going to be alright. Tom will be fine, I promise. In a few years time, you'll be laughing about this, together, happy and back like you should be." I promised, "now come on, we've left Doug alone with a hot oven, we better go avoid an explosion." I joked after a while of silence. "I heard that!" Dougie called, making me laugh.

"well, its true, last time we left you alone with an oven, you burnt your hand, and almost managed to blow up the kitchen!" I teased, kissing Dougie's head gently when he came into view. "last time I try to be a nice house husband for you then!" Dougie stuck out his tongue, shoving my side playfully. "aw no, don't stop! I like seeing you trying to be all domesticated, instead of an insane wild child." I giggled, tickling his side, making him squeak adorably. "stop it! I wanna eat!" Dougie pushed me away and pulled a bit of pizza from his plate and shoving it in his mouth.

"alright, I'll behave...for now." I gave him a teasing smile, helping him put the plates on the table. The three of us sat down to eat, quietly making our way through meal without much thought about it. We were all clearly thinking about Tom, hoping he was alright. Dougie didn't hear the failed attempt of a phone call, but I knew he had guessed what had had happened. "we are going to see Tom tomorrow, right?" Dougie asked eventually, leaning on my side. "yeah, of course! We're seeing Tom tomorrow no matter what! I don't care what they're doing to him, we're seeing him!" Danny almost shouted, looking worried beyond belief. "we'll see him tomorrow, they can't be punish Tom that much, if they even are punishing him. You never know, they could just be having another session with him." I encouraged, trying to stop Danny falling into more depression. He was just so depressed when he was at home, the only time we saw him smile was when we were with Tom, but it was still such a sad smile, because he knew their time was limited.

"yeah, I d*nm well hope so. I'm going to go to bed, I'm not hungry and I'm tired." Danny grumbled, getting up and quickly running out of the room. Dougie sighed loudly, falling to lay on my chest. "he'll be okay, don't worry. Its just a tough day. Just remember, Tom is getting better, all the time, he's slowly getting better." I squeezed him tight, trying to tell myself that at the same time. "I know, this bit just hurts. Not knowing, just knowing that tomorrow, we'll just be facing a depressed Danny and a bruised Tom who misses us so much and just wants to come home." Dougie whispered, looking up at me worriedly. "I know, but, we'll find some way of cheering Danny up, and we'll cheer Tom up too. Somehow, we'll cheer them both up, maybe we'll see about taking Tom out for a walk, just in the grounds. Tom likes the rain doesn't he? And its raining tomorrow, that'll cheer him up a bit." I suggested, wondering if Tom had even been let out of the ward at all in the past few weeks.

22 Dougie's POV

After what felt like forever, it was time to see Tom again. We were in that ward so fast we couldn't have run any quicker. Today, Danny had his guitar with him too, it was his favourite one, but at the moment he didn't seem to care that it was almost getting battered about as he ran down the hall ways, pushing into Tom's room and stopping in his tracks. Tom was laying on top of his covers on his bed, laying in possibly the most awkward position I had ever seen, fast asleep. Well... I think it was sleep anyway, he was just a little bit _too _still for this to be natural sleep.

"Tommy?" Danny whispered, gingerly poking Tom's shoulder, getting no reaction at all. "Danny, I think they've given him something." Harry pulled his hand away, stopping him from poking Tom again. "but he shouldn't be sleeping now! Its not...he shouldn't be sleeping! Its midday, he shouldn't be sleeping!" Danny looked so scared, his fingers twitching like all he wanted to do was pick Tom up and carry him home. "I know, but maybe he needed it. Calm down, alright? Just take a deep breath." Harry pulled Danny to sit in a chair, hugging me close at the same time, for my comfort or his own I didn't know. "Tom can't lay like that, he'll give himself back ache." Danny got back up again, straightening out Tom's position, so his back was laying flat on the bed, his arm across his stomach, his other hand held tightly in Dannys. I grabbed James the teddy and put it in Tom's arm so he was hugging it, hoping it would help him a little.

"I see you've found Tom then." Doctor Scott came in, sighing a little. "what happened? Why is Tom sleeping?!" Danny whimpered, turning around, keeping hold of Tom's hand at the same time. "we sent him to sleep, so he could calm down. He wasn't in a good state of mind to say the least, so we thought it would be best to give him some time to safely to calm down." He explained, leaning in the doorway. "w-why wasn't he in a good state of mind?" Danny paled, glancing down at Tom's sleeping form. "Tom didn't want to eat this morning, and basically ended up refusing completely. He just wanted to come back here, and just stay here. I'm not sure why, he was just refusing to eat anything or do anything, he was just crying out that he wanted to go home. It was best to leave him to calm down for a while. I'm sorry that its eating in to your visiting time." The doctor shrugged, I think I paled a little.

"he did what? He's not, getting worse, is he?!" Harry worried, his arm going around Danny's waist before the poor guy collapsed. His legs were trembling so badly I was surprised he was still currently standing. "no, no, I don't think so. Its common for patients to do something like this a few weeks into their treatment, once they've properly realised whats going on around them. Tom's just probably going through the same thing. He's realised that he's here for a while and is trying to fight back, it just happens, we just have to wait it out for a while. Things will return to normal." Doctor Scott explained, I didn't know whether to feel relieved or not.

"its really nothing to worry about. I assure you there is nothing to worry about, at all. This will all blow over in a few days, maybe a few weeks. Tom will calm down, and we can then properly carry on with his treatment." The doctor carried on, "right, I'll leave you to Tom, he'll be waking up soon. Unless you have any questions?" he went to move. "where was Tom last night? He was apparently in a session with you when we supposed to be having our phone call." Danny asked, shuffling closer to us and Tom, biting on his lip. "well, Tom had a...problem, again, last night. He didn't cope well being in the day room so we kept him in here to try to calm him down." The doctor explained, walking out and leaving us with an almost dead still Tom.

"I hope this is just a phase, its got to just be a phase." Danny whispered, turning round to look at Tom, leaning down to stroke his hair from his face. "it is Dan, don't worry. Its just a phase that Tom will get over." Harry sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed with me. "I hope so." Danny mumbled, leaning his head against Toms, his guitar banging on the floor as he knelt down. "he will. Hey, how about you play Tom's song, so he'll wake up hearing it. It might help, like it does over the phone." Harry suggested, clearly looking for something to distract Danny from worrying so much.


	13. Chapter 13

**LittleLouiseeee - i LOVE McFly's new song! as soon as i heard it at RAH i was in love with it and i can't wait for it to come out! what about you?**

* * *

23 Danny's POV

I quickly scrambling onto the bed, making sure I was close to Tom, but not too close. I started playing gently, just playing the melody, so glad that I brought my guitar today. When Tom started twitching I started singing too, starting the chorus, as I had gotten that bit. Tom whimpered a little and turned round, turning his head to look at me. "eh, Danny? What?" Tom half opened his eyes, pushing his glasses up his face, like he couldn't believe I was here. "I'm here, we're all here Tommy. Its visiting time, you've slept through this morning!" I played the denial card, seeing where it got us. "sorry, they made me!" Tom mumbled, turning to press his head into my knee, right on the rip in my jeans.

"never mind, you're awake now, thats what matters." Harry joined in, giving my blonde boyfriend a smile. "yeah, what time is it?" Tom asked, looking up at me. "its only 10.30, you've only missed half an hour." I ran my hand over his hair, loving the feeling of it slipping through my fingers. "okay...you brought you guitar!" Tom smiled, plucking at the strings gently. "of course I did. I wasn't going to let you go on forever without at least hearing your song live at least once." I grinned, loving the smile of Tom's face.

"yay!" Tom sat up, his smile widening. "so, wanna hear it now? So I can teach you it, so you can play it whenever you need it." I got possibly the maddest and most excited nod I had ever gotten. "alright, come here." I wriggled around until me and Tom were leaning against the wall, my left arm around him, pressed close together so I could still play, and for a bit of pleasure. I played the song through for Tom, glancing down at his face every few seconds to see his reaction. He was so relaxed by the song, a smile starting to appear on his face. This was the first time I had seen Tom's reaction to the song, I had heard him say he loved it, but I had never seen his reaction. Let me tell you, I liked it a lot, seeing the serene smile slowly cross Tom's face, like it did when I used to sing to him. "don't stop." Tom whispered as I played the last chord, and how could I refuse that? So, I went back to the beginning, playing Tom his song, letting us talk over it this time, so it was a bit like a backing track, with the rain pattering against the window behind us. It sounded perfect, sounded like old times, sounded like everything I loved.

_Flashback 1st July 2006_

_I sat back against the window pane, looking outside, playing my guitar gently, hearing Tom wander around my house somewhere. He came in soon enough, smiling when he saw me, sliding to sit in front of me. "what is that you're playing?" he asked, taking a bite of an apple in his hand. "just a song I wrote a while ago." I shrugged, smiling at him, glad he was eating willingly. "sounds good, whats it called?" Tom edged closer, after swallowing his mouthful. "Walk In The Sun. Kinda wishing it'll make the sun come out." I sighed, looking out at the rain. "nice, got any lyrics to it?" Tom laughed, looking so interested in it. His brown eyes were sparking with excitement. "yeah, give me a second." I reached out and grabbed my lyric book off the floor, flicking it over to the right page. _

_"hey, come over here. Have a read through as I sing them." I pulled him over, managing to get Tom to wriggle in between my body and my guitar, the lyric book being held in his hands. I played and sang the song the whole way through, watching to see how Tom reacted. He teared up a little, curling up a little closer to me. "its beautiful, sing it again." Tom whispered, making me blush a little. But I did as asked, singing the song through another four times. Just watching how Tom relaxed so much against me, his head leaning to watch the water drizzle down the window pane, hearing the familiar pitter patter. _

_Flashback end_

24 Tom's POV

I had thought that Danny's song was good down the phone, when he sang it right next to me, I felt like I was going to melt. "hey, you're not falling asleep on me are you?" Danny nudged me, kissing my hair. "no, no I'm not." I shook my head, nuzzling into his shoulder a little more. I felt safe right now, safe for the first time in days. I had always felt like I was on edge every day here, I wanted to feel safe, and I felt safe in Danny's arms. "hey, wanna see if we could go for a walk around outside in the rain for a while?" Harry asked, I nodded, I would love to go outside for a while. And maybe, if we were good, we could run out of here! We could go home!

"can we run away back home?" I asked Danny, wondering if I could. "unfortunately not Tommy, we've been through this, you know you have to stay here." Danny sighed, taking hold of my hand and pulling me through the hallways, his guitar on his back still. He spoke to Doctor Scott for a few minutes about taking me outside, and he agreed! He said we could go outside until the end of visiting hours, unless it started raining too much! We rushed outside, through the doors that I had wanted to get through for weeks and actually went outside! I was outside! I could feel the rain falling on me and it felt so nice! I had forgotten how it felt to be outside, it felt so good, to feel the wind and the rain on me!

Danny found a bench for us all to sit on, I curled up to his side again, hugging his arm as he played the song again and again. I could almost think we were at our house again, but the high fences stopped me, but it still felt so nice to be outside. The inside of the hospital was plain and boring, and it smelt funny. Outside wasn't boring, and it didn't smell of anything, I loved it, it wasn't nice being kept inside all day. Outside was much better than that. There was space to run around outside, I wanted to run around for a while, like Harry and Dougie were!

I pulled Danny up, leaving the guitar on the bench, joining in with Harry and Dougie's game of tag. We ran around for ages, like we used to, laughing with each other. "gotcha!" Danny laughed, kissing my wet hair. I turned round as he let me go, running away, I ran after him, managing to run into Dougie. "tag!" I shouted, running towards Danny again, watching Dougie run around after Harry, trying to catch him and never managing it. The both of them ended up being so dizzy by the end of it, they almost fell over! "no fair! You're bigger than me!" Dougie whined, falling against Harry's side. "you need to learn to be fast then, don't you Dougie?" Harry laughed, poking his side, making him squeal.

"boys, sorry to break this up, but its time to go." Doctor Scott called out, we all stopped smiling and laughing. "what? It can't be!" Danny checked his watch, "sh*t, it is as well." He sighed. "don't go! We're having fun!" I pleaded, I wanted to have more fun, I didn't want anyone to go! I didn't want to not want to feel unsafe again, be left with these mean men! "we can carry on this game tomorrow Tommy, we've got to go though." Danny hugged me tight, I cried out that I didn't want him to leave. "but I want you to stay!" I cried, feeling more water fall down my face and my chest go tight. I HATED it when Danny left! He was supposed to stay and keep me safe from these men!

A man came over and grabbed my arm, giving Danny his guitar back. "I'll be back tomorrow baby, I promise. I love you." Danny kissed my head, giving me a huge hug. Harry and Dougie hugged me too, and then they all walked away! "come back! Please come back!" I shouted, struggling to get out of this mans arms, but he was too strong! "let me go! Let me go! I hate you!" I struggled to get out of his arms as the car drove off, stumbling to the fence to watch my friends drive away without me, again!


	14. Chapter 14

**LittleLouiseeee - same here! i was in love with it from the second i heard it! i can't wait for the proper music video! :D**

**monkeywaiters - thank you so much! :D**

* * *

25 Harry's POV

Seeing Tom in the rear view mirror was awful, seeing him struggle and seemingly scream at the orderlies, running to the fence in tears, it was horrible. I wanted to stop the car and go back, go and get him and bring him home. The tears on Tom's face broke my heart, seeing how scared he looked as he practically tried to climb the fence, sobbing his poor heart out. I could see him start to be dragged away before I turned the corner, his tiny body going out of view as we drove away from him...again.

Danny turned around when I turned another corner, so the hospital wasn't even in view anymore, tears streaming down his face. "at least we made him happy for a few hours, and gave him a good time today." I encouraged, trying to see the bright side...it didn't work, at all. "but now look! He's screaming and crying out for us! For me! And I'm just walking away and letting him scream in there! They're probably going to punish him again somehow, which is going to scare the living cr*p out of him! Its not fair!" Danny cried, "its exactly like two years ago! Tom's scared and alone! Without no-one to hold him and tell him that its going to be okay! How can I just sit here, knowing that he was scared, and alone? Its Tom, I can't just sit here, knowing how scared he is!" he carried on, tears streaming down his face.

"we have to Danny, Tom's going to get used to it soon." I sighed, pulling the car over to climb out and over to Danny, hugging him close. "he's got to! It hurts so much to leave him to scream and cry!" Danny's tears soaked my shirt, he was practically choking on his sobs, heaving in wet breaths. And he ended up crying every single day, whenever he saw Tom cry when we left. Tom couldn't just get used to us leaving, he couldn't stand it, he hated being separated from us, even more than we hated being away from him. So when we did see him, he got more clingy with us, making sure we were all surrounding him, holding him close in some way. Most of the time, Tom ended up laying across our laps, looking sorry for himself. On the plus side, Tom liked to talk more, and apparently did start to spend more time in the art room, he didn't like the music room though. Apparently 'it wasn't right unless it was his own instruments' and 'it didn't feel right unless we were there too' which was fair enough, at least he was happy to go and do something in a different room. He wouldn't speak much to other patients, but, at least he was in the same room as other people.

"guys, you do like me, don't you?" Tom suddenly said, during one of his nightly phone calls. "what?! Of course we do! We love you Tom! Why would you even ask that?!" I almost shouted before anyone else got a word out. "I don't... I just, it doesn't matter." Tom sighed, sounding so sad. "it does matter! Tommy, don't ever think that we don't love you, just because we're at home and you're there doesn't mean that we don't love and care about you. You're my boyfriend, I love you so much." Danny jumped in, whimpering quietly to himself. "you're our best friend Tom, you mean everything to all of us. Don't think that we don't love you, cause we do, so much." Dougie carried on, looking like he wanted to jump through the phone to where Tom was, and give him a huge hug.

"okay..." Tom trailed off, he sounded so unbelievably awkward, like he had no idea what to say to us. "has something happened Tommy?" Danny asked, obviously sensing something wrong. "no, no. Nothings happened. I'm fine, I just...needed to hear that." Tom whispered. "alright, you can tell us though, if something does happen, you know that right?" I asked, needing to make sure that Tom did know he could still talk to us if he needed it. "yeah, I know. I'm fine, really, I am... I've got to go now, its dinner time." Tom sighed loudly, he didn't like mealtime there, at all. "okay, be good Tommy, I love you. I'll see you tomorrow, alright?" Danny managed a weak smile, starting to chew on his sleeve. "yeah, I lo-, I like you guys too." Tom choked again, hanging up again.

26 Dougie's POV

Danny sighed loudly as Tom hung up, practically tearing his sleeve he was chewing on it so hard. "do you think something actually did happen?" I asked, leaning back on Harry, trying to feel comforted somehow. "yeah, I do. There's got to be a reason why Tom asked that." Danny bit his lip, scratching at his arm harshly. "dude stop it!" I shouted, realising that Danny had been scratching his arm on and off for a while. "huh? Oh, right, sorry." Danny sighed, fiddling with his fingers. "its alright, just try to cheer up a bit. I know its hard, but it'll get better." Harry encouraged, I swear he said that speech at least twice a day.

"yeah, its supposed to get better every day, but it never does! Tom is still stuck inside a psych ward, wanting to just come home and feel safe, while we're all being told that he's just not getting any better! He's getting more and more scared and starting to feel that we don't love him or want him anymore, and there's _nothing _we can do about it! All that happens when we try to talk to someone they just say that it'll get better in time, and that Tom can't leave, he has to stay to get better. And I want him to get better, so much, I want him to be happy again! I want the loud Tom I used to know back, the one who smiled and gave the best hugs, and told me that I was stupid but he loved me anyway. I want the Tom who told me he loved me back. But I don't want to see him in this much pain and distress either!" Now Danny looked like he wanted to cry.

"dude, don't cry, please, don't cry. We'll get him back, he'll tell you he loves you again, he'll smile, give the best hugs, and tell you that you're stupid but he loves you anyway. Its just going to take a long time, but we'll get him back, don't worry, we'll get him back." I managed to pull Danny upright, hugging him before he burst into another set of tears, which would undoubtedly start us off too.

"but when?! How long is it going to take for Tom to feel alright again? Is he ever going to get better, or is he going to fight every single step of the way until he just completely snaps?" Danny whimpered, obviously biting back tears. "he will get better, I promise. The ward won't let Tom completely snap, they're the best people to be looking after him right now. Tom's already shown a bit of improvement, he's more vocal now, which is a start, isn't it?" Harry encouraged, rubbing Danny's back gently.

"yeah, I guess. This still is awful, knowing we can't make it any easier on Tom, he needs some sort of love, even when we're not there. He's just a scared little boy, he needs some love and someone comforting with him, thats all. He'll be so much better if they just gave him some comfort instead of just expecting Tom to just be perfectly fine with things!" Danny explained, slumping on the sofa, he actually looked so small for once. Danny never looked small, he always looked, well, normal sized. But just then, he looked tiny, like the scared little boy he described Tom as.


	15. Chapter 15

**LittleLouiseeee - same! i am so excited for it all! :D**

**Guest - thank you so much! i'm really glad you like my fic! :D**

* * *

27 Tom's POV

I curled up tighter in my corner, trying to be a good boy. Doctor Scott said I had to be good, or he would start to take things away from me and make me earn them back. He was going to start with stopping me from phoning Danny every night, he was _never _taking that away from me, so I had to be good! But it was so hard with the questions I was being asked! I didn't like them, they were mean! Why did he have to ask about the same things every day?!

"okay, so why do you want Danny so much? Why not your sister, your friends, any other family member?" Doctor Scott asked, didn't he know he was my boyfriend?! "he's-he's my boyfriend! Thats why I want him! I want everyone else too, but I want Danny most!" I tried to explain, Danny was just..._everything _to me. He was my boyfriend, my best friend, my band mate, my carer, my cuddle-giver. He was everything, why didn't he understand that? I had told him this twice this week already. "right, so you're saying that Danny is more important to you than anyone else in your life?" I nodded, "so is he the most important person you've ever met? Would you agree with that?" I nodded again, "right, so have you had any problems in the past, have you had any major arguments, broken up for a little while, anything like that?" he asked, I slowly nodded.

"we broke up three times, but we got back together." I told him, knowing lying got me nowhere...wait, had we made up since last time? Had we made up in the hospital? We had, hadn't we? Did Danny actually cheat on me or was I being stupid? "ah, why and when did you break up?" I sighed, I didn't want to answer that. I didn't want to think about how I had hurt myself, and Danny had seen, and then told everyone. "Tom? Come on, what happened? Was it because you ran away?" Doctor Scott made a few notes on his paper. "yeah, its my fault." I shouldn't have let that slip out, but it was true. If I had stayed in bed that night, and not seen what happened, or hurt myself and let Danny see, or just not ran away, we wouldn't have broken up at all. I would still be happy... I think, I didn't even remember why I ran away. It just happened. But if I hadn't have done it, then we wouldn't have had any of these troubles. I could have hidden what was wrong with me and carried on, I could have done that, couldn't I?

"how was it your fault exactly?" the doctor asked, I sighed, telling him a bit of what happened, trying not to go into too much, it hurt to think about it. My chest hurt when I thought about it. "ah, so was he cheating on you or did you just get the whole thing wrong?" I didn't know, I had no clue. "I, I don't know." I whispered, I didn't know, at all. "oh, well, did you even ask Danny about it when you woke up in hospital?" the doctor carried on, I tried hard to think back that far. I didn't, I don't think I did anyway. "no, there was...other things worrying me." I didn't know how to explain that I had a weird thing in my mouth that hurt a lot. "ah yes, the tube. And then the whole blood thing. Understandable really. So, you haven't ever talked about it?" Doctor Scott looked through some pages. "no. I just...thought he hadn't, because he did, _that. _But, I don't know for sure." Why didn't I ask? I didn't ask, how didn't I ask!?

"alright, well, I think you should, whenever you get a chance. It would be nice to know what happened that night, wouldn't it?" Doctor Scott made me nod a little. If Danny had cheated on me, I didn't want to know, I didn't want to think about it. I wasn't the best person to be boyfriends with, but, that wasn't a nice thing to do either. My chest hurt so much just thinking about it, I hoped it wasn't true. "well, I think thats enough for today, its getting towards bed time now. I'll walk you back to your room, I know you don't like the orderlies much." Doctor Scott got up, taking me back to my room. He didn't drag me there or anything, he let me walk. That was nice. I liked being able to walk by myself, unless I was holding hands with Danny or something like that. "they hurt me." I admitted, pulling on my sleeves. They were all purple and brown from where they held me so hard.

"you deserve to be hurt." A random person said as we walked past her. She was the one who glared at me! What had I done to her? And why did she look like I had seen her before? From outside of here? "ignore her. Alex is that with every patient. Its part of her illness." Doctor Scott told me. But, the orderlies always pulled me about, they didn't with the others. They must have hated me. "well, here we are. Do you need anything before lights out?" the doctor opened the door to my room. "er, no. I'm fine." I went in, sitting on my bed, feeling so alone. If I had someone else here I would have been okay, but I didn't. I only had me, and sometimes a person who I could hear but not see. But I didn't like them, they weren't nice. "alright, well, good night Tom. I shall see you in the morning, bright and early." The door closed, locking tight shut.

I sighed, sitting on my bed and hugging James close, feeling so alone. I wanted to cuddle with someone, mostly Danny. He was so warm and comforting, even if he had cheated on me. I wouldn't have been that surprised if he had, I was hard work to look after, and I wasn't really nice to look at either. It wasn't like I was that good at being a boyfriend either, I was here because I wasn't happy enough, I guess Danny wanted to be with happy people. Harry and Dougie were happy people, they were nice to look at and be around. I couldn't really blame Danny for wanting them too. He had to spend so much time with me, he needed a break to be with good people too. _Thats why you're here. So he's with good people. _But, I wanted to be a good person too. _Thats what you're learning here. And why I'm here, I'm helping you be better. Listen to me and you'll be good, got it? _Yeah, I guess, if it made me better. _Good boy. _

The door opened again, and a nurse came in. "its time for your sleeping pills Tom. You feeling up to swallowing them today or do you need the injection?" she asked, I shrugged. _Injection, it'll be quicker. _"injection." I sighed, letting her roll up my sleeve, revealing all my purple marks, and the holes in my arm, where the orderlies gave me weird stuff that sent me to sleep. "I think tomorrow you should try swallowing the tablets, the medication will last longer, so all these bruises aren't here." The nurse gave me the sleeping stuff, making sure I was laying down under the duvet. _Don't take the tablets, they'll stop me talking to you. _Well sometimes that was nice. _Don't care, take the injection, got it? _Fine. I agreed, feeling myself relax and fall asleep.

28 Danny's POV

I couldn't sleep that night, I never could sleep properly, but tonight it was worse. I couldn't help but see my poor Tom curling up in a corner on his bed, shivering, so scared and alone, just wanting to be held in someone's comforting arms. Guilt gnawed away inside me, I felt sick, I should have done something a little better, or a little different, while Tom was still here. It could have made him better, if I had just tried a little harder to make him better then I could have avoided him going away, and he could have been tucked up in my arms right now, sound asleep. But no, I had messed up somehow, somewhere along the line, and now Tom was stuck on his own, scared and starting to think that he wasn't loved. I hated just sitting here, knowing that there was something I could do to help, but I wasn't allowed to! All I wanted was to go up to the ward and wrap Tom into my arms, tell him that it was all okay, that I loved him so much. It was horrible to think I couldn't, to know I had to wait, that I wasn't allowed near him until a certain time.

Before I even knew it, it was morning, I hadn't even managed to sleep at all last night, not even for a second. D*mn it. I sighed and rolled out of bed, wondering why I even bothered with sleep anymore, showering and getting dressed so slowly, needing some sleep but knowing I wasn't going to be given any for a long time. "Dan? You awake?" Harry's voice came through the house as I fixed my hair. "yeah, like always." I sighed, seeing him come through the door in the mirror. "d*mn you look awful today, when the hell did you last sleep?" Harry's eyes widened a little when I turned round. "cheers for the compliment." I quipped, rubbing my eyes to try and wake myself up a little. "sorry, but dude, you look ill. I think you should try and have a lay down for a while, you look like you're going to pass out!" Dougie came in, he didn't look that much better himself. "could say the same to you though. And we can't, Tom needs us, he needs to know that we love him." I sighed. "we still have an hour, go and have a sleep." Harry pushed me towards my bed. "guys really, I'm fine. I couldn't sleep anyway. I'll have a snooze when we get home, alright?" I stopped them, yawning loudly.

"if you're sure you can last that long. You look ready to pass out!" Harry warned, his hands going to my shoulders, like he was keeping me upright. "I'm fine, seriously, I'm fine. And I'll be more than fine when we get to Tom, alright?" I insisted, they seemed to believe me, thank god. I was fine, honestly, just a bit in need of sleep, and that was only happening when Tom was safe and sound in my arms, in one of our beds, happy. It didn't matter what mental state he was in, whether it was childishly needy and dependant on me, or if he was normal Tom, as long as he was happy and in my arms, I would be able to sleep.

Eventually, we managed to get ourselves to the hospital, I managed to doze a little bit on the journey, which helped a little. "hello boys, I've been waiting for you to turn up." Doctor Scott was waiting for us in reception...this didn't look good. "why? Whats wrong with Tom?" I asked first, feeling panic start to well up inside me, what had they done to Tom? "nothing, nothing. I just want to ask you a few questions is all. Just to make sure the version Tom is giving me is the same as what you believe to be true." Doctor Scott explained, wait, what? "what do you mean?" Harry asked, holding onto my hand for support.

"for the past couple of days, I've been talking to Tom about his relationships, with you guys and his sister and other people. And I've been also been asking about any problems you've been having. So I want to know the true story, as I'm not sure if Tom is telling me his version of events, or the true version." The doctor explained, starting to lead us down the corridor. "but what about seeing Tom? We want to see him too!" I stopped him, I wanted to see my boyfriend, I just needed to see him right now. "well, he's sleeping again at the moment, so I guess we can talk in there if you really want to see him." The doctor led us to Tom's room, revealing our fallen leader, tucked up under his blanket, fast asleep, looking so unbelievably cute I just wanted to pick him up and never let him go.

I crawled onto his bed automatically, laying down behind him and simply holding him in my arms, feeling so safe there, like I should never let him go. "so, Danny, would you mind telling me what happened the night of your last break up?" Doctor Scott _had _to ask that question didn't he? He just had to. I didn't want to _think _about the last break up, ever, it was because of that, that we were all here now. I shouldn't have left the bed, I really shouldn't have left, I don't even know why I did when all the comfort I needed had been on the floor right next to me.

"I don't want to talk about it." I mumbled, pressing closer to Tom's body, trying to tell him through my touches that I loved him. "come on, I need to know what happened, Tom doesn't know either, I'm sure he would love to know what really happened." Wait...Tom didn't know what happened still? Didn't I explain to him what had happened? I hadn't...had I? I had been so caught up in keeping him calm and safe, and so happy he was holding me again I hadn't thought to explain what had happened. Tom had seemed to be fine, how did I forget to tell him that I didn't cheat on him?!


	16. Chapter 16

**LittleLouiseeee - same here! i can't wait for a new tour! and i REALLY hope they do something with Matt and James too! i love their McBusted team up!**

* * *

29 Harry's POV

Danny didn't want to talk about what happened, he almost refused, looking so unbelievably guilty. So, me and Dougie (mostly me, Dougie didn't really like talking here) had to explain what had happened to Tom and Danny. Doctor Scott looked incredibly interested in the whole thing. "right, so, you're saying that you had a nightmare and got so scared that you ran to these two, somehow Tom woke up and followed you and saw you all in bed together and got the apparent wrong end of the stick?" Doctor Scott rounded up, me and Dougie nodded a little. "right, and usually this wouldn't have bothered Tom at all?" he asked, looking so confused. "no, we're all really, really close. We're like family, we'll do anything for each other, we've always been close. We've always not minded jumping into bed with each other." I explained, rubbing Dougie's back gently, he looked guilty himself right now.

"okay, so has Tom also joined in with this bed sharing business?" the doctor wrote some things down on his notepad, looking highly interested, as a loud snore sounded behind us. I turned round to see that Danny had managed to fall asleep. He must have been tired. "tired is he?" Doctor Scott asked, smiling a little. "yeah, a little." I sighed, not really liking telling this doctor all about us and our relationships. But, he made us tell him a little more about how we all worked as a group, and about Tom and Danny's relationship, and just about Tom too. Then he left us to it, letting us just, sit there, and watch Tom and Danny sleep under the Star Wars duvet until it was time to leave. Neither of them even twitched the whole time, the both of them had only snored the whole way through visiting hours, whatever the doctors had given Tom must have been strong.

"Danny, wake up, you need to wake up now." I shook Danny's shoulder gently, only getting a loud groan. "Danny, we have to go, you need to let Tom go now." I sighed, not really wanting to pull Danny away from Tom, not when he was in such desperate need of sleep, and his boyfriend. But, we had to go, even though none of us wanted to. "no! Go away! We're sleepy!" Danny grumbled, his head nuzzling further into Tom's shoulder. "I know, you can sleep in the car, come on." I had to give up in the end and just pull a very tired Danny up. I had to carry him to the car, though he was none the wiser until he woke up hours later at home, with no idea what had happened for the past few hours.

"but I was with Tom, I swear, I was...we were with him, weren't we? We did go, or do we still need to go? I just... what time is it?" Danny looked beyond confused, rubbing his tired eyes. "its 3pm, we did go to see Tom, but he was sleeping, so you crashed out with him. The both of you slept through visiting hours, so we had to bring you home." I explained, feeling so sorry for poor Danny when his face fell. "I did what? But, how did Tom react to that? He wasn't annoyed or upset, was he?" Danny sat up, like he could quickly run to Tom if he needed to. "no, he wasn't. He was asleep too, he didn't even notice, I promise." I reassured him, seeing him relax a little.

"you sure? You're not lying to make me feel better, are you?" Danny asked, wriggling round to lean against me. "no, I mean it. Tom's fine, he didn't know you fell asleep." I promised, giving Danny the hug he seemed to need. "alright, if you're sure." Danny sighed, looking so downhearted. "hey, cheer up, you spend four hours cuddled up with Tom, like you used to. Isn't that what you wanted?" I rubbed his arm encouragingly, trying to bring a smile on his face. "yeah, it was. But its not the same as it would be here. And knowing that it wasn't natural sleep either, it was just, not the same as it could have been. Not the same as being here, in this bed together." Danny sighed, fiddling with the duvet sadly.

30 Dougie's POV

Danny stayed curled up in his bed, looking so downhearted, I hadn't seen him look so upset in years, not since his parents had gotten divorced. He only brightened up when the clock told us it was seven in the evening, which meant it was time for our daily phone call. Danny practically cracked his skull open running to the phone, managing to trip up in the door way and tumble towards the phone, managing to grab the thing and stop in the middle of the floor like a gymnast. "Tom? Can I speak to Tom please?" Danny was asking seconds later.

"dude, speaker phone!" I nudged him, making him put it on speaker. "D-Danny?" Tom finally came to the phone. "yeah, its us Tommy, like always." Danny grinned. "w-why are you phoning?" Tom whispered, he sounded close to tears. "because we always phone at seven, so we can talk to you." Danny answered, starting to look a little worried. "but you didn't come today. You left me here...are you forgetting about me?" Tom sounded heartbroken, completely heartbroken. "what? No, no of course not! We did come today, like we always do! You were sleeping, so we didn't wake you up." Danny explained, starting to bite his nails. I grabbed his hand and yanked it from his mouth, just in case.

"how do I know you're not lying?" Tom asked, his voice shaking. "don't you believe us?" Harry asked, Danny physically paled in between us. "no, I don't." Tom sounded like he didn't know what to say, his voice was shaking so badly. "aw Tommy...we really did come today, ask Doctor Scott, he knows." Danny sighed, yanking his hand back and sticking it in his mouth to carry on chewing on his nails. "he lies." Tom mumbled, another one of Danny's nails came off. "I'm sure he doesn't Tommy." Danny started on his next nail. "if you don't believe him, how can we prove to you that you were there?" Harry jumped in, giving us a look, telling us to just make Tom feel better at the moment.

"I don't know...what clothes was I wearing?" Tom asked after a few seconds. "easy, black skinny jeans and your new three eyed alien tshirt." Danny grinned proudly, how did he notice these things? Especially since Tom was covered by his blanket? "okay...maybe you did come. Why didn't you wake me up?" Tom asked, again, sounded so heartbroken. "erm, we couldn't Tommy. We would have if we could have, but...it wasn't, we just couldn't wake you up. I'm sorry." Danny mumbled, looking so guilty. "they made me sleep...didn't they?" Tom sighed, he was starting to understand the ward I think, or was just good at guessing. It scared me that he was working things out now, how much more would he figure out that he would hate us for?

"yeah they did, sorry Tommy." Danny bowed his head like it was his fault. "not your fault... I've got to go now. You don't have to come tomorrow if you don't want to. Bye." Tom hung up before we could say anything to him. "sh*t, we've made things worse!" Danny swore, head butting the floor. "we couldn't have prevented what happened today though. We couldn't have woken Tom up, no matter how hard we tried." Harry reasoned, rubbing Danny's back comfortingly. "I know, I wish we could have though. I don't even want to know whats going through his mind right now." Danny mumbled, pulling off another nail.

"yeah, but I'm sure that his doctor will make him see some sense after he talks to him. Now stop pulling off your nails, before you don't have any left." I pulled his hands away from his mouth again, noticing that Danny didn't actually have any nails left to bite. And the skin around them was tearing too, I hoped he wouldn't start picking at that too.


	17. Chapter 17

**LittleLouiseeee - same here! but i doubt he ever will see sense unfortunately :/**

**monkeywaiters - *gives Tom over for a hug* :D**

* * *

31 Tom's POV

_Why did you even bother answering the phone? You're just wasting Danny's day, he could be doing more important things, like I don't know, being happy, instead of talking to you. He only calls to keep you happy you know. _But, I thought Danny liked talking to me. _He doesn't, its like talking to a brick wall. He'll have a better time talking to his dogs than you. _Oh, I didn't know I was that bad to talk to. _Well you are. _Okay.

"shut up will you? I'm not talking to you." The orderly told me, pushing me into a chair. _See what I mean? _"now, sit here, I'll get you your dinner." He ordered, _sit still. Stop rocking you child. _Sorry, I liked rocking, it felt nice. _Don't care, stop it. Do you want to look crazy? _No, not really. _Exactly, so stop it. _I stopped rocking, and just hugged my knees instead, I needed to hug something right now. I hadn't been hugged all day, I wanted to hug someone, or be hugged by someone. _Let me guess, Danny. Is there anything you don't need him for? _Er, I don't think so. "right, give me your arm." The orderly dumped a plate on the table, grabbing my arm and sticking a needle in it. The mean person went away and I ate whatever was given to me, before I got dragged to the art room again. "do some drawing or something." I was told, so I did, trying to pretend other people weren't near me. I didn't like them, they were weird.

"what is that? Looks terrible!" the woman who glared at me said, why was she saying that?! I hadn't said anything to her! "Alex, behave." Someone warned her. "well it does! Its ugly, like him!" she argued, but... I thought it didn't look too bad! "Alex, enough! There's no need to be mean to Tom, he hasn't done anything to you." A hand went to my shoulder, the man was glaring at her. "really? I think he has! Him and his little band wrecked my life!" Alex growled, giving me a mean glare again. But it was meaner than the others, what had I done to her?! What had we done to her?! She looked familiar but I didn't think we had met before! "Alex stop it right now. Do you want to be put back in your room for the rest of day?" an orderly told her, she just carried on, telling me I ruined everything and she hated me.

"oh great, now he's crying! How pathetic are you? Hurry up and grow some will you?!" she shouted, my chest hurt, I couldn't breathe! Water ran down my face and I felt so upset, why did everyone hate me today?! Why did everyone hate me, I hadn't done anything to them! Couldn't I be treated normally by someone today, please? I didn't like being treated like I was hated! I didn't want to be hated! "right thats it. Back to your room, right now." Orderlies grabbed Alex and took her away, she screamed that she hated me one last time before she went away, everyone stared at me. "stop looking at me! Go away!" I hid my face, I didn't want people to see me crying! They would all think I was like what Alex said I was, I didn't want to be weak! I wanted to be liked, and with people who liked me. Could I go home now? Where things were better, only the person I never saw told me bad things there. It was safe at home. I liked home.

"okay, I think its best you went back to your room for a while. You can talk this through with Doctor Scott tomorrow, as he'll be busy with Alex tonight." An orderly pulled me back to my room, leaving me to cry until the sleeping nurse came in. She sent me to sleep and I had bad dreams all night. It was like being awake, but everyone was even meaner, they were so mean! Couldn't they be quiet? Couldn't someone be nice to me? I wanted to have someone be nice to me! That was all, I just wanted someone to be nice! _Well no-one going to be nice to you! You don't deserve it! Don't bother wishing for it, it won't happen! _Why couldn't it? Why did everyone hate me so much? And why couldn't Danny be here with me anymore? Why couldn't he be with me right now, when I needed him the most? _Because he hates you! He cheated on you remember, he cheated and lied to you about it. He doesn't want to be your boyfriend, who would? You're ugly and mess things up all the time. You mess up everyones day, making them come here, instead of being together and enjoying the fact that you're not there. _I was sorry! I didn't know! _Then you're stupid. _

I woke up when my pillow got too wet, on both sides, I couldn't go back to sleep or escape from this feeling! I just felt so alone, scared and unloved, I hadn't felt like this at home, I didn't like these feelings! All I could do was cry, and wish someone would come in and be nice to me, even if they did hate me, I just wanted them to be nice. Why was no-one here nice? At home, everyone was nice, they hugged me, let me do what I wanted. They didn't make me feel sad all the time, and talk about stuff I didn't know about! I just wanted someone to hug me and to go home right now, so I could be happy for a little while. Why wasn't allowed to be happy?

32 Danny's POV

Again, I couldn't sleep that night, just spent all night worrying about poor Tom, thinking about what he could have been thinking about us right now. I don't think he fully believed us when I told him that we had come down to see him, I dreaded to think what his head was telling him. And, the fact that Tom was starting to tell us we didn't have to see him worried me something terrible. I hoped he would still be happy to see us, I didn't want to be pushed away again. It killed me last time, to be pushed away when Tom thought I didn't love him, that I had cheated on him. I could only think that that had come up in therapy sessions, I didn't know how much Tom could remember, I needed to explain to him what had really happened, tell him at last that nothing had happened.

It seemed to take years until I was back in the ward again, running down the halls to Tom's room, a route I had now memorised. Luckily, Tom was in his room, and he was awake, but my god he looked awful. He was as white as a sheet, his eyes red and puffy, still leaking water endlessly, like a waterfall. Tom wasn't even dressed normally either, instead of his normal jeans or three quarter lengths, he was in his tracksuit bottoms, a baggy oversized tshirt and a hoodie, the outfit he usually wore when he felt sick or just generally down. And he certainly looked depressed and helpless right now. "Tommy! Whats happened? Whats wrong?" I ran forward and practically squashed Tom into my arms, hugging him tightly. "I-I, I thought you wouldn't come!" Tom whimpered, clinging to the three of us as we crowded round him tightly.

"of course we were coming down, we wouldn't miss seeing you for the world!" I managed to smile a bit, nuzzling into Tom's slightly greasy hair. "I-I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Tom whispered, his shaking hands clinging onto my arm. "sorry for what baby?" I asked quietly, pressing kisses to Tom's head that were hopefully comforting to him. Tom didn't answer me, just clung to me like he couldn't do anything else, like he had missed me _so much. _I tried to calm him a little, making what I hoped were comforting sounds and kissing him, squeezing the tiny little boy close. It didn't work though, Tom just carried on crying helplessly, whimpering that he was sorry over and over again.

It worried me how Tom just would not calm down, how he just couldn't do anything but hold us close, cry and whimper that he was so sorry. "Tommy whats happened? Why are you sorry? I can't help you unless you tell me whats wrong." I encouraged gently, tracing patterns over Tom's side lightly, "did you have a bad dream last night? Or did someone hurt you?" I started giving options for Tom to nod to. He didn't, just whimpered a few times. "come on Tommy, you want help, don't you?" I got a nod then, at least I now knew Tom was in the room with us. "good, so what happened? Whats made you so upset?" I kissed his hair gently again, wishing I could take away the upset Tom felt and make him only feel happiness.

"can't say, can't say!" Tom shook his head, pushing into my chest. "why not Tom? Its only us, we can help." Harry spoke up at last. "I can't! I just can't!" Tom cried, whimpering quietly. "okay, okay. Tell us when you're ready to. What can we do to make you feel better right now?" I ran my hand through Tom's hair, wanting to just pick the poor guy up and take him home. It took Tom a long time answer, and when he did it was barely even a whisper. "be nice to me, please."


	18. Chapter 18

**LittleLouiseeee - it would be awesome!**

**monkeywaiters - thank you, but i don't mean to make you sad! *hugs***

* * *

33 Harry's POV

Toms answered scared and worried me in equal measures, why was he asking us to be nice to him? Were the staff and other patients here not being nice to Tom, were they being abusive or something? Surely the staff at the very least would treat Tom in the right way he deserved? "of course Tommy, we'll always be nice to you, because we love you." Danny kissed Tom's head again, his fingers dancing lightly over Tom's arm. "thank, thank you." Tom whispered, his eyes filled with hope and thankfulness. "no problem Tom, no problem at all." I told him, squeezing Tom and Dougie gently.

"baby, how about you have a lay down? You'll feel better after you have a rest." Danny suggested, starting to loosen his grip on Tom's little body. "no! I can't!" Tom shook his head, clinging Danny impossibly more. "why not baby? We'll all still be here." Danny asked gently, enclosing Tom's hand in his own, dwarfing them. "you'll leave! And, and the pillows all wet!" Tom whimpered, I reached round and checked, the pillow was wet on both sides. "what happened to make it go all wet...oh, right." It clicked inside my head that the most likely reason why the pillow was wet was because Tom had been crying so much. I felt so sorry for him, I couldn't imagine what it was like to be made to lay in a bed and probably be ignored while in hysterical tears all night, with no-one there to be comforting and make you feel safe. Especially when Tom was so dependent on us, how must that have felt to be completely isolated from everything that made you feel safe, being left to cry by yourself like there was nothing happening? It must have been awful, more than awful, words couldn't describe what it must have felt like. No wonder Tom was so upset right now.

"oh baby, I'm sorry. You know we have to leave at some point, but we'll stay as long as we can. Do you want to lay down on my jacket instead? Its not wet, its nice and warm." Danny took off his jacket, folding it up into a semi large square, placing on the pillow carefully, lowering himself and Tom down on it, hugging the small boy close to his chest. It seemed to help, Tom managed to calm down a little, and ended up just snivelling into Danny's chest. "shhh, shhh. Its okay Tommy, we love you so much. _I _love you so much." Danny whispered gently, the back of his fingers gently brushing over Tom's honey blonde hair.

"hey, could I talk to you boys again?" Doctor Scott made us all jump. "no, busy." Danny told him as Tom whimpered. "alright, well can I talk to Harry and Dougie then if I can't talk to you too?" Doctor Scott asked cooly, ignoring Danny's annoyed tone completely. Danny looked up and gave us a look to say we could go if we wanted to, so I gently pulled Dougie over to the doctor, wondering what the hell he wanted now. I asked as much (using the same words) not really wanting to talk to this man much, especially if my guesses about the way Tom was being treated here were true. "I just wanted to give you an update on Tom's state. He seems to be hiding more into his own shell than wanting to be around with other people. Also, Tom's started to talk to himself even more. He talks to himself quite a lot, like he's having a conversation with someone. Did he used to do that at home?" Doctor Scott asked. "er, yeah, a little. He did sometimes, and he had conversations with his toys." I had pretended to not notice, we all did, but Tom did talk back to his toys, and say weird things, like he was in the middle of a conversation.

"okay, so its not a new thing. Also, do you know if Tom's had any problems when he was younger, or if any of his family have?" Doctor Scott wrote things on his clipboard, it was relatively thick. That couldn't have been good. "er, he did have a bit of an eating disorder, about five years ago. But Danny got him through it, and he's been fine for years, until the runaway. Tom's been fine, he hasn't had anything else wrong with him." I answered, desperately thinking through as much as I could, trying to even think of anything wrong with Tom, any signs that he had been anything other okay without an obvious reason. "Tom's dad had a nervous breakdown too, when Tom was twenty, and he left the family afterwards. His mums never recovered, and she got taken somewhere to get help." That was all we had heard, Tom didn't like to talk about his family much. Unless it was Carrie, who was sane and nice and loved her brother a whole lot.

34 Dougie's POV

I didn't want to hear any more about Tom's mental state, I just wanted to cuddle him and take him home, where he was safe and loved and was surrounded by the people that loved him. At least he had Danny for a while, keeping him safe and feeling loved hopefully. "alright, well thats helpful, I'll see if I can find anything on it, it might help with the therapy, also have you explained to Tom what happened that night that sparked most of this off?" Doctor Scott finished making notes, I leant against Harry so much he picked me up, hugging me like a parent would with their toddler. But I didn't care, it felt good. I felt safe there.

"erm no, now is obviously not a good time. Maybe another day when Tom's calmed down a little." Harry sighed, rubbing my back gently. "alright, I'll leave you to it again. An orderly will be in when its time to leave, to make sure Tom is okay." I had to snort a little at that, Tom was _never _okay when Danny was taken from him. Why would today be any different? I sighed, finally being taken back to the bed, crawling back on top of it, resting next to Tom, putting a hand comfortingly on his skinny arm. Danny was gently singing 'Safe and Sound' to him, tracing Tom's features with his finger, the eye contact they shared only being broken when Tom closed his eyes, before he opened them again, like he was falling asleep. Or doing as the song said to. Danny ended the song with a kiss to Tom's head, finishing wiping away a few left over tears.

"feeling any better now?" Danny whispered, Tom nodded a little, pressing into Danny's chest a little more, "good. Thats good. Now, is there anything else we can do, to make you feel better, about anything?" Danny continued, running his hands through Tom's hair repeatedly. "home. I want to go home." Tom whispered, I think all of our hearts broke when Tom said that. "I'm sorry, we can't bring you home yet. You've got to stay, I'm so sorry." Harry sighed, so Danny didn't have to. It killed him to tell Tom, and watch his face fall in disappointment. "but...its not nice here." Tom whimpered quietly. "I know, I know its not. Look, I'll see if we can do something, try and get just a few hours out, or anything like that. Will that be good enough for now?" Danny suggested, lifting Tom's head up to look at him. "a bit." Tom nodded a little, leaning into Danny's huge hands.

"okay, I will see what I can do for you then. Its not a promise, but, I can see what I can do to get you at least a few hours out." Danny smiled the tiniest bit, kissing Tom's forehead. "thank you." Tom whispered, grabbing hold of his boyfriends hands, looking up with a look that practically cried out that he want to be taken home. "anything for you Tommy. You know that." Danny said quietly, pulling Tom's head into his chest, holding him close.

"okay, time to go you lot, Tom has things to do." An orderly dressed completely in white came in. "don't go, please!" Tom whimpered, scrambling to hold onto Danny even tighter. "I'm sorry baby, I really am. But we have to go. I'll be back tomorrow, remember what I said, I'll see if we can get you out for a few hours or something." Danny whispered, kissing Tom's head gently. "don't leave me alone here with them, please! They're mean!" Tom begged, starting to look so scared. "I'm sorry, we have to. They won't be too mean, I'm sure. I love you Tommy, I'll phone you tonight, okay? Bye baby." Danny promised, gently kissing his lover, squeezing him tightly, before letting him go, looking so heartbroken. Me and Harry said our own goodbyes before following Danny out of the room, hearing Tom start crying again.

I turned round to see the orderly yank him out his room, the poor guy looking at us so longingly as we got pulled down opposite ends of the corridor. Tom got pulled round a corner before I could say anything to him, or before either Danny or Harry noticed that he had been outside, pulled from the position of half calm we had got him into. I sighed, following everyone outside to the car, driving silently home, hoping that the staff wouldn't be that mean to Tom.


	19. Chapter 19

**monkeywaiters - ah okay, i'll go with it then lol! :D**

* * *

35 Danny's POV

It was raining by the time we got home, I sighed, wishing that it wasn't, I had forgotten my jacket, it was still with Tom. At least it was with someone who needed something comforting. My feet dragged to Tom's house, I wanted to see Carrie for a little while, in the vain hope that she would have some good idea to try and cheer Tom up. Or at least think of something that would mean that Tom was allowed out of the ward for at least a few hours. I didn't bother calling, it didn't feel right in here, it was Tomless. It needed Tom here, then it would feel complete.

I found Carrie in the front room, curled up on the sofa, fast asleep. She had flour and what looked like chocolate in her hair and her pyjamas. D*mn she reminded me of Tom. He used to sleep like this on the sofa all the time, when he was well, it had been so cute. "Carrie, wake up a minute." I whispered and poked her in the arm, she reached out blindly to push me away. "Carrie please, wake up. I want to talk to you, about Tom." I whispered, managing to wake her up a bit. "huh? What about Tom?" Carrie turned round to face me, yawning loudly. "he _needs _to get out of the ward, for a few hours, or a day, or something! And I need you to help me come up with something. Harry and Dougie have no clue at all on what to do, you could. You know Tom the best, please tell me you have any clues, anything at all that could help get him out for a few hours!" I pleaded, Tom had to get out of the ward, he _had _to. He needed a few hours away, so he could breathe, and be happy, or at least calm.

"well to start off with, do _you _want Tom out of the ward because you miss him so much. Or does Tom really want out, and would it actually benefit him to go out for a few hours?" Carrie asked, what kind of question was that?! "of course Tom wants out! I wouldn't try to get him out unless it was for him, I swear! He's so depressed there, he can't breathe, he couldn't stop crying today, the look in his eyes, it was horrible to see the how dead his eyes are." Tom's eyes had been glazed over and unfocused before he went in, but now, they were dead. They were focused and dead, completely dead. All that sparkle had gone from his eyes, all the playful energy and happiness and love had been drained from him. The only thing left was the tears, that fell like a waterfall over his beautiful face. "oh, so did he actually ask to be taken home then?" Carrie asked, holding my hands gently for support. Her hands were almost as big as Toms, and as warm, and smooth, the only difference was that they clearly hadn't been through the years and years of guitar playing Tom's had.

"yeah, he did, like he does every single day." I wished more than anything that I could, I wanted nothing more than to pick Tom up and take him home, bring him back here, hold him and love him with everything I could. "alright, thats a starting point. Thats a very good starting point, right, can you think of any arguments to use that say that going out for a while will help Tom get better in any way? That his doctor can actually take into account and see for himself." Carrie sat back down on the sofa, bringing me to sit opposite her. "I can only think of the fact that they make him so depressed there. Really, they make him _so depressed, _its horrible. Being shut inside all day without even being able to open a window causes Tom's mood to plummet, he may like sitting inside all day, but he still likes feeling the sun on his face. And the option to walk around freely...he was _so happy _when we ran around outside a while ago, I haven't seen him look so happy since new year." That was pretty convincing, right? Doctor Scott had seen how happy Tom had been when we were outside, he had seen Tom laughing and running around freely, right? He had noticed how depressed Tom was, so he surely knew that something had to be done, right?

"yeah, that could work, try that. Also, maybe we should plan out a trip, to show exactly what we want to do. So all he has to do is approve of it and sort out when you can all go out." Carrie was sometimes a genius, I swear. "you are a genius, you know that right?" I smiled, hugging her tight. "well, I try my best, now what do you want to together?" Carrie grabbed a notepad and pen, starting to write down any idea we could come up with. They were all pretty bad to be honest, and they were silly little things, like going to hang out at the park, and just coming back here, sitting around here like we used to. If we got Tom out for a few hours, I wanted to do something special with him, that him feel special and loved, and most importantly, _happy. _I wanted Tom to feel good, even if it was only just for a few hours. There would be no point in getting Tom outside in the real world for the first time in two months, probably get him all excited because he was outside, only to disappoint him when we didn't do anything fun.

"Danny, sometimes, simple is better, you know? You know Tom right now, he used to get excited just going to the supermarket. And considering he hasn't been outside the fences at the hospital in two months, I don't think he's going to care that you're not going somewhere exciting. I think the park would be perfect, or maybe coming home...actually, thats a very good idea..." Carrie trailed off, before going into a full scale explanation over coming home would be a really good idea, and I had to agree, it was a very good idea.

36 Tom's POV

The next day, I woke up to another wet pillow after another bad dream. I turned it over and tried to sleep for a while longer, but I couldn't, someone was screaming outside the door. _Another crazy person, probably being beaten up by the orderlies. _Yeah, it probably was, I hated them, they were so mean. They didn't care about anything, just wanted things to be done as quickly as possible, even though it hurt me and the others when they did. _They just hurt you. No-one else, unless they're being bad. _Oh, yeah, I guess they did. _Now be quiet, maybe they'll forget about you today. _

I laid still, completely still, listening to the screaming going on outside. It was still so dark in here, the sun wasn't up yet, how was there someone already screaming and going crazy? _Well I don't know, maybe because its a CRAZY PEOPLE HOME. _But, why this early? _They don't control the craziness, do they? No, now shut up thinking, they can probably hear you. _Sorry, _shut up you twit! _I didn't answer, curling up a bit tighter in my blankets, feeling cold. The screaming stopped and there was a bit of a thump outside, it was quiet again, really, really quiet. I didn't like the quiet much, it was scary, it was just...too quiet. I missed hearing Danny snore next to me, his warm arms around me. _He won't be snoring behind you until you're better and you will NEVER get better. There's always something wrong, you're never getting out of here. Get used to sleeping alone. _Could this person shut up now? I didn't want to know about that! Could I just stay hopeful that Danny would get me out of here? _No. Now shut up, there's footsteps. Pretend to be asleep. _

I scrunched my eyes up as the door clicked open, footsteps came closer, I made a noise by accident. "you awake?" an orderly asked, poking my arm a little. _Don't, say, a, word, got it? _I nodded, wait... I didn't mean to do that! "right, I'll go get your sleeping pills. You're the kid who doesn't feed himself aren't you?" I nodded a little, _because you're stupid. _"alright, I'll go get the injection needle instead." The footsteps went away, the door closed. _Great, now you're going to sleep again, to wake up with an even wetter pillow. Do you even know when to stop crying? Its night time and when you sleep you _don't _cry. _Well, I did! My bad dreams weren't nice, I didn't like them! They made water come out of my eyes and my pillow wet, I didn't know I was crying when I was sleeping! _Well, you should. _The door opened again, and the footsteps came back in again.

"arm." The man said, I gave him my arm. It was better to just give it to him, so I didn't end up more purple. "with the sleeve rolled up." He sighed, _still can't do things right I see. _I rolled my sleeve up, letting him push the very big needle into my arm, feeling stuff flow into my arm. "now go to sleep, you'll be woken up for breakfast in the morning." The footsteps went away, leaving me to see blackness with no voices until the sun was up again. I was pulled down to the breakfast hall, given some dry cereal and had another needle stuck into my arm. I was told that I needed a bath, and got pulled back to my room. But, half way there, when passed Doctor Scotts office, I heard Danny's voice! I turned round, and he was there! He was early! Really, really early!

"Danny!" I pulled out of the orderly arms and ran down the corridor, jumping into his arms. "Tommy! I didn't expect to see you this early!" Danny hugged me tightly, everyone did, I felt so safe! Wait...why would he be here if he didn't expect to see me here now? "sorry Doctor, he just ran off." The orderly was telling Doctor Scott. "thats alright, couldn't be helped." The doctor answered at the same time as me when I asked Danny why he didn't think he would be seeing me right now. "because I came here to talk to Doctor Scott first, there's a few things we want to talk about. Then we'll be with you, and not a minute later than usual, I promise." Danny smiled, kissing me gently. I couldn't kiss back still, but I still liked being kissed, it made my tummy feel all funny. "okay, can I stay with you right now?" I asked, I was supposed to be with Doctor Scott for the next two hours. "er, no you can't Tom. Not right now. Maybe later on?" Harry told me, rubbing my back. "oh, okay. Can I stay with any of you?" I didn't want to be left with the scary orderly man when my friends were here. "how about you and Dougie go and do something together, while me, Harry and Carrie talk to Doctor Scott." Danny suggested, I nodded, finally seeing Carrie.

"Carrie!" I jumped from Danny's arm into hers, I hadn't seen her! "hey Tom, I missed you too! Now go along and play with Dougie, we'll be over soon. I've made something special for you later on." Carrie hugged me before pushed me a little to Dougie, who held my hand. "come on Tom, show me how good you're getting at playing Safe and Sound." Dougie pulled me down the hallway and down the music room, he didn't hurt when he pulled me, he was gentle, I liked Dougie.


	20. Chapter 20

**LittleLouiseeee - yeah Tom's improving slowly, day by day, little by little! :D**

* * *

37 Dougie's POV

Tom was getting quite good at playing Safe and Sound, I guess he had had a lot of time to practise, or had heard it enough times inside his head to be able to play it reasonably well. "you're getting good." I complemented him, making a blush turn up on Tom's pale cheeks. "so, wanna go back to your room and do something there?" I asked, Tom nodded, letting me lead him by his hand back to his room. It looked the same as it did every day, white and boring, with only a few of Tom's belongings to show it was actually his room.

I sat down on the bed and switched on the TV, finding some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to watch, not sure what else to do. At home, I had had a better idea, being here through me off, because I couldn't suggest a fridge raid, or possibly going outside for a while to have a play with our skateboards. But Tom rested his head on my chest, hugging me close with a soft smile on his face, seemingly not caring about my problem. "ha, you have noodles on your tshirt." Tom laughed a little, I looked down at my Zukie noodles tshirt. "yeah, its part of the design." I didn't really know what else to say to him. "thats weird." Tom answered, scrunching his nose a little. "yeah, well I'm a little weird, so its alright." I shrugged, laughing a little.

Tom didn't have a reply to that, just hugged me tight until Harry, Danny and Carrie came in. Within seconds, Tom was somehow off the bed and into Danny's arms, I don't think he even knew how he did it, he was _that _quick. "hey Tommy, I'm back, and not a minute late either, just like I promised." Danny grinned, Harry wrapped me into his arms at the same time. "did it go well then?" I whispered, ignoring Tom and Danny a little as they embraced each other like they hadn't seen each other in months. "well, he's considering it, so nothings definite, but we made a pretty convincing case to be honest. So just, keep shhh for a while, in case he says no." Harry explained, kissing my hair gently. "okay." I nodded, glad that Doctor Scott was at least considering letting Tom out for the day, he needed it, he needed some quality time with Danny, out in the sunlight, free from this place.

"Tom, want to see my special surprise for you?" Carrie asked softly, making Tom look up from his place in Danny's neck. "you made a special surprise?!" Tom's eyes widened, I guess he hadn't heard what Carrie had said earlier on. "yeah, didn't you hear me earlier? I made some goodies last night, thought they would cheer you up a little." Carrie smiled, sitting down on the bed and bringing a plastic box from her bag, filled with cookies. "cookies?! You brought cookies?!" Tom looked at them with the biggest eyes ever, like he was completely shocked by the appearance of cookies. "yep, spent a couple of hours making them last night." Carrie handed us all a cookie each, the lot of us munching on them together. Danny, as usual, fed Tom his half of a rather large cookie.

"they're really good." Harry commented, squeezing my hand gently. "they are. I'm guessing this is why you were covered in flour and chocolate?" Danny agreed, finishing off licking away the spare chocolate off his fingers. "thanks, and yeah, you know I can't bake anything without getting everywhere." Carrie blushed, unsuccessfully trying to tuck a bit of her hair behind her ear. "yeah, we know from experience." Danny laughed, ruffling his boyfriends sisters hair. Said boyfriend was cuddling up in his brunette lovers arms, playing with the large freckled hand on his hip.

Danny didn't seem to notice, just let Tom do whatever he wanted to his hand, slowly working his way up his tattooed arm. "Danny...why did you come here early?" Tom asked, looking up at last. "huh? Oh, because we had to discuss some things with Doctor Scott, and we didn't want to lose any time with you, so we came early." Danny explained, gently tracing patterns over his back. "oh, like what? Is it about going home?" Tom looked up at the four of us hopefully. "something like that Tommy, something like that." Danny ran his hand over Tom's face gently, with half a smile on his face.

38 Harry's POV

"you've cheered up a bit from yesterday." Danny commented after a few minutes of silence. "because you were here earlier than normal." Tom smiled a little, for the first time in weeks. "aw, did you end up talking to Doctor Scott about what made you so sad yesterday?" Danny asked, somehow managing to move so he was leant against the wall, Tom still in his lap. "no, I haven't seen him today." Tom shook his head, wriggling around so he was leaning on Danny's shoulder. "oh, okay. Makes sense really. Well you need to at some point, alright?" Danny sighed, leaning his head on his lovers. "I know." Tom mumbled, nodding a little. "good boy." Danny kissed Tom's hair gently, running his fingers over his arm soothingly.

Soon after, we had to go home, and leave Tom on his own again. His face fell when the orderly grabbed hold of his arm, looking up at him with a terrified expression. "I love you Tommy. Never forget that, alright? I love you so much." Danny whispered, framing Tom's face with his hands, kissing him gently. "I do too." Tom whimpered, writhing to push himself into Danny's arms. "I know you do. Now I have to go, I'll phone you later on, I love you." Danny squeezed his lover tight. "we'll talk to you later on tonight. Bye Tom." I gave Tom a hug, he was shaking. "bye Tom." Dougie whispered, managing to give Tom a hug too. "please come tomorrow." Tom whimpered, leaning into Danny's chest, the orderlies hand still gripping tightly onto his shoulder.

"we will, I promise. We'll come back tomorrow, as we always do." Danny kissed Tom's hair. "can you come tomorrow again?" Tom looked at Carrie, whimpering quietly. "of course Tom, of course I'll come tomorrow." Carrie smiled, wrapping her brother into her arms. "we'll make more cookies if you like." I managed a bit of a smile. "yeah, thank you." Tom nodded. "alright, we'll make you some more cookies." Danny smiled, before Tom was yanked out of our arms. "you need to get moving now. You screwed up this mornings session, Tom _needs _a session right now." The orderly growled, Tom whimpered loudly.

"fine. Well, I'll talk to you later Tommy, I love you." Danny managed to press one last kiss to Tom's pale head, before we were made to go. We got pushed down one corridor while poor Tom was yanked roughly down the opposite end, crying and whimpering weakly. Danny wasn't in a much better state himself, managing to just about keep in tears, keeping up the almost tough facade all day, even on the phone with Tom, just focusing on trying to think of things to do if we did get Tom out for the day. He also ended up helping Carrie make cookies, which seemed to keep him occupied for an hour, then he was back to worrying.

"Danny, its fine. We'll get Tom out. We put in the best case we could for him." I sighed, rubbing Danny's arm as he slumped to sit on the table. "yeah, I just wish that we knew if we could take Tom out, not knowing is horrible. If he is coming out, I need to make preparations, get things ready for him. And if not, I need to come up with a better plan that will change that doctors mind." Danny bit at his lip, he looked so lost in Tom's house without his boyfriend by his side. "we'll find out soon enough Danny, I'm sure. And even if the answers no, we can still try and let them let us take Tom out into that garden thing we were running around in a while ago." I encouraged, leaning my head on Danny's as he leant his on my shoulder. "yeah, I guess." Danny sighed, seemingly giving in to just sitting down for a few minutes.

It took us days to find out whether or not we could take Tom out, Doctor Scott wasn't exactly keen on the idea at all. He thought it would be a danger to Tom's health if we took him outside, none of us saw how, I mean, there would be at least the three of us there to make sure he stayed safe. And we were only going home, what kind of damage could be done in Tom's own house?! I mean, yes, he had caused himself a lot of damage in the house, but not in a long while, not since he had become, well, an over grown child. None of us understood _how _it could put Tom in any kind of danger, he was already a mess, and going home for a few hours could have really helped him, why couldn't anyone else but us see that?


	21. Chapter 21

**Quick Notice: i may not be able to add tomorrow, because i'm out with my family tomorrow, if i do update, it'll be quite late, sorry about that!**

* * *

39 Danny's POV

Eventually, after almost a week of hoping that the verdict would be a 'yes' Doctor Scot _finally _told us if he thought that Tom could come home with us for a day. He called us in early, and as I stood in his office (Tom wasn't here, he was...somewhere, the doctor hadn't told us where he was) I put my crossed fingers behind my back, pleading whatever higher power there was that he was agreeing to us. "so, after much deliberation, I have decided that, yes, you can bring Tom home. But, just for the day, and I have a few conditions you _must _follow." I cheered at the words, I could bring Tom home! I didn't care about any conditions we had to follow, I could bring Tom home! Actually give him what he wanted so badly, for the first time in weeks I could actually tell him I could bring him home!

"whats the conditions?" Harry asked, putting his hand on my shoulder to make me listen. "I only have a few, and they're just to make sure Tom is safe, and that he comes back. I know you lot have a history of running from hospitals. Now, to make sure Tom will be returning, I am coming with you. Its also to observe how Tom is in his normal surroundings, and maybe talk to him a little, which could help in further sessions. Also, I want to keep Tom on the medication he is being given here, just to make sure that he's not as prone to 'freak out' as you put it." Doctor Scott explained, they seemed reasonable enough. Well, the medication thing was, maybe not the fact that he was following us.

"do you _have _to come with us? Tom's not going to be in danger with us, I promise! We can take good care of him, we did while he was with us before. We kept him calm and everything in Covent Gardens, and at the beach, and a few other places." I knew I should have been grateful because we were actually getting Tom home with us, but it was still not exactly as perfect as I planned knowing that this doctor would be there, constantly reminding him that he wasn't home forever. "well would you prefer it to be one of the orderlies?" Doctor Scott raised an eyebrow. "no! No, no of course not!" I think I felt a little sick at the thought of an orderly following us. They were _horrible, _I had seen how they treated poor little Tom. They were so rough with him, yanking him places roughly, not even letting him think about what was happening, just yanking him away to wherever they wanted him to go. They were so rough I wouldn't have been surprised if they had left bruises all the way up Tom's pale arms.

"good, so are we agreed? When do you plan on taking him home? It cannot be today, as there needs to be provisions made for other patients and such things." Doctor Scott warned, d*mn, I was hoping we could bring him home today. "guys, when do you think?" I turned to Harry and Dougie, wondering if they had any ideas. "well, how long are we going to have him for?" Harry looked from me to Dougie to the doctor. "I was thinking for the day. So you pick him up in the morning and you bring him back the following morning." My heart starting pounding at the thought. Keeping Tom for a whole twenty four hours?! I think right now, that was the definition of heaven! That meant I could actually fall asleep in bed with him, the thing I had been craving the most for _weeks._

"well Dan, its only a week off your birthday. Why don't we bring him home for then?" Harry gave me a smile, if I wasn't so in love with Tom and he wasn't married to Dougie, I would have kissed him right then! "yes! Yes, that idea is awesome! You're a genius Harry!" I grinned, settling to hug him tight instead. "I wouldn't go that far Danny." Harry laughed, giving me a tight squeeze. "still, that is the best idea ever!" I let him go a little, trying to act like that wasn't what I had been secretly hoping for since...well, I don't even know how long!

"alright, so when is that? So I can write it down and start making provisions." I gave the doctor the details, asking him to keep it a secret from Tom, so we could give him a big surprise. Tom loved surprises, and this one I knew would make him so happy, I just wanted to make him the happiest he could be. Going home for the day would leave a smile on his face for days, I knew, even when we got told to take him back again, it would still make him feel better to know he went home for a little while. And also, maybe, if we lucky, we could bring him home again at some point, and the idea of going would give him hope.

40 Tom's POV

Danny came running to me one day, he ran right into me, so both of us almost ended up on the floor! "Tommy! I'm so glad to see you!" Danny almost shouted, hugging me close. "I am too! Did you talk to Doctor Scott about going out?" I asked, Danny had been trying to get me out for a few days now. "well he's thinking about it right now. I'll let you know if he says yes." Danny told me, smiling really widely. He told me when he had to leave that he had a surprise for me in a few days. He told me he had a surprise every day for days, until it came round to his birthday. I had tried to make a drawing for him, but it didn't work. I was told by the mean lady that it wasn't good enough every time I tried to draw, I didn't like her.

"Tommy! I have good news!" Danny jumped on me on his birthday, his face showing a HUGE smile! "is it my surprise?" I asked, I hoped it was my surprise! _There is no surprise stupid! _Of course there was! He wouldn't say there was a surprise unless there was one! "yep! Wanna know what it is?" Danny tightened his hold on me as I nodded a lot. "well, go and get dressed in some nice jeans and a nice tshirt and I'll tell you your surprise, alright?" Danny teased, gently pushing me towards to the wardrobe. I grabbed a nice pair of jeans and my grey tshirt with the buttons on, running off into the bathroom to get changed into them. I had been in some pyjama bottoms and a huge tshirt with my hoodie, but if Danny wanted me in nicer clothes I wasn't going to say no. _Good boy, you can't say no to him or he'll leave you. _No he wouldn't. _Maybe not, but he would cheat on you again. _Shut up! I didn't like thinking about it!

"happy birthday Danny!" I ran back to him, trying to kiss him, not managing it, but he smiled anyway, so it didn't matter. "thank you Tommy. Now, wanna know your surprise?" Danny asked. "yeah!" I nodded, I really wanted to know it was! "how much do you want to know?" Danny teased, holding me close him, almost nose to nose. "this much!" I held out my arms as far as they could go. "wow! That is a lot! Well, I suppose I better tell you then, shouldn't I?" Danny leant even closer, leaning closer to whisper in my ear. "you're coming home with us today, and not coming back until tomorrow." Danny whispered, I think my insides exploded in excitement! "really?! I'm going home today?!" I shouted, Danny nodded.

"yay!" I jumped up and down, I couldn't believe it! Home! My home! Our home! Our actual home! Not this place! _Only for the day! _I didn't care, I was going HOME! "like the surprise?" Danny asked, catching me as I jumped again, holding me close to him. "yeah! I love it! Home!" I clapped with excitement, seeing Doctor Scott come into the room. "I'm coming with you today too. Thats okay with you isn't it Tom?" he asked, I nodded, I didn't care! Me and Danny were going home! And on his birthday! That was the most amazing news I have ever heard! "alright, now you need your medication before we go. So do you want it in your arm or do you want the pills?" Doctor Scott pulled out the bottle with the pills in. I still hadn't swallowed them yet, because no-one wanted to give them to me. But would it make Danny even happier is I took them like that? _No, because he'll have to do it for you. _But, I had to try. "pills please." I held out my hands for them, still being held in Danny's arms, my feet weren't even on the ground.

I got given two blue pill like things, I stared at them, they looked weird. "go on Tommy, quickly take them and then we can go." Danny told me, I started to put them in my mouth, but stopped half way there. There was still something in the way, I was sure there was. "want some help Tom?" Danny asked, I nodded a little. _Pathetic. _No, there was something in the way, something that only I could see. "there we go. Good boy. Now, I think its time to go home! The car is all ready and waiting." Danny suddenly chucked me over his shoulder, carrying me through the corridors, making me feel all dizzy because I was laughing too much and because I was upside down!

Harry and Dougie were through the big doors with the metal strips, writing things down on paper at the main desk. "ah, I see that birthday boy has found you then?" Dougie laughed, I hadn't heard him laugh in a long time. "yep, found him and now we're ready to go!" Danny let me sit up so I could see our friends. "right, well thats everything signed, we better get moving then! We've got a lot to do today!" Harry grabbed Dougie's hand, the four of us running outside and into the car, taking me home for the first time in I don't know how long. I was so excited!


	22. Chapter 22

**monkeywaiters - hmmm wait and see! ;)**

* * *

41 Harry's POV

Tom literally ended up dragging Danny out of the ward and towards the car, still in such a excitable state. It was like he was a seven year old boy after being told he was going to Disney land for the first time, I was half surprised that he wasn't screaming and jumping up and down. Actually it was a shock that both him and Danny weren't jumping up and down and screaming, this was all Danny had been talking about at home all week. Literally, he hadn't talked about anything else, preparing the whole house for Tom's arrival, changing the bed sheets (though before he had been adamant to keep them exactly the same before) preparing anything he could for Tom, making Tom's own house even more Tom friendly...if that was actually possible.

Arriving home was amazing, to see Tom's reaction to his own house, literally running up the path and almost knocking Carrie over as the siblings ran into each other! "hey Tom, I'm glad to see you too!" Carrie laughed, stumbling backwards a little, "hey, I'm making Danny's cake, you wanna help me?" Carrie half whispered, as per the plan. We had to stick to the plan, or we were scared that Doctor Scott wouldn't let us bring Tom home again. The siblings quickly ran off into the house, Danny quickly shouting for them to wait for him and darting off after them. I rolled my eyes at Dougie, who was grinning at the trio from next to me. "we gunna help with this or what?" he asked, eyes sparking with excitement, how could I resist that look? "well dur Dougs, we might end up hindering more than anything but, never mind." I lead us in, knowing that Dougie did quite like baking cakes, and spending with Tom, so this was perfect for him.

We found in the kitchen that everything was already out on the counters, including icing...yeah this was going to end _messy. _But I guess that was the point, as the reason that we were doing this was because Tom apparently needed to get more used to food and helping out other people. Two birds, one stone. Danny ended up helping Tom out, guiding his hands to do things, getting completely covered in flour, chocolate and egg. "ewww! Its all sticky!" Tom laughed a little, showing Danny his sticky fingers. "thats what happens when you play with eggs Tommy." Danny smiled, playfully licking one of Tom's fingers, making him squeak loudly. "ew!" Tom giggled again, just getting Danny grinning at him like a mad man.

"Danny, why are you looking at me weirdly?" Tom asked as Danny's face change from a massive smile into a cheeky 'I'm up to something' look. All of a sudden, he dived into Tom's neck, making the boy squeal loudly as he licked his neck like we were in the middle of a guitar solo on stage. "Danny no! No it tickles!" Tom squeaked, pushing Danny away playfully. Danny just laughed and dived to attack his pale cheek, laughing madly, pulling the both of them to the floor. "ah I missed you so much Tommy!" Danny grinned, kissing his lovers head as he giggled on top of him. "I missed you too!" Tom said through giggles, turning over in his lovers arms and hugging him tight.

The both of them refused to move from their spots from then on, until they had to move so we could put the cake in the oven to bake. But even when they stood up, they refused to move from each others arms, seemingly not caring about the fact that they were still sticky from the cake mix. Which, to be honest, was a good thing to see, seeing as Tom needed to get used to touching food. I don't think he even remembered he had cake mix all over his hands, and flour all over his clothes, he was just so focused on Danny's face. The world didn't exist for either of them.

42 Dougie's POV

The only reason Tom and Danny snapped out of their trance of each other, was because we had to make them move away from the fridge to put things back inside it, if we hadn't, I don't think either of them would have looked away from each other for hours. I felt so guilty for making them look away, they needed some sort of time together, before they were ripped apart again. Though, they didn't really seem to mind, looking more embarrassed than anything.

"Danny, my hands are still sticky." Tom pouted a little, holding his hands up for Danny to see. "huh? Oh yeah, lets wash them off...and get you cleaned up. You're all covered in flour!" Danny snapped back into the room, washing their hands in the sink and brushing the flour off Tom's skinny body. "so what do you want to do now while we wait for the cake to finish?" Harry asked, picking at a loose thread on the hole at the knee of my jeans. I was sat on the counter behind him, my legs around his waist, so he could easily pick at the threads.

"I dunno. Tommy, what would you like to do?" Danny rested his hands on Tom's hips, kissing his cheek. "dunno. Its your birthday, you decide." Tom shrugged, blushing at the kiss a little. "hmm, I have no clue, honestly. Did we actually plan anything?" Danny asked us, I didn't think we had. We had planned the cake making, and obviously the eating later on... I had no clue what else we were supposed to be doing today. "I don't think we've got anything planned, so how about we lounge about for a while?" Harry shrugged too, giving up on the threads, tracing patterns he wasn't really looking at on my exposed skin instead. "well if there's nothing planned, can I steal Tom for a few minutes?" Doctor Scott suddenly made himself known, great, I had been hoping he would be quiet and stay out of our day. "why?" Danny turned round, pulling Tom closer to himself.

"I want to talk to him, thats why." Doctor Scott gave us a _look, _the look that clearly said he could snap his fingers and Tom would be taken from us again. "fine, go and talk to Doctor Scott for a few minutes Tommy, we'll go and find something to do." Danny sighed, reluctantly making Tom go to see his doctor with a sigh. Tom dragged his feet so much they barely left the floor, whimpering quietly to himself. "did he just have to spoil the moment?" I sighed, flopping down to lean my head on top of Harrys. "well we couldn't expect him to leave us alone _all _day really." Harry squeezed my fingers reassuringly.

"yeah I guess." Danny chewed on his lip, looking lost again without Tom there. "hey, he'll be back in a few minutes. How about if we go and set something up that we can all do?" Harry suggested, pulling me off the counter and piggy backing me upstairs. We ended up doing our usual trick of setting up a DVD, not sure what else we could really do with Tom. Though, I had an idea before he came back, running off to get out the army men and setting them out on the floor. Tom came back once I finished setting them out, pulling down his sleeves and practically jumping into Danny's awaiting arms. "hey, wanna play with the army men with Doug's?" Danny whispered, tracing patterns on his lovers leg.


	23. Chapter 23

**monkeywaiters - yeah, it can't last forever, but it can last a little while longer!**

* * *

43 Danny's POV

Tom shook his head gently at my question, deciding that he wanted to lay on my chest and cuddle for a while. I wasn't going to complain, I loved and had missed hugging Tom close to me. Especially when he looked half asleep too, holding onto my shirt and using my chest as a pillow. It pained me to wake him up when the cake was finishing baking, jar him out of his half asleep state. "wake up a little while Tommy, we've got a cake to decorate and eat!" I nudged his shoulder gently, kissing his hair. "no, sleepy and comfy!" Tom just made a cute whining sound, dragging out his words like the most adorable toddler.

"aw, come on Tommy. You'll enjoy this. I'll let you draw pictures with the icing." I kissed him again as I took him downstairs, my god I had missed carrying him around the house, feeling his little hands fist onto my hoodie. Which was actually his, though he didn't notice. I put Tom down on the floor in front of the counter where the chocolate cake was cooling down. "can I help draw?" Tom asked quietly, looking out at the multicoloured icing tubes we had. "of course you can Tommy." I smiled, watching him reach out and grab a blue icing tube.

Toms hand squeezed the tube and he started drawing out blue swirls around the outside. Then, the green icing followed the blue, white dots being made in between each swirl. Tom was surprisingly creative for someone who could just about dress himself (his belt was just a notch too loose still, making his trousers fall half way down his backside) the patterns were intricate and something I would have expected from him when he was 'normal'. It was beautiful. Soon, red and orange were joining in, writing 'happy birthday Danny!' in the colours, including a few stars, and a lightning bolt. "that looks amazing Tom!" Dougie commented when he saw it, jumping onto the counter. "it does! That looks awesome!" Harry agreed, ruffling Tom's hair gently, making him giggle loudly.

"its beautiful Tommy, thank you." I kissed Tom's cheek gently, taking a picture of the cake on my phone, setting it as my background. Carrie put some candles in between the swirls and dots, careful not to mess up a even a little of the decoration. "gunna help me blow out the candles?" I asked as they were lit, watching Tom's eyes widen like he had never seen fire before. "they're glowing!" Tom looked in awe at the candles, reaching out to touch them. "don't touch them Tommy, they're hot!" I pulled his hands back, pulling him closer to me, even though we were already plastered together. Everyone else started singing happy birthday as the lights turned off, leaving only the candles illuminating our faces, until, with Tom's help, we blew them out. He burst out giggling again, saying that it was magic that the candles went off. I really shouldn't have that thought it was adorable, but it was, how something as simple is candles captured Tom's attention and fascinated him. I ended up relighting the candles six times, just to see Tom laugh and be mesmerised by the candles.

It was the happiest I had seen him in months, since new year. He was just so happy right now, it had been all I had wanted, for him to be happy today. So when I finally managed to cut my cake so we could eat it, I didn't even think of the harm I could cause myself with the thing. I still had the thoughts, all the time, and I had slipped a few times, but today, the thought didn't even occur to me at all. All because of Tom's smile, his beautiful smile and his perfect laugh, his tiny little body pressed against mine in the longest hug I had had in months.

The cake was delicious too, our cake baking skills turned out to not be that bad. It was a gooey, chocolaty mess, just how we liked. And it somehow didn't get everywhere either, which was a good point too. The rest of the day was spent eating the cake (it had sort of disappeared by the end of the day...woops) and watching films, and ordering Chinese when we realised that we were _still _hungry. Tom managed almost a full meal with no fuss at all, something that had apparently not happened in a while. He had fought against the orderlies apparently, but with me, he was willing and happily ate whatever I gave to him. I was proud of him for that, for being good and doing as he was told. But I guessed that it was because it was me telling him to do things. Oh well, as long as he was happy and didn't mind. It was rare to have Tom happy right now, and I mean genuinely happy with nothing constantly reminding him of his situation. And as long as Tom was happy being home for the day, I wasn't going to complain.

44 Tom's POV

I fell asleep lightly on Danny's chest on the sofa after dinner. I didn't want to, but he was so warm and I was still so tired. I couldn't sleep at the ward properly, because it wasn't comfy and there wasn't anyone to cuddle. Here, I could cuddle Danny and feel him hug me too, and hear him talking. I liked his voice, it was nice to hear, it was a bit of comfort to me. Soon, I felt myself moving, being taken upstairs and into bed, I made a whining sound when I felt cold. "shh, I'll be back in a minute Tommy." Danny whispered, kissing my head gently.

He walked away a little, I opened my eyes to watch him close the curtains and take his top and his trousers off. He put on another tshirt and got back into bed with me, hugging me close to him. I hugged him back, I had missed hugging him in bed so much. Being in bed alone wasn't nice, it was too cold, I didn't feel safe. I felt safe in his arms. "I missed this so much." Danny whispered, holding me close. "I missed this too." I told him, wriggling closer. "I know, I've missed you so much, you have no idea." Danny kissed me, my tummy started to scrunch up like it always did. "I do. I missed you! I couldn't sleep or anything!" I had missed cuddling with Danny all day, being told he loved me, falling asleep in his arms. Even if he did cheat on me, I still loved him, and he still made me feel safe. "I couldn't either. Come here, I've missed you so much and I love you, so much. You know that I do love you don't you? And that its for the best that you're at the ward, right? I'm not trying to get rid of you or anything." Danny looked right into my eyes, I nodded. I knew that he wanted me to be happy, I knew that. Even if it meant that the person who always talked to me was there, and my arms hurt all the time, and they were mean to me there.

"good, cause honestly, I love you so much, I just want you to be happy." Danny promised, kissing me again, even though I didn't kiss back, no matter how hard I tried. "I know." I yawned a little, feeling tired now. "good, okay, its time to go to sleep. We both need it." Danny kissed me one last time, putting his head against mine, starting to make the same snoring sounds he always did. I fell asleep too as I heard them, I had missed hearing him snore next to my ear, his arms around me, in this bed. Everything I wanted was in this house, I didn't want to go back to the ward again, I really didn't. I was safe here, and happy. I felt happy here, and like I was liked, no-one liked me at the ward, it was too cold in there, and I hadn't ever felt like I was liked there. I wanted to stay in this house, in my home.

I woke up in the morning, no-one had screamed in the night, I hadn't woken up at all for anything. It felt nice, I didn't feel tired. _Don't get used to it. You'll be back to the ward soon. _Shut up, I was happy right here. "huh Tommy? What are you on about?" Danny asked, running his hand over my cheek. _Say nothing. _"nothing." I cuddled closer to him. "okay...wanna have a shower and get changed? Maybe find a few cartoons to watch?" Danny's huge hand pulled me even closer, I was almost on top of him. "yeah, will you get in with me?" I nodded, I didn't want to be away from Danny at all. "of course Tommy." Danny kissed my shoulder, taking us to the bathroom.

He showered with his underwear still on with me, holding me close, not letting me go at all. "what happened to your arms?" he pulled my arm from him to look at the big purple mark on my arm. _Don't tell him. _"the orderly pulled me hard, it hurt." I told him, maybe Danny could stop it? "ouch, is that like all the other bruises?" I nodded at his question, seeing all the other purple and yellow marks over my arms. "stupid people. Tell them to be more careful, they're hurting you." Danny squeezed my hand, taking me into the wardrobe. I got dressed in his jeans and his hoodie, because I didn't have that many clothes here left.

We managed to eat breakfast together too, and cuddle for a while, before Doctor Scott turned up, telling me I had to go back to the ward with him. "can't it be a little later? Can we bring him back during visiting hours?" Danny pleaded, the doctor shook his head. "no, thats not what we agreed. We agreed that I would bring Tom back with me this morning, so we could have a normal session and not disrupt the normal routine too much. So Tom, get your stuff and get in the car." Doctor Scott ordered. _You're making him angry, very, very angry. _"please, can I at least bring him back?" Danny pushed me behind him, holding onto me tightly. "no, I don't know if you'll try to make an escape with Tom. So he's coming with me." Doctor Scott told us, I started crying. I didn't want to go back! I wanted to stay here, where it was safe and warm and I could cuddle with Danny all day! I was happy here, why couldn't I stay?! "Tom stop being silly, you knew this was happening." Doctor Scott grabbed hold of my arm, I cried out, I didn't want to go!

"shh Tommy, calm down a little. You've got to with him, but I'll be back later on. And I'll bring the last of the cake, alright?" Danny reasoned, _he's not even fighting for you. _"please, let me stay! I don't want to go!" I cried, I wanted to stay so badly! "well you can't stay, now get in the car Tom." The doctor pushed me into the car, driving away from my home and everything that made me feel safe. "I hate you! I hate you so much!" I cried, only being told to be quiet or I wouldn't ever be let out to go home again.


	24. Chapter 24

**monkeywaiters - oh no don't cry! *hands tissue* **

* * *

45 Danny's POV

I felt so powerless as I watched Tom be almost pushed into Doctor Scott's car, the poor boy pleading to stay here, in his home. Only to be ignored and pushed into the car, next to an orderly in the back seat. He gave Tom a filthy look as he pressed his face against the window, sobbing against it as he looked at me with such a hurt look it made me cry. I hadn't thought this would happen, I knew Tom would have been upset about going back to the ward, but I hadn't expected him to start pleading me to let him stay home, looking so heartbroken. I had thought I would be able to drive him back, and help settle Tom back into the ward, not have to just stand here and watch the person who was supposed to be helping him manhandle him like he was nothing. The bruises on Tom's arms made a little sense now, judging by how rough they had just handled him.

The car drove off with Tom still crying almost hysterically in the back, I could almost hear him crying, even as he got driven away from me. The sound of Tom crying haunted my mind, he only wanted some more comfort, that was all, couldn't they give him that? Just a bit of comfort and reassurance that its going to be okay? Or was I the only person in the world who knew that that was what Tom wanted? "we'll go to see Tom later on, probably have to calm him down, but we'll go down there and see him, alright?" Carrie came up, looking like she had only just crawled out of bed, I think she had. "yeah I know. But, I wish they wouldn't as d*mn rough with him. Tom's only fragile, they shouldn't manhandle him like that, or tell him he's being silly when he just wants to be here with us." I sighed, giving her an one armed hug that I think we both needed.

I managed to pull myself together before Harry and Dougie came round, stopping myself crying distracting myself by counting down the minutes until I could see Tom. I hadn't realised until yesterday just how much I did miss Tom, missed seeing him in the house, hearing him talk to me and hug me. Everywhere I went, I felt empty without Tom there, it was like a part of my soul had been ripped out and was with Tom. It was like when he ran away, only worse, because I knew exactly where he was and wasn't allowed to be with him all the time. I wished I was, just so I could look after him, make sure the staff at the ward didn't hurt Tom too much, and so I knew he was safe.

"Dan, we're going to make a move in a while, ready to come with us?" Harry snapped me from my thoughts. "yeah, yeah. Sorry, just zoned out." I stood up and grabbed my jacket and my guitar, just in case Tom nodded to hear Safe And Sound. "its alright, come on. Wanna talk about it later on?" Harry asked, holding onto my hand, sometimes I loved that we were all so close to each other, so I didn't have to say that I needed to talk to someone. "yeah, thanks." I smiled a little, letting Harry hug me close. "no worries Danny. Now come on, we better go see Tom for a while, just to make sure he's okay." Harry let me go and pulled me to the car, driving off to the ward.

"ah, and how did I know you would turn up today?" Doctor Scott raised his eyebrow the second we saw him. "well we turn up every day, why wouldn't we today?" I put on my best warning tone, trying to hide how nervous I felt about why exactly we were being greeted by this man before we saw Tom. "well whatever, you might as well go home now, as you won't be getting much out of Tom right now." The doctor told us. "well why not? Just because he might be silent with you doesn't mean he'll be silent with us." Harry tightened his grip on my side, like he knew I would run off to Tom's room. "he's sleeping, thats why he isn't in a state to talk right now. He was out of control when we got back here, so we had to intervene." Doctor Scott explained, he had seriously sent him to sleep again?

"couldn't you have just talked to him to calm him down instead of just solving everything by making him go to sleep?" I tried not to sound hurt, I didn't like the idea that these people were drugging my poor boyfriend into sleep. There were better ways to calm Tom down, like simply treating him like a human and talking to him, maybe even giving him a hug. "I tried that, and Tom didn't listen. It was either send him to sleep or put him in an isolation room so he could calm himself down. I think letting him sleep was better for him, don't you?" the doctor raised an eyebrow. "fine, can't we see him anyway?" I wanted to see Tom anyway, just to make sure that he was okay. I wouldn't be happy until I knew that he was at least alright, not slumped in a corner by himself. "erm, no, you can't. Phone later on at the normal time." With that, we actually got pushed back out again, and made to go home. I couldn't believe it, since when weren't we allowed to see Tom?!

46 Tom's POV

I woke up in my room at the ward on my own. I missed Danny and everyone already, I wanted to go home! Home was nice and warm and safe, I liked home. "oh you're finally up. Thats good. You've got a session to go to." An orderly grabbed me and pulled me down the corridor to Doctor Scotts office, pushing me into a chair. He looked annoyed with me, very annoyed with me. _You're for it, nice job stupid. _"now Tom, before we start, could you be honest with me?" he sounded a little calm..._nod. _I nodded a little. "good, now have you been given any medication today? When you were still at your house, or do you need some now?" _you haven't, don't say anything. _But I had said I would be honest..._you want to be a better person, right? _Yes, I wanted to go home again. _Then listen to me and do as I say. _But, I didn't like your voice. _Don't care, don't say a word. _"Tom? Answer me." Doctor Scott snapped his fingers in front of my face.

"I haven't." I wanted the voice to go away for a little while, I didn't like what they said to me, it seemed wrong. _You idiot, you complete idiot. You're on your own now. _A needled stuck into my arm, something went inside my arm and the voice went quiet. "good boy. Now, can you please explain to me why you fought against us earlier on, when you knew that you had to come back here today." Doctor Scott asked, I shrugged, I didn't want to talk about it. "Tom, come on. Why did you decide that it was a good idea to try and run away and scream and cry, and tell us that you hated us? We're only trying to help you, so you can go home and stay home." Doctor Scott gave me a mean look, a really mean look. "I just... I want to go home. I miss home." I told him, looking away from him. "and why do you miss home? You spent all day yesterday at home, we let you out, which is something we don't usually do. Your friends have been convincing me for weeks to let you go home for a day, why did you act like and throw it back in their faces?" he asked, wait...they had?

"they had been planning it for weeks?" I asked, I didn't know that. "yes, Danny, Harry, Dougie and Carrie have been planning this for ages. They knew like you did that you were only allowed out for the day, and that you had to come home today. Why did you feel the need to make a fuss about coming home?" Doctor Scott made me feel so bad. I didn't know that it had been planned for weeks, I had just wanted to stay home for a while longer, that was all. Or to be brought back here by Danny, so I could have a long good bye hug and feel better about being back here again. "I don't know... I just like home a lot. And Danny, and everyone else." I hadn't known that I was messing things up. "I know you do. But do you see that you basically ruined the time you had together by doing that?" what?! I had ruined it?! "I-I didn't ruin it completely, did I?" I asked, I hoped not, I didn't want to ruin anything.

"not completely. But I suggest you apologise when you next to Danny. And also tell Harry and Dougie that you miss them too, you never told them yesterday that you missed them. You only told Danny." I did? Oh... I was sure I had said that I missed everyone... I did, didn't I? "oh... I didn't know I was messing things up." I whispered, I felt really bad now. I missed everyone, I really did, and I was so happy yesterday, I didn't mean to hurt anyone but not telling them I missed them. Maybe this was why Danny had cheated on me, if he had actually cheated on me, because I didn't tell everyone that I loved them enough and because I wrecked things. I didn't know I was doing it, I just got distracted by things. "well now you do. Now are you going to behave next time if your allowed out again? And the next time you see your friends?" I nodded at the doctor. I would behave and be good, so I didn't ruin things again.

"good, I'm glad we had this talk. Now, I think we should also discuss how you felt yesterday, like we did at the house. How did you sleep last night?" Doctor Scott asked me, so I told him everything he wanted to know, so I could go to my room again. My room was quiet and I wasn't in the way there. I didn't want to ruin any ones plans again, I wanted to hide right now. I just felt so bad, because I wasn't being nice to my friends. They had planned something nice for me and I had ruined it this morning, at least only Danny had seen me, but everyone else was going to find out. I was going to be in trouble for it, so much trouble.

"well I think we got a lot out in the open today Tom. So is there anything else you want to talk about?" Doctor Scott made me stop thinking. I shook my head, I wanted to go to bed again, or phone everyone and tell them I was sorry, I was so, so sorry. "okay. Well that was a good session, isn't it so much easier to just talk about things?" I nodded at his question. "good, glad you agree. Now is there anywhere you want to go for a while? And don't say your house either, because that won't be happening!" Doctor Scott laughed, my chest hurt when he did. "my room, I would like my room." I pulled my sleeves over my hands, looking at the floor. "alright, I think we can do that. I'll send someone for you when its time for lunch, and then I suggest you go and be in another room with other patients." The doctor nodded at an orderly, who yanked me to my room again, locking the door on me. I didn't care, I just sat on my bed and felt bad, trying to think of what I could say to everyone, to make it better.


	25. Chapter 25

**LittleLouiseeee - its okay, i hope it doesn't make you too sad though! *offers hug***

* * *

47 Harry's POV

Danny moped around the house for hours when we got home, we had gone back to our house, to stop him from being reminded of Tom as much. It didn't seem to be working, seeing as he had gone back to Tom's and come back in his jumper, wrapped in his duvet. Now he was sitting on the sofa, looking forlornly at the TV, his guitar tucked up in his cocoon. "Dan, come on, we spent all day with Tom, thats got to count for something?" I encouraged him, I hadn't thought that Danny would be _this _depressed the day after bringing Tom home. Of course letting him go was going to hit him hard, but I had thought being able to have Tom home for a day would have kept him at least a little happier. But it currently looked like that hadn't happened, Danny was more depressed than ever.

"yeah it does. But you didn't see the tears, didn't have to stand there, completely powerless, as Tom got into that car. I promised him that I would come back today, and we were going to have the last of the cake." Danny answered, leaning on my side. "well we can do that tomorrow, can't we? And come on, just think of yesterday. That was a good day, wasn't it? To have Tom home and having fun, seeing him laugh and smile and everything." I gave him a smile, getting a ghost of one back. It still sort of freaked me out when Danny wasn't smiling properly. I was still so used to seeing a huge mega watt grin on Danny's face, that lit up the entire room, seeing a ghost of that, with eyes filled with pain, it wasn't right. Danny wasn't Danny without his huge smile and loud laugh that reverberated around the room.

"yeah, yesterday was a good day. Probably the last for a while though." Danny sighed, chewing on his lip, his fingers digging into his arm. "well then, how about if we start planning for the next one? That'll give us something to do." _More like it would give Danny something to distract him from his depression. _"yeah, okay, I better go do that." Danny reached out and grabbed a pen and paper, starting to write down ideas on a pad of paper. Of course he filled two pages by the time it was phone call time, which was when everything else stopped in the house, the four of us crowding around the mobile phone as it rang.

"is Tom Fletcher there and can he talk to us?" Danny asked, like he did every day. "I'll go see if he's available." A nurse seemed to walk off, Danny started chewing on his lip in anticipation, until the footsteps came back. Three sets if I could hear properly. "guys?" Tom whispered, he sounded so unbelievably sad, like he was close to tears. I could almost hear and feel our joined heartbreak at his voice. "yeah, its us Tommy." Danny answered him, still not releasing his lip. "and I'm here too Tom." Carrie piped up, holding Danny's hand, I think he needed that.

There was a little whispering on the other side of the line for a few seconds, before Tom was back. "whats up Tommy? You sound so upset!" Danny barely gave Tom a second to speak again, engulfing Carrie's hand in his own, reminding me so much of how him and Tom would hold hands. "I-I, I'm just so sorry. I-I didn't know I was ruining things this morning, I promise I didn't know. I-I'm sorry that I disappointed you and made you mad at me. And I'm sorry that I didn't say that I missed all of you, cause I do! I miss all of you, I don't just miss you Danny. I miss Harry, Dougie and Carrie too! I should have said it, and I didn't, I'm sorry!" Tom sounded like he burst into tears, his voice had been shaking and I don't think I had actually heard him sound so distraught, ever. "huh? Whats brought all this on Tommy? I don't understand, how have you ruined things?" Danny asked first, before any of us could get in there. He was tensing so much right now, it was like a single touch would make his body snap.

"you haven't ruined anything Tom." I weakly added in, not exactly sure what he was trying to say, but wanting to say something anyway. "d-don't be nice, please. I-I know that I did a bad thing and m-made you all mad. I'm so sorry, I-I didn't know," Tom gulped back more tears, "that you had been planning yesterday for ages. I-I'm sorry for ruining it. I-I don't know why I did it, I'm sorry that I d-did." Tom stuttered out, whimpering so loudly, though it was muffled, so very muffled, like he was talking through his hand. "you didn't ruin yesterday though! Yesterday was perfect Tom, I loved every minute of it, we all did. How do you think you ruined it?" I asked, yanking Danny's hand away from his mouth as he started to chew on his fingers. Not on his nails, on his actual _fingers. _ "I freaked out when I had to come back here... I'm so sorry, so, so sorry. I'm so sorry for that...and for not thanking you for planning it. And for not saying that I missed you all." Tom sounded so ashamed of himself, like he honestly thought he had done something terribly wrong. It wasn't his fault that he wanted to stay in his house, or that he was so excited and happy and caught up in Danny that he forgot to say that he missed us too. We knew he did, he didn't have to physically say it, me and Dougie knew what Tom was like, we knew he missed us too.

48 Dougie's POV

The whole phone conversation broke my heart completely, to hear how Tom thought he had ruined yesterday by not telling he missed us all, and by fighting against Doctor Scott this morning. He was in tears with guilt, I could almost hear him shaking. I felt so sorry for him right now, the poor guy was terrified that we were disappointed in him. It reminded me so badly of last year, when Tom thought he couldn't do anything right. To know he felt like that, it was awful, I wished that I could stop making him feel so useless. I would have done anything to cheer him up.

"I-I have to go... I'm s-sorry, for ruining yesterday, and today. I m-miss all of you a lot." Tom whispered. "I know you do baby, we all miss you and love you a lot too." Danny replied through his nails, there was actually several shards of his nails on the floor in front of him right now. "we do, we promise. We all miss you too, and we know you miss us too." Harry quickly said before the line went dead and Danny head-butted the floor with a loud groan. "what the _f*ck _is that man telling him?" he groaned, muffled by the carpet. "I have no clue. But I guess he's just picking up on what we were doing yesterday I think and making stupid assumptions." Harry shrugged, taking the phone out of Danny's hand and holding it gently in his own instead.

"yeah probably, stupid tw*t should talk to us first before telling things to Tom and making it all twist up inside his head! Yesterday was supposed to make him happier, now that tw*t has ruined it!" Danny grumbled, managing to look up at us with worried eyes. "yeah I know. But we'll set things right tomorrow, won't we? Tell Tom how we really feel." Harry sent him an encouraging smile. "yeah, I know... you guys aren't annoyed that he didn't say anything to you, are you?" Danny's face dropped in worry, pulling himself up, wincing a little as his ribs obviously hurt.

"no, of course not. We know what Tom's like, he gets excited and he does mostly focus on you. We know he misses us too." I managed a smile too, knowing that neither me or Harry felt annoyed at Tom. He couldn't help it, he looked to Danny for literally everything, he knew we were there too, but Danny was his main, well, carer, we couldn't really get annoyed at him if he sometimes forgot to say something as small as he missed us. "we don't mind it Dan. Honestly." Harry agreed with me, rubbing Danny's arm gently.

That seemed to calm him down a little, and three hours later, Danny called it a night and went to bed, actually managing to fall asleep tonight. He seemed a bit more alive in the morning, and a little less worried, which was nice. And by the time we were at the hospital, he was managing to crack a smile when Tom came into our sight. He was sitting on his bed, looking at of the barred windows, hugging James the teddy close to his chest. "Tommy!" Danny ran up to his boyfriend, hugging him tightly. Tom suddenly jumped back into the room and must have realised we were all hugging him, because he suddenly burst into tears. "hey, hey whats wrong? Baby whats up?" Danny used the tone he always used when Tom started crying.


	26. Chapter 26

**sorry its taken me so long to update today! i was out with my best friend watching Thor and then had an osteopath appointment afterwards and i've only just gotten in!**

* * *

49 Danny's POV

"I-I'm sorry! I-I missed you all so much!" Tom whimpered, trying to grab hold of us all at the same time with his skinny, scarred arms. "we know Tom, we know, we miss you so much too." I wrapped my arms around his tiny waist, I really wanted Tom to know that, wanted to get it through to him. I couldn't stand not telling Tom that we missed him and letting him feel incredibly guilty for something he should have never felt guilty for. "I-I'm sorry! I shouldn't... I'm sorry!" Tom choked, whimpering into my neck, I squeezed him even tighter, I wasn't going to let the poor guy go, not when he looked so upset. "shhh baby, shhh. Calm down, who told you that we were mad at you? Who said that you ruined the other day?" I pressed what I hoped was a calming kiss to Tom's messy blonde hair, trying to hug him to make him calm again.

Tom was too far gone in his sobbing to tell us, he just clung to us as tight as he possibly could, sobbing hysterically, saying over and over again that he was so sorry. "shh, its okay, we're not mad. You didn't ruin anything, I promise. We love you all so much." I promised, over and over, whenever Tom said that he was sorry until he quietened down. Now, Tom just sat in our arms, clinging to us, shaking and whimpering quietly, like he had used up his voice. "shh, Tom, I love you so much, don't think you ruined anything, because you didn't." I kissed Tom's head gently, trying to quieten down his whimpers.

I regretted not bringing my guitar today, but it didn't stop me from gently singing Safe And Sound to Tom, finally feeling him relax a little in a huddle, laying us all down on the far too small bed. "thats it, good boy. You're safe, we love you, I love you. Just relax a little." I coaxed as I finished, running my hand over Tom's face. If Harry and Dougie said anything, I didn't hear it, I was so busy looking at Tom, I had no idea what was happening around us. "I-I'm sorry." Tom whispered one last time, diving to hide in my chest, the poor guy, I felt so sorry him, I really did.

"its okay, don't worry about it Tommy." I ran my hand through his blonde locks comfortingly, wishing I could stop Tom feeling so upset right now. He had been so happy at home, so happy. I had thought that he would have been able to keep at least a bit of that happiness going for a few days at least, but Doctor Scott had ruined it. I knew he was the one who had put these stupid thoughts into my poor Tommys head, I just knew it, who else would have? No-one else would have known what had had happened when we were at home, it had to be him. And at the moment, I didn't think that trying to make my boyfriend think that he had completely ruined our only day together was exactly a good thing to do. Tom had been happy that day, truly happy, the happiest he had been in weeks, how could someone have the heart to ruin it for him?

"I-I'll make it better, I promise. I-I'll make it better." Tom looked up at me with large puppy eyes, managing to hold all of our hands in his tiny skeletal ones. "you don't have to. Its okay Tom. We know you miss us all, and you didn't ruin the other day." Harry spoke up at last, running his thumb over mine and Tom's hands in the tangle we had. "you didn't, honestly, you didn't." I agreed, kissing Tom's forehead gently, not caring that my unoccupied arm was going numb by Tom laying on it. "we know you miss us, we miss you too." Dougie added, even though it was essentially repeating what we had said, but never mind. Maybe repeating things over and over would work?

50 Tom's POV

_You have to make it up to everyone, have to. You ruined everything and if you don't, they'll never take you out again. _I knew that, but, how? How did I make it better? I didn't know how to do that. _Well you better think of something and fast! _Yeah, I would think of something, somehow. "Tommy, we've got to go now. I'll phone you later on, alright?" Danny made me look at him, kissing me gently. _Can't make it up to Danny by kissing him, you can't kiss him, can you? _No, I couldn't, it was horrible. I wanted to kiss back, say that I loved him, so badly. _Well you can't. You'll lose him if you're not careful. _I didn't want that! _Get planning then. _

"we'll see you tomorrow Tom." Harry whispered, him and Dougie hugging me close. I hugged them back, trying not to cry. I had to be good, I had to be a good boy. I couldn't be a bad boy and ignore them, they were my friends, I couldn't ignore them. "okay, see you tomorrow." I hugged my knees when everyone let me go, looking at my feet. If I watched them go, I was going to cry and freak out. That was what bad boys did, and I was trying not to be a bad boy. _Sit still, stop rocking. _But, I liked it, I needed it. I needed to rock a little, it made me feel better. _I don't care, stop looking crazy. Sit still. _I stopped, I wasn't crazy! "I love you Tommy, don't forget that, I love you." Danny came back and kissed my head, giving me another hug. "I know. I lo-, I do too." I tried to say it back, but I couldn't! I wished I could. "I'll phone you tonight, as I always do. Bye Tommy." Danny kissed my cheek and went away.

"behaving today are we?" an orderly asked, I nodded, feeling tears fall down my face and my chest tighten. "good. Now stay here until Doctor Scott wants you again." The door closed with a really loud bang, leaving me alone to cry on my bed. _Still can't see your lover go without crying? You wimp, how aren't you used to this yet? Its been months, surely you can handle it. _I couldn't, I didn't want to be on my own, ever! I hated it here, I didn't want to be alone here. I didn't want to be alone anywhere! _Wasn't what you said last night. You wanted to be alone then. _But that was because I felt bad! I wanted to be alone while I felt bad sometimes, but not right now! _Too bad, Danny's not coming back. _

"whats the tears for Tom?" Doctor Scott appeared. "I-I miss Danny." I told him, _wipe away the tears, you can't be seen crying! _"ah, the usual excuse. I want to talk to you a little more about some things, would you like to sit here and talk?" Doctor Scott made me nod. He sat on a chair next to me, holding his papers he wrote on. _Here we go. _"so, how did the apologising go this time? Was it the same as yesterday, with everyone saying that you didn't know?" I nodded at the question, squeezing James close. "right, so, do you believe them?" Doctor Scott asked. "a little." I nodded, pulling on my sleeves. It was Danny's tshirt, I think. _Stealing his clothes, bad boy! _But they had been in my case!

"why only a little?" Doctor Scott wrote things on his paper. "I don't know." I didn't know, really, I didn't. I just didn't believe them. _Because things like ruining whole days that took weeks of planning because you're PATHETIC can't be forgiven that easily. _"right, is it because you still don't know about the cheating thing?" not this again. _Of course its coming up again. Like they're going to leave that alone. _I shrugged at the doctor, I didn't know if I didn't believe Danny because of that or not. "I think I should organise a session for you two to talk it out. Neither of you will bring it up if I don't, and we all need answers about that night." Doctor Scott made another note on his papers.

I didn't want to know if Danny cheated on me or not. It would hurt if he had, and I didn't want to hurt. If he wasn't happy with me and he wanted to cheat on me with others then that was okay, if he was happy so was I. I didn't mind it, I just didn't want to know, I was happy not knowing. I liked to think that Danny wasn't cheating on me, couldn't I stay with that? _No, you can't. You must know that he cheated. So you can hurt some more and BACK OFF two other peoples man. _"can't we not find out?" I asked. "well why don't you want to know?" the doctor looked up at me as I wiped away tears. "I don't want to know." I told him what I had been thinking, he just looked confused. "so you would be happier not knowing, living in constant doubt. Then to risk the possibility of heartbreak, and find out what happened?" he made me nod again. "he's happy, it doesn't matter." I told him, but he wouldn't believe me, just told me that he was going to make me talk to Danny about this. _Prepare for more heartbreak then. _


	27. Chapter 27

**Guest - thank you! :D**

* * *

51 Harry's POV

Danny did his usual trick he always did when he got home, curling up on the sofa, writing ideas for days out, and songs by the looks of things. The pages of his lyric book were covered within hours, filled with random words, drawings, whole lines of songs. It seemed to keep him occupied though, and out of trouble. I could tell that he was starting to feeling incredibly guilty for leaving Tom by himself, having to leave him like this all the time was taking its toll on his poor mind. "alright Dan?" I asked quietly, sitting on the floor in front of him. "yeah, I guess. I'm just a bit worried, you know?" Danny sighed, chewing on his lip.

"what that Tom's going to have that doctor tell him weird stuff thats going to make him feel guilty for things he shouldn't feel guilty about?" I got a nod. "Tom didn't do anything wrong, he didn't, he just...he just didn't want to leave his house, that was all. That wasn't a bad thing to do, I don't see why he should have that twisted in his head to make it seem like he's done something terrible. And, did you see the way he acted when we left? He just sat there, which wasn't normal. I think that doctors trying to twist everything round in Tom's head." Danny grumbled a bit, letting me squeeze his hand reassuringly. "but, aren't they supposed to be making Tom better? Maybe telling him what he did was wrong, is a part of his treatment. So its telling him to realise that he needs to pay attention to everyone around him, and that he needs to accept that he has to stay where he is." I suggested, realising that it could be a part of Tom's treatment.

"that doesn't mean that they have to make him so upset though. They could just tell him that he did wrong and leave it at that, so he doesn't end up in tears for so long." Danny was seemingly still under the impression that Tom didn't need some very obvious clues when it came to making him realise he was in the wrong. Just telling Tom things didn't mean it actually went in, he needed to physically learn through experience. I told that to Danny but he didn't listen, just said it wasn't fair on poor Tom, that he shouldn't be crying and feeling so guilty, because we didn't know what his head would be telling him. "Danny, maybe its better to have a few tears shed, so Tom learns and gets better." I squeezed his hand gently, trying to make it sound like it wasn't _that _bad. "well, Tom shouldn't have to have his one good day ruined! That isn't fair!" Danny pouted, wriggling to sit up straight. "yeah, good point. But, I guess its better to have his day ruined, and for him to learn his lessons now, so we can get him back home and continue our lives." I bit my lip, realising that maybe it wasn't such a nice thing to destroy the only happy day Tom had had this year. "yeah, maybe." Danny sighed, crawling off the sofa, leaning on my shoulder, still wrapped up in his duvet. "it'll get better soon, when Tom starts to get better." I whispered and comfortingly kissed Danny's head, hoping it would help him somehow.

"what you talking about?" Dougie came into the room, eating out of a box of cereal. I knew that he had an idea on what we were talking about, but sometimes, I did like how he tried to make a subject change. "ah, nothing. Just plans for more days out." Danny smiled a little, covering so we didn't harm poor Dougie's mind more. We liked keeping him slightly out of the loop with Danny's feelings, so we didn't worry him. Dougie only just managed to sleep the night through, if he knew how much Danny was hurting, it would worry him so much I didn't even want to think about the nightmares he would have.

52 Dougie's POV

I could tell that Danny and Harry hadn't been talking about day trips out, I knew they were talking about Tom and what his doctor was twisting his thoughts into. But, I let them believe that I believed their story, just to keep them happy. "so, want some cereal?" I held out the box to my husband and my best friend. "yeah, cheers Dougs." Harry grabbed a handful, eating a few bits out of his handful as the phone rang. "who the hell is ringing?" Danny got up and quickly answered it, falling to sit back down with us, looking confused.

"dude, speaker!" I poked him, luckily Danny did. It was Doctor Scott on the phone, saying he wanted Danny to come in early in a few days time. "why do you want that? Is something wrong?" Danny paled, chewing on his lip. "no, nothings wrong. You and Tom just need to have a talk." Doctor Scott said, wait, what? "about what?" Danny bit at his lip harder, looking more and more worried by the second. "about the night he found the three of you in bed together." Doctor Scott said simply, d*mn that was going to be a hard conversation. "but nothing happened that night, why do we have to talk about it?" Danny glanced up at us, starting chewing on his nails again.

"because Tom doesn't know that. He has no clue what happened that night, at all. He has a very weird philosophy on the whole thing, and seeing as this is half the of the reason Tom is like he is don't you think that you need to talk about it?" okay, the doctor had a point, I admit. "yeah, alright. When do you want us to have this talk?" Danny sighed, looking so worried about it. "not tomorrow, the day after, straight after visiting hours." Doctor Scott told us. "alright... can we talk to Tom now?" Danny sounded hopeful, somehow though I didn't think that we were going to be talking to Tom tonight. "erm, no. He is having his dinner and then having an early bedtime, he's had a long couple of days and I think that he needs rest more than anything." The phone hung up abruptly, d*mn it.

"d*mn, I _really _don't want this conversation." Danny said after a few minutes of silence. "why not?" Harry turned to look at him. "cause, I kinda know I'm going to say the wrong thing and mess up Tom's head even more. I don't want to mess up his head, or lose him, ever. And, I don't want Tom to remember that night, it f*cked everything up, so badly." Danny looked so unbelievably guilty, his head hanging low, his fingers picking at each other. "we couldn't have known it was going to happen. Its probably best if you two talk about it, it could go well anyway. You never know, it could go well." Harry encouraged, putting his hand gently on Danny's back.

"it won't, I _suck _at explaining things, especially if its something like this. Tom's not going to believe me anyway, he has thought for _years _that he isn't good enough. Literally, the whole time we've been together he's told me, over and over, that he wasn't worth having me as a boyfriend, that I should have been with another person. He's _never _completelybelieved that I've been completely happy with him. And ever since he came back, he's believed the whole time that I've been lying and cheating on him with you two. How the hell do I convince him that I'm not? How do I convince Tom that I've only ever loved him and that I've never even thought of cheating on him?"


	28. Chapter 28

**updating even though there aren't any comments because it'll be sods law i'll get one over night and i can't update tomorrow until late because i'm checking out a university!**

* * *

53 Tom's POV

The next day passed quickly, Danny, Harry and Dougie never mentioned the talk we were going to have, they just acted like it wasn't going to happen. I didn't want it to happen, I didn't want to know, I really, _really _didn't want to know, I never wanted to know what happened. _Danny cheated on you. Simple enough as that. Thats what he's going to tell you, he's going to tell you that what you think you saw is completely true. Then, he's going to dump you because he hates you, and you'll never see him again. _I didn't want that, couldn't I stay in the dark with this? I was honestly happy not knowing! I didn't want to know, EVER! _Well, you're finding out today, and you can't do anything about it. Prepare to cry, a lot. Wimp. _

"Tom, Danny, will you come with me? Its time for your talk now." Doctor Scott made us jump, oh hell, oh hell, oh hell! "well, we'll wait in the car or something. See you in a while Danny, good luck." Harry whispered the last bit in Danny's ear, but I still heard it. _Good luck because you're going to CRY like the BIG BABY you are. _I wasn't a baby, I just didn't want to know that the only man I had ever loved had cheated on me. _Because he doesn't love you. _SHUT UP PLEASE! I didn't want to know, I didn't want to know! "yeah, see you guys later. Come on Tom, we better go and talk this out." Danny pulled me up, I held onto his hand tightly, leaning on him. I wanted to remember this, I wanted to remember being close to him, and feeling his hand in mine, remember everything. _You're not going to have it soon. _Shut up, please, just shut up!

Danny almost dragged me by my hand down to Doctor Scotts office, my chest tightened so much, it hurt so badly, I already wanted to cry and we hadn't even started! Couldn't I skip this completely?! _No, who says you can ever get out of being in pain? Its what you deserve, because you're nothing. _I really didn't like this person talking to me! I couldn't think straight! _You don't anyway you twit. _But, I didn't care right now, I just wanted them to be quiet! "okay, Tom, why don't you start?" Doctor Scott told me when I sat on the floor, I didn't want to be first, or on the sofa. I didn't want to be here.

"I-I, I don't know where to start." I whispered, making sure I just looked at my shoes. I couldn't look at anyone, I didn't want to see they're lying faces, or for them to see my tears. "how about you start with what you think you saw?" Danny reached for my hand again, I didn't let him have it. It would hurt so much more to have him holding my hand and telling me everything. _Have to get used to being alone now. Cause thats what you're going to be. Alone. Forever. _Shhh! "okay, before we start. I think its best you have some medication Tom." An orderly came over and pushed the needle into my arm, the person talking went quiet, at last. "is that better Tom?" Doctor Scott asked, I nodded, feeling a little fuzzy too. But I liked fuzzy, it was better than facing this awake.

"good, so would you like to start like I suggested Tom?" but..._where _did I start? "what did you see that night Tommy? Thats a good place to start from." Danny told me, facing me on the floor too, his hand making patterns on my knee. "I-I saw you, Harry and Dougie in bed together. You-you said you loved them. Harry said he l-loved you too. Y-you were all sweaty and naked. Dougie was wearing your shirt." I whispered, I could still see it in my head, so clearly. I could see everything.

_"I love you guys." Danny nuzzled into Harry's bare chest, wrapped inside the duvet, a tangled mess of arms and legs with Harry and Dougie. "we love you too Dan, always have, always will." Harry kissed Danny's hair, rubbing his back. What was happening?! Why was Danny in bed with Harry and Dougie like this? And why were Danny and Harry shirtless, and why did Dougie have Danny's shirt on, one he hadn't been wearing today?! Were they having an affair, looking at them, their clothes strewn over the floor, all tangled up, Danny looked sweaty but content. __**I told you, didn't I?**_

"ah, what did you do when you saw?" Doctor Scott asked, writing everything down. "ran. I ran away, back to my house. I-I, I cried all night." I admitted, I didn't mean to make it sound that bad. "oh Tommy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Danny went to hug me, then put his hands down again, just putting one on my knee. His hand was _huge, _it covered my whole knee, it felt nice. It was warm and made me feel safe, why didn't I just stay in my house so I didn't know what happened?! "why did you go over there in the first place?" Doctor Scott asked, why was this all about me?! "nightmares, I-I had nightmares. And you weren't there, I needed a hug, and you weren't there. I-I went to yours, and you weren't there either, so I tried Harry and Dougies...and found you there." I explained, turning to look at Danny...he looked so upset. He was a good actor sometimes, he really was. He shouldn't have been feeling bad about it though, it wasn't really his fault, it was mine. I wasn't good enough for him, I didn't match up with him. If I had been in Danny's place, I would have probably done the same thing, just to be with people that could match up to his perfection. "I don't mind, if you want to sleep with them. I don't mind. I did, but if it makes you happy, you can sleep with them and be with them. We can forget POV and everything, and I'll back off. Whatever makes you happy." I tried to cheer Danny up, he shouldn't be feeling bad. I was the one in the wrong here, I wasn't happy enough, I never had been. If Danny was happy being others, then I couldn't do anything about it. I wouldn't stand in his way of happiness, ever. That wouldn't be fair.

"Tommy, I'm so sorry, I should have stayed with you. I was just so scared... I had nightmares too that night, I didn't want to scare you though. I really didn't want to scare you with my dreams, so I went to Harry and Dougies, because I needed to hug someone and feel safe. It was a stupid thing, a really, really stupid thing to do. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I should have stayed with you, I just needed someone to hold, I swear. And I don't want _anyone _apart from you Tommy. I really don't, I just want you, I can't even think of being with someone else. What makes me happy is you, no-one else, you make me so happy. So, so happy." Danny brought me closer to him, I let him kiss my hair, I just needed a hug right now. I didn't want this conversation anymore, we were both so upset, because we both knew what happened, and I don't think either of us wanted to really admit to it.

"please, tell me the truth. Don't lie to me. I don't want you lying to me." I couldn't look at him, I really couldn't. "I'm not lying to you. You're the one who makes me so happy, so, so happy. I didn't want you to be scared by my nightmares, so I went to Harry and Dougies. Honestly, I just went over theirs for a cuddle to feel better. And I said that I loved them, because I love them as friends. I love you in a different way, a completely different way." Danny pulled me closer, holding me so tightly, I wanted to cry some more. "h-how do you love me?" I asked, not sure I wanted to hear this.

54 Danny's POV

"I love you like, how can I put this in a really good way? Hmm...how Katniss loves Gale." I tried my hardest to think of a way to put it to Tom, in a way he would understand. I thought movie and book references would work, and that was the best one I could come up with. "like a brother then?" Tom's heart shattered inside his eyes...d*mn! Wrong thing to say! "huh? No, no! Wait...Katniss is Gales sister?" I was confused... I really needed to scrape up my 'Toms favourite movie' knowledge. "no, she was his friend. She fell in love with Peeta throughout the books and decided she felt she liked Peeta more than Gale. So...you like Harry and Dougie more?" Tom explained, d*mn it! "well, I mucked that up! I meant the other way round! I meant that I love you like Katniss loves Peeta. I'm not good with movies, you know that, I always get them mixed up." I tried to backtrack, desperately trying to think of something else.

"I'm confused." Tom certainly looked confused, and awkward, and like he was about to burst into tears again. "okay, okay let me think... I love you like, erm," _think Danny, THINK, _"you know, I can't think of a single movie to describe this, at all." I tried laughing a little, it fell flat. "because its not real, I'm guessing." Tom's bottom lip quivered, oh no, not the tears! I didn't want him to cry, ever, Tom tears were the worst thing I had ever experienced! They broke my heart, into tiny little pieces, I _hated _seeing Tom cry. "no, no, god no Tommy. Its real, I love you so much, it hurts. I promise you, I am so in love with you I couldn't get any more in love. And I have _never _cheated on you, what you saw was nothing. It was just us hugging, because I needed a hug, but didn't want to worry you. I said that I loved Harry and Dougie, meaning in a best friend, brotherly way. And they meant it in the same way, I promise. The way I love you is so much more, its so different." I scrapped the movie character idea and tried to steer us back to the main point.

Tom was quiet for a while, seemingly taking in my words, pulling on his fingers nervously. "why didn't you come to me?" Tom whispered eventually, just before Doctor Scott got in the way. "because I didn't want to scare you. I knew that you had nightmares too, and didn't get enough sleep either, I didn't want to wake you up and scare you. If I had known all of this would happen, I wouldn't have gone down the road, I would have talked to you. I'm an idiot for not thinking things through properly, and I am _so _sorry for causing all of this, for hurting you like I did, and just for being an idiot. Do you believe me?" I gently risked it and kissed Tom's hair for the second time, it honestly killed me to see how upset he was. And knowing that it was all my fault, for being ridiculously stupid by thinking that Tom wouldn't find out at some point about my midnight runs to our best friends house. I should have woken Tom up, it would have been easier to calm him down then instead of cause this huge mess we were in now.

"Tom? Do you believe Danny or not?" Doctor Scott hurried Tom, but he still looked so confused. "its okay if you don't. I know how much I screwed up, I'll just spend all my time trying to prove myself to you." I would as well, I was determined to make Tom believe me. I would stop at nothing to prove it. "I believe you." Tom whispered quietly a few minutes later, making me burst into a grin. "thats great Tommy! I'm so glad you do! You have no idea how much this means! Now I promise you, right now, that I will never make you lose any trust in me ever again. I will never ever stray from you, ever, I'll be yours for as long as you want me to be. I'll do anything you want me to do to prove to you that I love you and only you." I would have carried on rambling about proving myself to Tom, but he put his finger over my lips, which was a very bold move from him. "don't prove anything, and don't try to make me order you around. Just, hug me...maybe?" Tom went back to looking shy and sheepish about his request. I gathered him into my arms as quick as a flash, hugging him as tight as possible. "I love you Tommy, I love you _so _much. I'll never let you believe something like that ever again." I promised, pressing kisses down Tom's face and neck, even though he was all tensed up, staring down at his shoes, still looking so painfully awkward.

"okay, well this has been a good session, but I'm now running late for another patient..." Doctor Scott _had _to cut in then, didn't he? Just when we were having a 'moment' I didn't want to let Tom go right now, he needed a whole load of hugs and kisses right now, now that he believed me. "I'm guessing you want me to go then." I sighed despite my wants, Tom whimpered a little, his arm working its way around mine, let he didn't want me to go either. "erm, well...seeing as that was quite a big thing to discuss I'm guessing that you would like to spend some more time together. So, I guess you can stay the night, but _only _tonight, alright?" Doctor Scott let us go, I practically yanked Tom back to his room, I couldn't wait to be alone with him and cuddle up to him nice and close, tell him how much I loved him.

And that is exactly what I got to do, I got to curl up on the bed with Tom, holding him closer than a second skin, so happy that he believed me. He looked a little nervous at our contact, but, he was mostly okay, holding onto my hands and my shirt tightly all night. We just, lay there in silence, no more words were said, it didn't feel like we needed them. We were perfectly comfortable in our silence, thinking through the past few hours. I don't think it could have gone any better to be honest, I could have not screwed up the Hunger Games reference, but, apart from that, it went pretty well. So after telling Harry and Dougie to go home, having some down time with each other was exactly what I wanted, what we both wanted.

We stayed in Tom's room all evening, and got left alone too, we didn't even realise we were both skipping dinner. Neither of us felt hungry, we were just happy to cuddle up and enjoy each others company until we fell asleep. I was actually about to drop off into that mentioned sleep when Tom spoke up. "you know that I'm not angry at you anymore, right?" Tom asked, hidden deep in my chest. "yeah, I know." I nodded, kissing his hair gently. "okay... I meant what I said too. You can sleep with other people, and be in relationships with others. Whatever makes you happy. If you're happy, so am I." Tom whispered, my eyes blasted wide again...he didn't seriously still believe I would, did he? "don't say things like that Tom. I don't want to sleep with other people, or be in relationships with anyone else. Sometimes I do end up sleeping in Harry and Dougie's bed, and thats all I do, sleep. But thats it, I won't ever want to do anything else with anyone, ever." I pulled Tom's face up to look at me, framing his face with my hands. "yeah I know... I just, want you to know that you can go off and be with other people. You don't even have to tell me, just go and have fun. Go and do whatever makes you happy." Tom actually looked like he meant it, he honestly _wanted _me to go out and cheat on him if that other person made me happy. "I don't want _anyone _else, and I won't, ever. I'm afraid that you are stuck with me, I'm never ever going to want anyone else." I tried to _not _going into a very, very long lecture, listing off the enormous, endless, list of things I loved about Tom. "okay...just remember that, alright? Please remember that you can, if it makes you happy." Tom whispered, his eyes pleading. "alright, alright. Just, I won't, I won't ever do that." I promised, kissing my beautiful troubled boyfriends head, holding onto him, trying to make Tom believe that I would _never _cheat on him, ever.


	29. Chapter 29

**LittleLouiseeee - its okay!**

**monkeywaiters - it is unfair on him to think like that :/**

* * *

55 Harry's POV

We didn't call Tom and Danny that night, thinking it would better to let them have the most amount of time possible to themselves, talking things through. Seeing as Danny was staying the night, I took it that their talk went very well, so thought it best to leave the boys alone, and spend some alone time with Dougie. I was craving some time alone with Dougie, knowing that we didn't have to look out for anyone, didn't have to worry about protecting our friends from having a complete breakdown from guilt and loneliness. I mean, I didn't mind looking after Danny and making sure he was okay, I hated seeing him in pain, but it felt _so good _to be able to have a little Harry/Dougie time.

"Danny's going to be alright isn't he?" Dougie asked quietly, in the middle of fiddling with...something in one the lizard tanks. "yeah, he'll be fine. Danny's fine when he's with Tom, always is." I smiled a little, holding onto a lizard, that I think was named Joey, so he didn't run away. "I hope so, and I hope they sort it out. I hate this whole cheating thing, its not right. We're all close, and it was friends helping a friend out, thats it." Dougie sighed, taking the lizard from my hands and putting it back in its tank, carefully putting the lid on top of it. "I know, and Danny will explain that, its up to Tom if he believes that or not though." I sighed, running a thumb over his knee that was poking out of his shorts.

"yeah. I guess that he did, cause they're still in the ward together." Dougie slid over to lean on my lap, the brim of his hat poking into my stomach a little. "yeah, they're fine, I'm sure. Probably laying in bed together, fast asleep right now." I encouraged, moving his hat to the other side, stopping it poking me. "yeah, probably. I hope so." Dougie ran his hand over my Saint Kidd tshirt, tracing the patterns over it absentmindedly. "they will be, its fine Doug's. Stop worrying, alright?" I had actually lost track of the amount of times I had said that now. "fine...wanna go to bed? I'm kinda tired and I've missed cuddling with you in bed." Dougie pulled me upstairs and to bed, bundling the both of us in a big cocoon of duvet, ourselves and our clothes that we had stripped off.

"you happy like this?" I whispered, trying to straighten out the absolutely _massive _shirt Dougie had put on. It was the one Tom had been wearing months ago, that Danny had put on him when he needed long sleeves over his tshirt to hide the scars covering his pale arms. I had thought it looked big on Tom, it _swamped _Dougie, he could have easily fitted into it at least twice. "yep, I'm good." Dougie wriggled closer, resting his head on my chest, his delicate fingers tracing the outline of my abs. "good. Now go to sleep, alright?" I pulled the shirt over his hands so his whole hand was uncovered.

"night Harry, I love you." Dougie's hand stopped tracing, just resting gently on my side. "I love you too Doug's. Goodnight." I kissed his hair gently, sliding my hand to rest on his tiny back, under the massive shirt. "goodnight." Dougie whispered, gently kissing my shoulder before nuzzling under my chin and falling asleep. I followed him quickly enough, having missed being able to cuddle up with my husband, feel him rest next to me, no-one else in the bed, just the two of us, in our own little bundle.

56 Dougie's POV

When I woke up, my hair resembled a birds nest, and I could barely move from the tangled lump me and Harry had formed together. "morning Dougs." Harry whispered gently, kissing my neck. I made an unintelligible noise and wriggled closer to my husband, pulling his arms tighter around me, just wanting to savour this for a few more minutes. "hey, come on, wake up." Harry jiggled my shoulder a little, I slapped his hand. "no, five more minutes. Make the most of this." I pulled his hand back and put it back into the same position he had had it in before, resting on my hip, a hairsbreadth away from the waistband of my boxers.

"good point. Sorry." Harry luckily understood my mumbled plead, pulling me closer, tangling his spare hand into my mess of hair. I felt him press gentle kisses on my forehead, I smiled, leaning into his touch, deciding that I wanted to wake up like this every day. "okay, we've really got to get up now. Come on, we'll go and see the guys, see whats really happened." Harry sighed after a few minutes, d*mn it. "fine." I grumbled, letting myself be pulled out of my safe haven of a bed and into the shower. We got ready pretty quickly, it was strange getting ready at our own pace, without Danny hurrying us up, looking like he was about to explode if we didn't get a move on. It was oddly nice too, knowing that he was safe with Tom, that he didn't need to worry about him again until we all had to leave. I doubted that Danny ever wanted to let Tom go at the moment, he never wanted to let him go anyway, but when they had talked out the thing that had been the cause of all this recent trouble, I doubted Danny was willing to even move a step away from his lover.

Getting to the hospital (with a bag with a few spare pairs of clothes, just to give Tom a bit more of an choice of what to wear), we found exactly what I imagined. Tom and Danny, curled up together by the window, gently whispering as Tom dozed lightly by the looks of things. It was open by a tiny amount, just about letting a cool breeze into the room, subtly moving the boys hair as it brushed past them. "hey guys, I take it yesterday went well then?" I made the boys jump feet, making me feel guilty for breaking them from their little calm bubble. "yeah, we sorted it out, didn't we?" Danny grinned a megawatt smile, one he hadn't used in months, kissing Tom's head. Tom nodded a little, leaning back on Danny's chest, grabbing his boyfriends(?) hands. It was exactly like the whole idea of talking things through hadn't come about, the past couple of days had made Tom slightly awkward, less inclined to cuddle up with us. But now he seemed quite happy to hide inside Danny's protective embrace, looking absolutely tiny in the freckled arms holding him.

"guys, stop standing in the doorway and get over here will you? After all these years, surely you know that we don't bite!" Danny joked, I hadn't even realised we were still in the doorway, and so I ran over and jumped onto the bed. "so, are you two back together properly again?" I asked, mostly to Tom, feeling like he was too quiet. "yeah, I think so." Tom nodded, talking so quietly I could only just to hear him. "good, thats good...hey, can I have a hug? We haven't had a hug in a few days." I realised that Tom hadn't really hugged me in a few days, or Harry, I guess it was because he had the thought that we had slept with Danny. But today, Tom leant over Danny's bent leg and hugged me hesitantly, I squeezed his shoulders back, feeling him slowly start to relax against me.

"hey, Dan, we brought some more clothes, wanna help me unpack them?" Harry said somewhere above us, obviously sensing that me and Tom were having a moment that we were in need of. Or, that at least I needed anyway, I missed Tom so much, sometimes, I just needed to hug him tightly to stop the pain and worry for a while. "yeah, I'll just be a minute Tommy." Danny got the hint too I think, gently giving Tom a kiss to his blonde hair and getting up, going over to the wardrobe, leaving us to hug for a while longer. I let Tom go when I felt him get a bit restless, just held his hand gently, sort of having a feeling that he wanted to say something to me. "you're not going to...take Danny from me, are you?" Tom whispered eventually, oh... I really should have expected that.

"no, of course not! We would never take Danny from you Tom. We know Danny's yours, and you're his. Anyway, me and Harry are happily married, we don't want another lover, god knows I'm enough of a handful for Harry to look after!" I joked weakly, giving Tom another hug, wanting him to see that there was absolutely no threat made by us to his relationship with Danny. "oh...so, you _just _hug sometimes in bed together...nothing else?" Tom asked, he looked so scared, he was terrified of losing Danny, he really was. "yeah, thats all we do, I promise. Nothing more, we just hug him like we hug you." I promised.


	30. Chapter 30

**monkeywaitors *hugs you* sorry!**

* * *

57 Tom's POV

"okay...you can do more with him, if you all want. If it makes him happy, do whatever you want with Danny if it makes him happy." I told Dougie, hoping he would tell Harry this too, so they all knew that just because I was Danny's boyfriend, I wasn't in the way of him being happy. "we wouldn't, we wouldn't ever do anything like that Tom, because you make Danny happy." Dougie told me, hugging me close. "well...if he is sad, do whatever makes him happy." I told him, I didn't want anything to get in the way of Danny being happy, he really could do whatever he wanted. As long as he was happy.

Dougie didn't reply to me, just hugged me tighter, until Danny and Harry came back. Danny hugged me tightly straight away, I curled up in his arms, wanting to cuddle together. I wasn't stupid, I knew that he had to go home again today and leave me here on my own. So I made the most of being together with him, hugging him closely until he had to go, trying not to burst into tears when he left. He was crying when he left me today, it made me want to cry too, I didn't want to stay here anymore. Danny wasn't cheating on me, but if he kept on being sad because I was here, he would! He would because he needed boyfriends who were there with him all the time, to make him happy. I was stuck here, I couldn't make him happy! I ran down the corridor after him, knowing which way to go, but someone grabbed me!

"let me go, please, let me go!" I pleaded the orderly holding me back, he was crushing my arms, it hurt so bad! "no, now get back into your room. You can't be here." He started dragging me backwards. "no! Let me go! Danny needs me! I need him! Let go!" I cried, trying to kick him but I missed every single time. "Thomas, calm down right now. You know better than to do this, stop being so dramatic. Danny does not need you and even if you do need him, you can't have him right now." The orderly gripped onto me even tighter, it hurt so much! I couldn't breathe again! My ribs were being crushed and it hurt so much! "let me go! I can't breathe!" I cried out, wriggling wildly to get out of this mean mans hold.

I managed to get out and ran forward again, he grabbed my shirt and yanked me backwards, choking me with my own shirt! "don't you start trying to run. Its not the right thing to do, unless you want to be in trouble. Now be quiet and go back to your room." The orderly dragged me back to my room by my shirt, throwing me in there and locking the door. I fell to the ground with a loud bang, hitting my head, making things go fuzzy for a few seconds. "let me out! Let me out! Danny needs me!" I stumbled to stand up and banged on the door desperately, I needed to get out! I had to get out of here! Danny needed me to be there so I could make him as happy as I could, so he wasn't sad, so he didn't cheat on me! He couldn't cheat on me, he couldn't! I said I didn't care if he did, but I did! I didn't want him with anyone else, I just wanted him to be with me!

My chest started to thump really loudly, I could hear it in my ears, I couldn't breathe still, it hurt to move! Why did it hurt? Why couldn't I breathe?! I needed to breathe! I felt the room get smaller, there was less and less air in here! I couldn't breathe, there was no air, I couldn't breathe! "let me out please. Please let me out!" I panicked, I needed air! I needed to get out of this room, out of this whole place! I needed to get home and make Danny happy, and be happy myself, I needed _out! _

"Fletcher shut up and behave. Stop showing off!" someone told me, slamming the little door and locking it. They couldn't hear me anymore, I was trapped! I screamed, I couldn't help it, I needed out of here! I couldn't be here anymore! It was horrible and it was too small! It was far too small! The ceiling and the walls were getting closer and closer together, they were going to crush me! "no! No! Its crushing me! Let me out!" I pleaded, I needed to get out before I got crushed or I ran out of air! I fell to the floor, trying to get away the ceiling, but it got closer and closer, everything was getting darker. I couldn't see properly! Why couldn't I see?! Why was no-one helping me out of the thing that was crushing me?! People suddenly rushed in and they held me still in the tiny room, crushing me even more, my bones were going to break! Something sharp pushed into my arm and everything went black.

I woke up again in my room...but it was normal sized! How was it normal sized?! It was so small and crushing before! And how was I on my bed now?! "well Tom, we did make a scene today, didn't we?" why was Doctor Scott here?! "I heard you completely freaked out earlier, when your friends left. Why did you do that?" he asked. Didn't he know that I didn't want to let Danny go?! That I wanted to go home and be with my boyfriend and my friends?! "why does Danny suddenly need you? You said that Danny needs you repeatedly, why would he need you?" Doctor Scott asked me so many questions, I couldn't answer them! "he needs me! Danny needs me, to be happy! He needs to be happy!" I told him, he had to understand that! "well I'm sure he can be happy without you. He has been until now, hasn't he? Is there any reason why he would suddenly want you?" Doctor Scott asked, how didn't he understand this?! "no! He just...he needs to be happy! I need to be there to make him happy!" I whimpered, getting up, but the doctor pushed me back into bed.

"right, I think you just need to have a break, you are far too attached to Danny. You look to him for literally everything, and are trying to use him as an excuse for your behaviour. I'm going to cut down your visiting times with him." What?! What?! He wasn't serious! He couldn't be! He was doing WHAT?!

58 Danny's POV

The phone call I got a few hours after we got home broke my heart. It was Doctor Scott, telling us that he wasn't going to let us come over and phone every day. We were only allowed to visit once a week now, and could phone if we wanted to know about Tom's state, but we weren't allowed to actually talk to Tom, unless he _really _needed it. "but, why can't we see him every day? Why?" I whimpered, trying to not freak out with worry. Tom couldn't survive without me, he _really _couldn't stand being apart, he barely survived those hours without me! And we had just sorted through the whole cheating saga, why were we being ripped apart again?!

"I have come to the conclusion that every single time Tom has been uncontrollable, its been related back to you three. Whether if its just by leaving, or after a phone call, or just mentioning you in a bad light, it always triggers Tom into acting out, or at least makes him cry. And waiting for him to calm down eats into my time with him, so trying to actually get some sort of therapy done takes even longer, which is making Tom's treatment longer." Doctor Scott explained, but we didn't cause that much trouble! If anything, we made Tom better because we were there! We gave him the sense of safety and love that he needed! "but Tom needs us." I whispered in argument, Tom needed us there with him, he really did! He needed the people who loved him the most around him, he needed us more than anything.

"you all may think you do, but I'm sure you can survive on one visit a week." Doctor Scott really had _no clue _just how close the four of us were, did he? He had absolutely no clue how much we relied on each other to keep from falling apart. How much Tom needed me there to make the tangled mess his head was in make sense, to make sure that he was looked after well, that he wasn't going to fall off the deep end. Tom still had nightmares at night, he woke up almost screaming last night, he told me that he dreamt up bad things at night, he needed me there to tell him that they weren't real at the very least.

I tried to explain that to him, but the doctor wouldn't listen, he wouldn't believe me, saying that Tom would learn by himself in time. "no he won't! He won't be okay, he really won't! You can't do this!" I whimpered, he couldn't do this! He really couldn't do this! Tom needed me, I needed him, we couldn't be separated like this! "yes Tom will be alright. We'll make sure he'll be okay. Trust me, this is the best course of action for him, he'll be fine once he's used to the new routine." Doctor Scott tried, I didn't believe him. He didn't know how close me and Tom were, how we relied our bond with each other to live, to survive. Tom needed me there to hold him and reassure him, tell him and make him believe that he was loved and that we weren't leaving him on his own. He was mentally just a little boy, he didn't understand what was going on, even after two months he still had no proper grip on the things around him. He needed me to be his anchor, to tell him why things were happening to him.

"no he won't! Tom doesn't get used to these things, he needs me!" I whimpered, wanting to cry. I needed Tom too, he kept me slightly sane too. I only just survived with the daily visits, if that went to weekly, I was going to go mental without knowing exactly how he was doing. "Tom will be fine. And if not, he'll soon get used to it." Doctor Scott actually hung up on me, leaving me sat there, numbed to the bone. "Danny, whats up? What did he say to you?" Harry asked, already crouching down next to me, rubbing my back. "we, we can't...we're not allowed, we're not allowed to see Tom every day anymore, or phone him." I whispered, barely able to speak. We couldn't leave Tom by himself in the ward! We couldn't! He would get worse, because he would be so scared! He needed grounding, and cuddles, and everything!

I just about managed to explain everything to Harry, Dougie and Carrie, and they all thought the same as me, that this was stupid. Tom needed us! We shouldn't have been stopped from seeing him like this! "its not fair, we should be allowed to see Tom! He needs us, he needs support!" I whimpered, I was just so desperate to be as close to Tom as possible, tell him that everything was going to be okay. He needed someone there to reassure him, someone that he trusted, someone that he loved.


	31. Chapter 31

**monkeywaiters - thank you, i'm really glad you're enjoying how its going and everything, it means a lot to me. i've had a long and tough day and seeing your comment at lunch really made me smile, so thank you! :D**

* * *

59 Harry's POV

The next day we got another phone call from Doctor Scott, saying that we could come over to see Tom every Saturday, which was another three days away. And somehow, during those three days, Danny managed to reduce himself to a nervous wreck, practically tearing his hair out in his worry for his poor Tom. It was actually worse than when Tom had ran away, because Danny knew exactly where Tom was, and couldn't even call him to ask about how he was. I couldn't believe that Danny could actually react so badly just by being denied seeing Tom. He had always acted a little off when Tom wasn't with him sure, but being physically denied access to his boyfriend was practically killing him.

I found him on the Friday still in bed, luckily fast asleep, though his hand was reaching out across the empty space on the mattress, like he was reaching out for Tom. I felt so sorry for Danny, all he wanted really was to be with his boyfriend, to reassure him and make sure he was safe, and he was being denied that. I missed Tom a lot too, and was scared over how he was right now, but I couldn't even imagine how Danny felt. He was so protective over Tom, he couldn't take not knowing how he was, especially now that they had only just managed to talk through the cheating thing.

"Danny, Danny wake up." I carefully got on the bed, making sure I wasn't sitting on Danny, or on the toys that were lined up next to him. He had found some of the toys that Tom had at his house and had lined them up in the space next to him on the bed. It was like he was trying to replicate Tom next to him. "is it Saturday?" Danny asked, half asleep. "no, Friday, but its only 24 hours, which isn't too bad, is it?" I sighed, watching his half asleep face fall, a small whimper falling off his lips. "it is. I need Tom." Danny whispered, moving to hide further into his pillow. "I know, but it won't be long before you're together again. We're going to see him tomorrow." I reassured him, rubbing his back gently.

"that isn't soon enough." Danny mumbled, leaning on my hand. "I know. But its what we're going to have to deal with it, aren't we?" I sighed, not really wanting to be that blunt with the poor guy, but, it was better than disappointing him with lies. "yeah, I know... do I really have to get up? I just want to sleep through today, so I can see Tom as quick as possible." Danny mumbled, curling up into his duvet. "erm, yeah. Come on, it'll do you some good to be up and walking around, being around people for a while." I gently pulled him up, Danny had been far too quiet for the past week, he holed himself up too much for his own good at the moment.

It didn't take long for Danny to get dressed, but he dragged himself around as he did so, until he slumped onto the sofa, holding a toy between his chest and his bent knees. I handed him some toast which he reluctantly ate, actually quiet. As anyone who had met Danny knew, he wasn't ever described as quiet. He was only ever quiet when Tom wasn't anywhere near him, but Danny was never _silent. _Danny was always vocal about, well, _everything. _I hadn't known that taking Tom away from him like this was going to cause _this _much silence from him.

60 Dougie's POV

"dude, since when are you silent?" I gently poked Danny in the arm, I hated seeing him so quiet. It wasn't right, me and Tom were the quiet two, Danny and Harry were the more noisy two. Danny being silent wasn't right, he was supposed to be loud and vocal, unable to sit still for more than five minutes. Not like this, not sitting this quietly without Tom in his arms, looking so lost without his blonde boyfriend there, always reassuring him that everything was alright.

"there's... there's nothing to say." Danny sighed, leaning on my shoulder. "sure there is! How'd you sleep last night?" I asked, keeping on asking questions, trying to encourage Danny to talk. He managed a few answers, they were short, but he managed to speak a little. "so, what are you thinking of doing tomorrow with Tom?" Harry smiled encouragingly, if we couldn't get Danny talking about his favourite subject, then we had no hope. "I don't know. Depends on what he's like. I have no clue what he's feeling right now, so I don't know what to do with him." Danny ran his hand up and down his arm, almost like he was scratching it in slow motion. I grabbed his hand, just in case, it may have been months since he last did anything, but I still didn't want him falling down that hole again.

"I'm fine Dougie, I just had an itch." Danny sighed, he looked ashamed of himself. "its okay, I just, I was just being a bit cautious, you know?" I told him, not wanting to upset my best friend even more. "I know. But I'm fine, okay? I just, really, really need Tom." Danny let out a small whimper, even though he was sat right next to us, he looked so small and lonely, like a lost little boy. I leant up and hugged him, feeling Harry do the same, hoping this was give Danny some of the comfort he needed. "we'll see him tomorrow, it'll be alright, cause we'll see him tomorrow." Harry whispered comfortingly, pressing kisses to both of our heads.

"we better, I can't take being away from him! I need to see Tom soon!" Danny let a few tears roll free, leaning into our arms, obviously in need of our comfort. "we know, we all do Danny. We'll see him tomorrow though, which is good." Harry promised. "yeah...should we phone up now and ask about Tom? Doctor Scott said we could, but I've been too scared to phone for the past few days, in case he says that Tom's gotten worse." Danny bit at his lip, pure worrying shining through his eyes.

"yeah, we can phone up, do you want me to talk to him, so you don't have to?" Harry suggested, Danny shook his head. "no, I should talk to him. Its probably best if I talk to him." Danny grabbed his phone, phoning up the number of the psychiatric hospital, that was now on speed dial. Soon, the sound of one of the receptionists answering the phone filled the room, Danny's shaky voice asking if we could speak to Doctor Scott about Tom. "of course, if you'll give me a minute I'll buzz you through to his office." The sound of the phone ringing came through the speaker again, until Doctor Scotts voice was heard.

"ah, I was wondering when I would be hearing from you. I'm guessing you want to know about Tom's condition right now and whether its okay to be here tomorrow, am I right?" Doctor Scott had a smile in his voice. "er, yeah. So is Tom okay? Is he sleeping and eating alright? Can we see him tomorrow? Or today? Or can we speak to him? Cause we miss him and we know he misses us too!" a dam seemed to burst inside Danny's chest somewhere and the questions poured out. "whoa, whoa slow down! Tom is fine right now, he's been doing better this week. He's been sleeping and eating just fine. And yes you can see him tomorrow, come by at the normal time and you'll be able to see him then." Doctor Scott sighed, but answered most of the questions we had, mostly telling us that Tom was fine and was doing better this week. Though, none of us really believe it, we would only believe it with our own eyes tomorrow when we could actually see Tom. I just wished that what he was saying was true, so we weren't met with a shock tomorrow.


	32. Chapter 32

**Guest - thanks! and if its easier, you can tweet me corruptedpov or send me a message on my tumblr which is named effulgentcorruptedpov :)**

**monkeywaiters - thank you! i'm doing better today, just been having a bit of a rough week, all the university pressure is kinda getting to me, is all! **

* * *

61 Danny's POV

The whole of Friday dragged so badly, when all I wanted it to do was speed up so I could go and see Tom! I desperately needed to see him now, I missed him so much. I had always missed Tom when he wasn't near me, but this was worse than when he had run away, this was a whole lot worse. I knew where Tom was, which was a small comfort, but I couldn't talk to him, or see him, or even know for certain how he was. I had no clue what Tom was doing, how he was feeling, what harm the orderlies were causing him, what thoughts were being put inside his impressionable head. You could probably tell Tom the sky was green and he would believe it, I dreaded to think what Doctor Scott was making him believe...

Eventually, I woke up on Saturday morning, realising that it was the day I was seeing Tom! I could see Tom today! I almost screamed in excitement! Within minutes I was out of the mount of duvet I had wrapped myself in, running into the bathroom to shower, before sprinting to find the best clothes I couldn't find. I decided on some grey skinny jeans and a blue Criminal Damage shirt, something I would have usually worn during an interview or something similar. D*mn, I missed going out and doing interviews, running here, there and everywhere all day, before falling onto the sofa in the evening, curling up to my boyfriend in a comfortable silence. I missed just wandering around my house, or Toms, and just bumping into him, or catching him doing something so beautifully _Tom _that it made me love him more.

"ready to go Danny?" Harry made me jump, I turned round to see him and Dougie in the door way. "huh? Yeah! I'm ready, lets get moving!" I grinned, the idea of seeing Tom almost becoming too good to be true inside my head. I actually almost bounced to Harry's car, getting excited to see my boyfriend. I did my hair in the car, managing to arrange it so it was ordered, but still slightly messy and curly. Tom liked my curls, better than any other haircut I had ever had, and even though I knew that Tom would probably not even notice, I felt better trying to look the best I could for him, because it would have made him happy if he were 'normal Tom'.

Finally, the hospital came into view, the both of us getting closer and closer to Tom by the second. I was literally sprinting through the corridors the second we got through the big doors, trying to get to Tom's room as quick as I could. Tom needed a hug right now, he needed my love and affection, right this instant! "Tom!" I shouted the second I burst through the door to Tom's room, almost knocking him over in excitement. "Tom! Oh my god Tom! I missed you so much baby!" I almost started crying, the feeling of having Tom in my arms for the first time in five days getting almost overwhelming. I had missed him so much, I needed him to help me be sane, feel loved. I couldn't sleep without him, I couldn't eat, I couldn't do anything. But here he was, in my arms, my perfect little Tommy baby...and he was shaking!

"D-Danny!" Tom cried, he was in tears, almost sobbing into my shoulder. "its okay, I'm here, I'm here baby. I'm right with you, we all are." I promised, pressing kisses to any part of his face that I could reach. "you're here! You came!" Tom sobbed, his hands clinging to my shoulders and my hair, yanking it almost painfully. But it still felt good, felt so good, to know it was him. To know it was _my Tom, _pulling on my hair, in my arms, safe and sound.

62 Tom's POV

"of course I came to see you today, why would we all come down? We missed you so much." Danny told me, squeezing me so tightly it hurt. I didn't care though, I needed him, I needed him so much. "I-I missed you too! I missed you so much!" I tightened my hold on Danny, I had missed him so much. I had felt so lonely here, so, so lonely. Only Doctor Scott talked to me, and the orderlies when they were angry with me. They said I was being silly for crying because I missed everyone, didn't they understand that I needed them? But no-one else wanted to talk to me, unless they were being mean, Alex was really mean to me at the moment, I didn't like her at all.

"we all missed you so much too Tom... so, how do you feel today?" Harry asked, I realised that him and Dougie were here too! I twisted in Danny's hold to hug Harry tight, he hugged me back just as tightly. Then I turned to Dougie and hugged him too, because he needed a hug as well, because I had missed him a whole lot too. "I'm better now you're all here! It was so lonely! No-one talked to me or anything!" I said, letting Dougie go and hugging Danny again. He picked me up and put us down on the bed, so we could lay down on it and the four of us could cuddle together. I felt so warm now, I liked this warm feeling, it made my tummy flip a little, in a good way.

"have you tried talking to the others here? I'm sure if you tried talking to them they would talk to you back." Danny asked, I had, honestly I had. They just ignored me or shouted at me to go away. "they don't like me, so they won't talk to me." I told him, hiding in his chest, needing to feel his warmth and his love. "aw, you just haven't found the right person to talk to yet. I'm sure you will at some point." Danny kissed my hair, rubbing my back. I pushed a little more into him, wanting to feel his arms around me, so I knew it was okay. Everything was okay when Danny was here, and I wanted everything to be okay. I wanted to feel loved, and safe, and warm. Danny made me feel like that, I wanted to feel like that all the time. Being here wasn't safe, it wasn't loving, and it was only just about warm. But now that Danny was here, with Harry and Dougie, it felt better. I felt better, because they were here.

"have you been okay at home?" I asked, realising that Danny looked _really _tired, like he hadn't been sleeping. "yeah, we've been okay Tommy. You haven't missed anything." Danny sighed, his fingers running over my face gently. "have you been sleeping? You look tired, you all do." Harry and Dougie looked tired too, Danny looked the most tired though. "yeah, we've been sleeping Tommy. Don't worry, I just got up really early this morning, because I was excited to see you." Danny smiled a little, kissing my head again. "we have been Tom, you don't have to worry about us, worry more about yourself, alright?" Harry smiled too, putting his hand over Dougies, which was over mine. "yeah, but you need sleep and happiness too!" I argued, just because I was here, it didn't mean that everyone else couldn't be happy. Wait...

"Danny you remember what I said, don't you?" I looked back to Danny, he had to know he could do whatever he wanted to be happy. "I remember what you said Tommy, but don't you remember what I told you? I said I wouldn't do that to you because _you _make me happy, okay? So shh about that, alright?" Danny put his finger over my lips, kissing my head again. "but if you aren't happy, you can, you can do whatever you want, you know that don't you?" he had to know he could do anything he wanted, whatever made him happy!

"yes I know, and all I want to do right now is cuddle with you, alright? All I ever want to do is cuddle with you, so, can we cuddle for a while?" Danny pulled me closer, his huge arms covering most of my back. I didn't say anything, just pushed further into his arms, sure I was hurting him, but none of us cared, we _needed _to be close! All I wanted was to be close to Danny, Harry and Dougie, and feel safe and loved, knowing that they knew that I loved them too, and that they were happy.


	33. Chapter 33

**Guest 1 - thanks! and Doctor Scott's true colours will be revealed soon...**

**Guest 2 - *hands Tom over for a hug* :D**

* * *

63 Harry's POV

Somehow, we fell into silence that was so calm, that must have felt so safe to Tom and Danny that they managed to both dose off. I think pure exhaustion got to poor Danny, he hadn't been sleeping well at all, probably only about three hours a night. I was half surprised that he didn't drop off the second we had laid down on this bed. Though, I had no idea why Tom was fast asleep, I guessed it was because he hadn't slept much either. Admittedly, despite the boys tired, red eyes, they did look so sweet together. Danny's arms were wrapped tightly around Tom's body, his huge hand cradling his boyfriends blonde head against his shoulder. Tom's hands fisting around Danny's clothes, their legs entangled, their bodies so close together that there wasn't an atom of air between them.

While the boys slept me and Dougie huddled closer to them, just wanting us all to be close, having missed Tom so much. Tom was our leader, the glue that held us all together, he made Danny the happiest guy on the planet, having him separated from us was horrid. It was bad enough to see Danny moping around uselessly all day, worried sick about his boyfriend. But having to deal with that, and our own worry for Tom, it was torture, we hadn't ever been split apart like this, unable to contact one another. Having Tom here, in our arms, it was perfect, well almost perfect. If we had been at home, then it would have been perfect, but we had to make the most out of every opportunity we had with Tom.

Hours passed, and all of a sudden, it was our time to leave, I was so tempted to leave Danny here with Tom, to keep them both happy, but I knew we couldn't. It actually pained me to wake the boys up from their much needed sleep, to see their faces crumble with pain and need for each other. "don't go, please, don't go!" Tom whimpered first, his eyes widening into huge puppy eyes. "we have to baby, I'm so sorry. We'll be back next week, its not that long, only seven days." Danny tried to put on a comforting smile. "no! Stay, please, I need you! I need all of you!" Tom grabbed hold of us all, desperately grabbing at our hands. "you know we can't stay, no matter how much we need each other. It'll be okay baby, you just have to try and get through it, it'll get easier. I promise its going to get easier, we'll get used to it, we've just got to power on through it a little longer. And I promise I won't fall asleep next time, so we can talk more, like normal." Danny tried a smile, framing his boyfriends face, wiping his tears.

"yeah, we'll be back next week, its not that far away." I joined in, trying to calm Tom a little. "it is! Its too far! Its too far away! Please stay! I missed you so bad!" Tom started to cry, he looked so helpless, I wanted to cry. "we missed you too baby, but we have to go. I'm so sorry. We'll be back later on, alright? I'm sorry we don't have more time together." Danny gently kissed his boyfriend, hugging him so tightly. "don't go, please, don't go!" Tom sobbed, he almost looked terrified to let us leave. "I'm afraid we have to Tom, but we'll be back next week. It'll go quickly, we'll be back before you know it." I tried a smile, running a hand through Tom's hair to try to make him calm down.

"guys, its time to go." Doctor Scott _had _to walk in didn't he, flanked with orderlies, looking like they were ready to drag us away from our poor Tom. "no! No, don't go! Please, you can't!" Tom panicked, burying himself into our chests, whimpering loudly. "Tom, what have we said before about this?" Doctor Scott gave Tom a warning look, the poor guy whimpered even louder, refusing to admit that he had to move. "no, no, no, no, no!" Tom sobbed even louder, his knees buckling as he shook so badly I literally thought he was going to collapse.

64 Dougie's POV

Eventually, we had to let Tom go, the orderlies forced that, by grabbing him and making us leave. I had never heard Tom scream and freak out so much in my life, he was hysterical, screaming and fighting madly to try and get to us, looking so panicked at the fact that we were walking away. Danny wasn't fairing much better, barely even moving his feet down the corridor, only moving because we were moving him, tears falling down his face.

"Danny! Danny no! Don't leave me! Don't leave me!" Tom screamed, before his mouth got covered and he was dragged away down a corridor. "come on Danny, we need to leave now. Come on." Harry reluctantly grabbed hold of Danny properly, before he ran down towards his lover again. "but, but, Tommy!" Danny whimpered, digging his heels in. "we know, but we can't stay. We'll get kicked out in a minute, come on." Harry sighed, I could see on his face that he wanted to stay here too, like me and Danny did, but we couldn't. We would get kicked out if we didn't leave soon, and that probably wouldn't help our visitation rights in anyway.

"but, but!" Danny whimpered, but let us take him out. We reached the car and managed to get him in it, and thats when he burst into tears, properly burst into bodily shaking, breath taking, heart shattering tears. We wrapped the poor boy into our arms within seconds, and I tried not to cry myself, seeing Tom freak out so much just by leaving him hurt so bad. I hadn't realised just how much he needed us, how much he wanted us to still be with him. I had known that Tom wanted us to stay and didn't particularly like being in the ward, but I hadn't realised just how badly he would fight and cry, I hadn't ever heard Tom scream so loudly in my life. My ears were still ringing a little.

"he's, he's so s-scared! T-they can't treat him like that, can they?" Danny whimpered, looking at Harry like he had all the answers. "they can drag him away when they need to. But I'm sure they won't actually hurt Tom, he'll probably calm down soon." Harry lied, like Tom was actually calm down quickly, that had been a full scale _freak _out. "yeah, he'll calm down soon. Its just because its the first time we've left him, knowing we can't come back until next week." I lied too, maybe comforting lies were better for the moment, just to help Danny calm down for now.

It seemed to work a little, and a little while later, we could actually drive off from the hospital. I stayed in the back with Danny, giving him a much needed hug for support. I felt so sorry for him, the poor guy just wanted his boyfriend to be happy and safe, had thought that this was a good idea too, to get him better, but none of us had seen just hard it would be to walk away from poor Tom. None of us had known that it would be so hard to just walk away while our best friend, our leader, got held back as he cried out for us. It was the most painful thing, to not run back again and hug him close, tell him that we were staying, that we weren't going anywhere without him.


	34. Chapter 34

**monkeywaiters - sorry! *offers hugs***

* * *

65 Tom's POV

"no! Danny! Come back!" I screamed, I couldn't see through my tears, I couldn't breathe, it hurt so bad! "will you be quiet? Danny's not coming back, none of your friends are. Stop showing off!" an orderly growled at me, pulling me down so many corridors, holding my chest so tight. "no! Let me go! Let me go!" I cried, I just wanted Danny, Harry and Dougie to be here. I was so scared on my own, everyone was so mean! I just wanted to be with my friends, that was all, I just wanted to be with my friends! They made me feel safe, I didn't feel safe here! I wasn't safe here!

"calm the hell down right now Tom, I will not ask again. You are being stupid right now. Your friends just left, thats _all _they did, it does not need this reaction." The orderly slammed me into a wall and forced me to stand still and look at him. "but I need them! And they need me!" I cried, why didn't he understand why I needed my friends so badly?! "they don't need you, so stop being such a baby and _behave. _You don't want to be punished do you?" I shook my head, I didn't like being punished! It was so dark and cold in the small room, it scared me so much. "good, now shut up. I'm going to take you back to your room, are you going to behave there?" I nodded at him, not wanting to, but I had to. I was going to be in huge trouble if I didn't behave.

My arm was yanked back down the corridor, and I was pushed back into my room, the door was locked behind me. They always locked me in my room, they didn't like me walking around, unless someone was there with me. But that person was always so mean! They left bruises on my arms, pushed me around, glared and growled at me if I said anything. I felt like an animal, like I was in a cage, and nobody wanted to be nice to me. Only Danny, Harry, Dougie and Carrie were nice to me, even Doctor Scott was mean to me now. He made me do things I didn't want to do, he told me that crying like I did was stupid and I shouldn't do it. But I just missed my friends, I just wanted to be with my friends and feel safe and liked. I just wanted to feel like I was liked by someone.

I got back on my bed and laid down where Danny had been laying, it smelt like him, I missed him so much already. I shouldn't have fallen asleep today, but I had felt so much safer in his arms I couldn't help it. He was so safe and warm, he liked me, he was so nice to me, like no-one else was, I couldn't help but fall asleep in his arms. Tears started falling down my face again, I felt so lonely already. I was alone in my room, with only James to hug. He couldn't hug me back, couldn't talk to me properly, couldn't do anything. I hugged him anyway, because I couldn't do anything else right now, and I needed to hug _something. _

"I love you Tommy." James said in Danny's voice, it made me cry even more, Danny hadn't told me that he loved me today. He hadn't said anything like that, he just hugged me and told me it was going to be okay. But it wasn't okay right now, it was horrible, I wanted to go home and stay there. I wanted to be at home, safe and sound, I wasn't safe here, and it wasn't in anyway nice. This place was supposed to be making me happier, but I was only getting sadder and sadder here, how was this getting better? It wasn't! I just wanted to feel safe and go home, it happier there, no-one was mean, and it was safe there. And I knew that I could make Danny happy there too, so he wouldn't cheat on me. I didn't have a hope here, I couldn't do anything! I couldn't even go outside here! I was caged inside these walls, how could I be happy, or make anyone else happy while I was trapped?!

Suddenly the door opened again and another orderly came in, he didn't say a word to me, just dragged me outside and down the hall to the canteen. He shoved a needle in my arm, then pushed me onto a chair and made me eat something, before shoving me into the art room. But I didn't want to draw, I wanted to go back to my room and hide until I was allowed to go home. Why couldn't I go home and hide away from everything?

66 Danny's POV

The days dragged from then on, days dragged out for so long and the nights were even longer. I couldn't sleep without Tom next to me, curled up in my arms, his head pillowed on my chest, our legs entangled. I laid awake almost every night, staring at the space where Tom should have been. I had filled it with some of Tom's toys, but it wasn't the same as having a warm little body curled up to me, having a small conversation before dropping into dream land, being told that I was loved, I hadn't heard that in months, but I still missed it so much. I missed _Tom _so much, though I wasn't sure what I craved more. The childish dependent Tom that almost gave me a heart attack every other day because of something he did, or the 'normal' Tom, the happy, bouncy, funny, talented, still childish, but so loving Tom. At the moment, I would take any form of Tom I could, no matter how dependent on me he was, I just needed to be with him so badly.

Saturdays were the best days, I loved them so much, because I could actually see Tom, talk to him, kiss him, and tell him that I loved him so much. Visiting hours weren't long enough, nowhere near long enough, there wasn't time to hug and talk things through. I needed more time, I needed the whole day at the very least, just so I could tell my boyfriend how much I loved him and how much I missed him. Without Tom running around the house, I felt empty, every house felt empty without him. Wherever we went, it wasn't right without Tom next to me, clinging to my hand, just like I had told him to. I couldn't even go to shopping for food without thinking of mine and Tom's trips down here, squashing him between me and the trolleys handle, letting him push it along and getting him naming things on the shelves, just to try and get his brain working.

"hey, come on Danny, we're almost done." Carrie smiled, I had no idea why she had dragged me outside my house to go shopping with her, but she had. She had burst into my house, told me that I was being lazy, and that I needed fresh air, then dragged me outside. I guessed that she had needed someone to drive her, seeing as she didn't have a car. Oh well, I hoped it would be over soon, I wanted to hide inside my house again. "yeah, I know, I'm following." I sighed, speeding up my pace a little, earning a small smile from Carrie. D*mn, her smile was like Toms, her mannerisms were too. It shouldn't have comforted me, but it did, to have a little part of Tom bouncing around here, reminding me so much of my troubled boyfriend.

I got dragged round the rest of the shop, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief when I reached the car, I couldn't wait to hide away in the house again, and try and get some sleep. I was so tired, so, so tired, I needed some sleep, and soon. So, I drove home, helped Carrie unpack her stuff and crashed on Tom's sofa. I hadn't meant to crash there, but it was so soft and comfy to lay on, the amount of times, me and Tom had completely crashed out on the sofa after a busy day or something, maybe I just needed to find a place that was comforting enough to let me sleep, would this be the place?

_I stumbled into Tom as he tried to open the door, feeling so unbelievably tired, I just wanted to crash out at this point. We had been filming our new video, for our latest song Please Please, it had been such a long day, I had only just made it through the last few shots. Somehow, Tom was still quite awake, but right now, I was unusually the one in need of a cuddle and a few hours rest. Eventually the door opened and I clung onto Tom's shoulders so he could drag me into his house. _

_"Danny how many times, you're too heavy to drag anywhere!" Tom laughed lightly. "don't care, too tired." I mumbled, making some effort to move my feet as Tom moved. "I know, go and have a lay down on the sofa for a while, you'll feel better there." Tom gently laid me down on the sofa, kissing my hair. He made to move, but I grabbed his hand. "stay here, I want to cuddle for a little while." I pleaded, I soon felt Tom lay down too. I was soon laying with my back against Tom's chest, his hand resting on my stomach under my tshirt, warm and comforting. "night Dan, I love you." Tom kissed my neck gently. "night, I love you too." I whispered, dropping off pretty quickly. _

I didn't wake up from dreaming of Tom for hours, and it was pure _Heaven. _


	35. Chapter 35

**monkeywaitors - thank you! though sorry about ripping out your heart! *hands tissue* also, i have a few SA's planned out for this fic, set before this fic takes place, would you be interested in me posting them once i've written them?**

* * *

67 Tom's POV

I finished another session with Doctor Scott and got dragged to the day room, where the big TV was. Loads of people were watching it, but a few were playing some games together, or just talking to each other. I didn't want to be in here, it was too filled with people, I didn't like the people here. Even though they ignored me mostly, I didn't like them, they were weird. "so Tom, do you want to watch some TV with the others, or do you want to play some games with the others?" Doctor Scott asked, I didn't want to do either! I wanted to go back to my room, and play on the guitar I had taken from the music room. It didn't feel completely right to be playing by myself, but it was better than nothing, especially since I could play Safe And Sound now. It made me feel better to hear it, even though I was the one playing it.

"Tom? Do you have an answer for me?" Doctor Scott pushed, I shook my head. "I-I want to go back to my room and play guitar." I whispered, not wanting to annoy him, but not wanting to still be here. "okay, well, you can't right now. I want you to be around the other patients, talk to them. You don't talk to anyone here, and you really should learn to be around people other than your friends." Doctor Scott explained...oh, "so, do you want to sit here with the others, or do you want to play some games?" he asked, I didn't know! "c-can they be outside games?" I asked, I would have liked to go outside, I hadn't left this place in at least a month. I needed to have some fresh air, and to run around for a while. "erm, no. Not yet, considering you won't stop trying to run away, we don't want to lose you Tom, so no you can't go out yet." Oh...but I only tried to run away when Danny, Harry and Dougie left! I didn't try and run _all _the time, only when I knew there was a car that could take me home.

"I'll stay here and watch TV then." I sighed, sitting on a chair by myself. This wasn't too bad I guess. "good boy, now in about an hour or two, I want you to sit on the sofa, next to someone, alright? I want you to at least try and make friends with someone." Doctor Scott left me there, being guarded by an orderly. He looked very, very mean, like he would hit me if I said something to him. "what are _you _looking at?" he glared at me, I quickly looked away from him, feeling like I could die if I looked in his eyes. I felt like that with everyone apart from Danny, Harry, Dougie and Carrie. I couldn't look into anyone elses eyes, they could read my mind or something, I didn't want my mind read, it was a scary place in there.

I did as I was told though and sat there in the chair for a while, watching the TV, the programme was about a _really _clever man, who solved crimes. He had an assistant, he was a doctor, but he wasn't a clever as his friend, he was _really, really _clever. I think I liked this show, I couldn't understand some of what the clever one said, but, I understood a bit of it. I think I preferred cartoons though, they were funny.

"time to move over a bit, go and sit on that sofa over there." The orderly suddenly told me, making me move over to a sofa. There was another person sitting on it, they stayed on their side of the sofa, wrapped in a blanket and a big hoodie, with the hood up. "go away, don't sit next to me." They said, they sounded angry. "no, Tom's staying. It'll be good for the both of you." The orderly made me sit on the sofa. "I said go away! I don't want to sit next to anyone, especially _him." _The person growled, what had I done? "and why not? What has Tom ever done to you?" the orderly forced me to sit down again as I got up, I didn't want to hear this, I didn't want to hear why they didn't even want to sit near me.

"he's the one that Alex hates. If Alex hates him, I hate him too." The person got up and stormed off, but I hadn't done anything to either of them! I promise, I hadn't gone near them! I hadn't even met Alex before I came here, how did she hate me before I even spoke to her?! I didn't know why they hated me so much, I hadn't done anything! "Tom, stay here. You haven't done anything wrong for once, stay here. Stay right here, she's gone now, everyone else doesn't hate you. They're not going to be mean to you." The orderly forced me to stay again, but I didn't want to be here anymore. I wanted to go and hide away before more people were mean to me. I hadn't met a single person here who was nice to me, people moved away when I sat down at tables, when I hadn't done anything to them. I just wanted to go back to my room now, before more people were mean.

"please, let me go back to my room, please!" I begged, I wanted to hide, couldn't I just hide? "you're under orders to stay Tom. Just sit down and let someone come over and sit next to you." The orderly sighed. "please, let me go...cant I go to the music room instead?" I needed to hear Safe And Sound, right now, I needed to hear it so I felt better. "alright, if it'll keep you quiet. There's bound to be someone in there." The orderly pulled me down to the music room, I was playing guitar within minutes, feeling better straight away. I needed to hear this right now, so I felt better, so I didn't feel so bad. I just wished that everyone was nicer, or at least some were, so I could talk to someone and feel like someone liked me. I missed talking to people, hugging people, just being with people. People who were nice, who talked to me like I was normal, like they liked me.

68 Danny's POV

When I woke up, I realised that I had in fact fallen asleep on the sofa. Well, at least I felt a little more awake now, which was a start. "evening sleepy head." Harry teased, wait, since when did he and Dougie get here? "eh? Have I missed something?" I asked, a bit confused over why they were here. "nope, we just came round when we found out you were sleeping. Couldn't believe it, so we had to see it for ourselves." Dougie smiled a little, for the first time since last Saturday. "I'm glad to see how my lack of sleep is giving you entertainment." I said dryly, sticking my tongue out at the kid. I just got a face pulled back at me, so I knocked his hat off by hitting the brim of it, making it flip into the air and fall onto the floor.

Dougie grabbed it and pushed it back on top of his head again, his hands covered by a very, very large shirt I recognised as Toms. "hey, when did you steal that?" I was almost certain that that was the shirt that Tom had been wearing when the hospital had been ringing us over and over again, and when we used to do concerts, it was the shirt he tied around his waist. "a few weeks ago. It helps me sleep, do you mind?" Dougie went to take it off. "keep it mate. At least there's something helping at least one of us sleep." I smiled a little, at least I knew that there was something that was helping Harry and Dougie sleep at night. I had tried wearing Tom's clothes, but it did nothing for me, at the moment, only the sofa was helping me out.

Eventually, we all decided to move this gathering back to mine, it didn't feel right in Tom's house without him there. Sure I had been left alone in there a whole load of times, I had almost lived in Tom's house, basically using my own house to keep my junk in, but those times I knew where Tom was, knew he was going to be back at any moment. Now, sitting in his house, with Harry, Dougie and Carrie without Tom, knowing that there was no way in hell he was going to be coming home in a few minutes freaked me out. It felt like we were trespassing, like we really shouldn't have been there. I don't know, it just felt like we should have been leaving Tom's house alone until he was there inside it permanently again.

I ended up cooking for everyone, to take my mind off things for a while. It was nice, to be thinking of something other Tom and how much I missed him. Not that I didn't like thinking about him, I loved thinking back to some of our adventures, remembering things like our first kiss, the first time I woke up next to Tom's sleeping face and knowing it wasn't because we had been writing late into the night. Things like that were so nice to remember, but then made me feel so lonely seconds later, when I realised I wasn't actually in that moment anymore. I sighed, I was sure I would get Tom back at some point, the Tom who had helped make all those memories, who I could make more like them with for the rest of our lives.

"you alright in here Dan?" Harry made me jump suddenly, how long had I been inside my own thoughts again? "er, yeah, yeah I'm good." I nodded, stirring the spaghetti in its saucepan. "good, you just seemed a little out of it then." Harry smiled a little, soon being joined by his tiny little husband, who hopped onto the counter. "I was just thinking." I shrugged it off, not really sure what I should have been saying at this point. "you think far too much these days Danny. Tom's fine, I'm sure he's fine. He's in good hands, you shouldn't spend all day worrying about him." Harry sighed, he was right I guess. But, I couldn't help it. I had cared for Tom for years, ever since we had entered the 363rd room of the Intercontinental Hotel. He had been my anchor for years, he kept me grounded, he made me, I needed him. I couldn't just let him out of my sight, and believe that he was going to be fine. And seeing as he was always so depressed there, probably thinking I was going to cheat on him at some point, I couldn't just relax and stop thinking about it. I explained that, and the guys seemed to understand me, thank god. But, they still said that I had to trust that things would get better soon, because it was all a part of Tom getting used to being by himself and that it was part of his treatment.

"I know it is, but it shouldn't hurt him so much." I whimpered, because it shouldn't have been hurting him like this. "well, maybe its worth a little pain, to get our Tom back." Harry ran his hand over my tattooed arm in comfort. "it better be. I need Tom back, and soon." I leant into him, needing a hug off someone. "he'll come back to us soon. Or you never know, we might be able to take him out for another day out. That'll be good won't it?" Dougie joined in our hug, the smell of Tom from the shirt he was wearing wafted up, my god that smelt good. "yeah, that'll be good." I sighed, before realising that our dinner was ready. We carried on talking about things as we ate, and I honestly did feel better afterwards, talking about things did make me feel a little better. And with the protection of Harry and Dougie laying either side of me, I actually managed to fall asleep, feeling safe sandwiched between my friends. Maybe today wasn't so bad after all.


End file.
